The Constant Trainer

Let the Fun Begin

2011-12-18T19:23:00.008-05:00

Hello...long time no blog. I have been a super slacker with my posts since life seems to be super busy but after my strength coach Brendan Ahearn started his blog http://minimalist-training.blogspot.com/ (you need to check it out)I figured it was time for me to make some time and share this amazing journey with you.

Here's a little backstory about the last year - in July of 2010 I decided that I was going to step it up and do an Ironman Lake Placid in 2011. You actually have to volunteer, sit at your computer waiting for the exact second they open registration or you can take an Ironman Foundation charity slow which is about $1200, half of which is tax deductible. I was late with my registration so I took a charity slot, this was not only a huge time commitment but obviously the financial commitment was no joke.

The end of my 2010 race season was fantastic minus a procedure that kept me from working out and a weird, almost unbearable, pain in my foot when I was finally able to hit the pavement again. It was October when I first started to see my podiatrist about the pain so I wasn't too worried about actually training because that wasn't going to start until January which was months away. Well no running in October turned into no running in November which turned into no running in December because no matter how much rest I gave my foot it would NOT get better. Finally I gave in and went for an MRI in early January. The MRI showed that I had a tear in my Plantar's Plate on the bottom of my foot - kind of like a meniscus tear meaning the only true way to fix it was with surgery - unless you have a doctor who will do anything he can to prevent it. Surgery was not an option since I was doing Ironman in July so to help rest my foot I was put into a boot to my knee for 9 weeks.

The boot and I were together through many events including a trip to New Orleans with a group of peeps who were doing a half marathon I was supposed to do. My foot was supposed to be getting rest so that when the boot came off I could run again...all the boot really did was weaken my entire body, cause me horrible back pain, keep me home from work on heavy snow days (it was a horrible winter) and it didn't even get me a seat on my beloved Metro North ride to work. I was able to swim, bike and workout with Brendan. Nothing felt good and none of my workouts made me feel like I was progressing at all with my fitness or towards my goal but I kept plugging along.

FINALLY in March I was relieved to be out of the boot and back on the road again, kind of...I was allowed to walk but not run. Now let's just say I LOVE walking but running not so much which at this point it was not even an option. I had resigned myself to the reality that I would be walking 26.2 miles after biking 112 which I was OK with since I was still going to hear those words "Shoshana Riss you ARE an Ironman" so who cared how I got to the finish line. As I said above none of my workouts were progressing because I was weak from having virtually no use of the right side of my body for weeks.

When I tell you that my doctor did everything he could to prevent my surgery I am being completely honest. After the boot we tried some treatments where I had electric shocks on my foot which was somehow to going to improve blood-flow and help "heal" my injury. Since I was still insisting on training and obviously showing up "prepared" at Mirror Lake in July I was actually causing a secondary injury...I developed a Hammer Toe because my toe was unstable thanks to the tear. Oh joy!

On the Monday after Mother's Day I had yet another foot doctor appointment and on my way there I had called my dear friend David to see about securing a slot for Ironman Florida in November...I had decided on my own that surgery was the only alternative. I had pain, swelling and was only allowed to wear sneakers so the decision was really a no brainer once I faced reality. It was a devastating blow and I cried as I told my doctor what I had decided. Honestly I do think that he was relieved and he said that I really did make the right decision. He did explain that if I wanted to live a "normal" life I would not have to have the surgery but since I am masochist who insists on doing Ironman it was the best thing for me. He has even promised to put my finisher picture up in the office which is really touching.

June 10, 2011 was the day. I had 3 incisions made in my foot, 2 bones cut, a screw put into my second metatarsal and the most dreaded of all, a pin into my toe, which stuck out the end, to give the newly shortened toe some stability. THAT WAS HORRIBLE. Needless to say my summer passed at a snail's pace and it took me until November to come out of the funk that I was in. At the end of the trialthon season, typically mid-September, everyone is kind of bummed but we're all going through it together for me my season ended before it started and all of my friends were still training....it sent me for a loop.

It is now the middle of December and I am able to swim, bike, run and strength train. My foot causes my anxiety from time to time but in the few months that I have been back at it I have seen a huge improvement in all 4 disciplines (OK not so much on my swim unfortunately but everything else for sure!). My coach, Ray Kelly, told me that I am going into my training season strong and ready which is not how I went in last year.

All of that said I am going to document my journey back from foot surgery with my bionic foot to the finish line of Ironman Lake Placid on July 22, 2012 where I hope to hear "Shoshana Riss you ARE an Ironman". I am racing and raising money for Challenged Athletes Foundation for many reasons but this summer was eye opening for me being on crutches and commuting to Manhattan...that was 2 weeks and I struggled....think about doing that every day. Perspective is everything.

The First Day of School

2010-02-02T07:36:00.010-05:00

A year ago today I walked into my first triathlon training class at the Rye Y. I knew nobody in there and had no idea what to expect, it was a super scary experience. It may be hard to believe but in certain situations I am actually shy - stop laughing it's true even my mom will tell you that. To make matters worse I missed the first few meetings so I really knew nobody and here I was walking into a group training situation. Of course all of the usual things went through my mind...would I be good enough, would I be the slowest, would I make friends and countless other things that caused me to panic. In reality I was good enough, I was the slowest (at running anyway) and YES I made friends so nothing bad happened and my worst fears were really all in my head. The thing that I have realized about triathletes is that although it's a competitive sport we really are a team of supportive people...after all we all race for the Rye Y Tri Club. We stand by our fellow triathletes...nobody is ever "left behind" on a training bike ride, run or swim. There is something about knowing this that I am trying to bring with me into my second year taking the class. I have made some amazing friends through the class and the club. People who I train with, socialize with and talk to on a daily basis - I am 100% comfortable around these athletes many of whom will smoke me while racing but will always be at the finish line to cheer me on - that's what I mean about being supportive.

Tonight class starts and there is a mixed group of newbies and alumni like me. I have introduced myself to as many of the new people as possible at the meetings we've had to help them not be as nervous or feel so alone walking into the spin room with this group of friends for the first time. Kind of like the first day of school - knowing that you were walking into a classroom of friends always made going back after a break made a lot better. When I was in 6th grade we moved from Scarsdale to Rye right in the middle of the year....yup after Thanksgiving I had to start at a new school where I knew not a soul. I can clearly remember walking into the school for the first time and being filled with dread and a lot of the same questions running through my head but most of all will I have any friends, will anyone eat lunch with me or even talk to me. Needless to say it all worked out and I did make friends which is pretty typical of these situations.

It is amazing how calming it can be to recognize just one smiling face in a group. As I have said these last two years have been growth years for me and part of this is realizing that being kind to others every day is so important. I was not always a nice person but I think that a lot that stems from the fact that I was so unhappy with myself and my life that it was hard to be nice to or even happy for anyone else. I am a lot more comfortable with who I am and with the life that I have created for myself, that in and of itself makes me a happier person which in turn allows me to be happy for other people. Does that make sense? It is amazing that the smallest things can sometimes make the biggest difference in the lives of others and it is kind of sad that I had to live 37 years to learn that although I guess it's better late than never. Being part of the tri team has given me the chance to make a difference in peoples lives like I never knew I could. Mostly through donations to charities that I never thought of or volunteering at a race when I would rather be in bed sleeping but these small acts make a difference not only to those benefitting but to me. That is why I made it my personal mission this go around of the class to make sure that people who were doing this for the first time had one face in the crowd that they would recognize - hopefully that will help them feel like they too are really part of the team.

Training is hard enough and it takes over a lot of your life - it is really comforting to know that you have at least one person who you can lean on as the hours get longer and the workouts get harder. I complain A LOT during training, especially spinning but no matter what I will always smile...

Racing for a Reason. Please donate.

Comfort Zones

2010-01-25T13:40:00.011-05:00

I like most people have spent much of my life living within or even below my comfort zone. Those zones are different for everyone and choosing to push or get out of them is very personal. We have comfort zones at work, in relationships and of course about our physical abilities. As I have said before I could not run one lap around the track in high school and I HATED gym class. Running, playing soccer, tennis, hockey on the frozen tennis courts or Square Dancing (yes right before Thanksgiving break we had a week of Square Dancing) were all way out of where I felt comfortable. I was always overweight and being well endowed from a young age are not a good combo for loving gym class. We had the President's Physical Fitness test every year and the year I had Mono I was so happy because I was not able to participate. Does everyone remember what this "test" consisted of...running a mile (UGH), the long jump (yeah right), pull ups (HA HA OK), sit ups (I was overweight what were abs?), and the sit and reach (FINALLY something I excelled at). Why all this talk about high school gym?? Well recently I have been tasked with pushing myself out of my comfort zones through my training.

If 20 years ago someone had told me that I would not only have completed 11 half marathons, 1 full marathon and several trialthons but that I would be training for not one but two half Ironman races I would have laughed in their face. Let's also be real here 20 years NOBODY in their right mind would even suggest any of this to me. Needless to say I have come a long way in recent years. I have been asked lately by different people why I would want to do a half Ironman or even an Ironman (Nov 2011) distance race...was I crazy?? Well kind of but the real answer is "because I can".

Last year I started doing triathlon and training with the Rye Y Tri Club but I was not as dedicated to it as I should have been after all life happens but I learned that I LOVED racing and I LOVE tri. At the end of the 2009 race season I was super depressed about not having anything to train for and since the season ended with such a high I really got to thinking of what the next step would be. Part of the "off season" is spent planning your calendar for the following year...oh I could do that. I spent time talking to friends who I had raced with and friends who have done half and full Ironman races all of whom told me that I could do these distances. That got the wheels turning and without talking to Ray I convinced two of my friends from the Rye Y Tri Club to sign up for our first half Ironman in Michigan. There was NO way I was going to do this alone as we all know that misery loves company.

I am admittedly not a strong athlete. That is a true statement, I am in no way a natural and in order to race well I really do need to focus and train. Some people can just wing it and do well sadly I don't have that luxury. Oh and at heart believe it or not I am really lazy...I need to be pushed. With this personal knowledge I approach Ray about personally coaching me for the 2010 season so that not only would I finish the half Ironman races, yes there are two since I am terrible at standing up to peer pressure, but that I would finish strong. I have a personal goal of finishing the Michigan race in 7 hours or less, I'd be happy with 6:59:59. Sounds like a long time but it's a long distance.

Every day I get an email from Training Peaks with the workouts that Ray has plugged in for me to do. My entire training schedule is in by Sunday so that I can plan my week ahead. The plan started with about 7 or so hours of training, this week I am up to 9 hours and 15 minutes. Did I mention that I work full time and in the not so distant future there will be some 14 or 15 hour training weeks...YEAH talk about getting out of my comfort zone. I have 2 days of strength training and 6 days of swim, bike & run and sometimes more than one a day. Two a days have become my friends.

I have an indoor bike trainer which I love and recommend to anyone in a cold place who wants to ride their bike all year round. I ended up getting the Cycle Ops one and I have never looked back. I spend many mornings during the week training on Trixie, something that I would not have been able to do without the trainer. There is something about training on your actual bike that really makes going outside once the weather gets warmer not as daunting. Although I am still uncomfortable clipping and unclipping at least I can practice in the comfort of my apartment. I am always so nervous when we're out on the road that I literally panic but I push myself to do it...totally out of my comfort zone. Running outside is another thing that sometimes causes me a little anxiety. Something about people watching me plod along. I always feel like they are judging me and how slow I am. Being slow is bad enough but with this heart rate based training sometimes I feel like I am standing still. Unfortunately for me none of the races that I have entered for 2010 are run on the treadmill so I have to once again bust through my comfort zone and force myself to run in public no matter how slow. At least I am out there right?!?

Swimming has always been my strongest part of the triathlon. I seem to be pretty good at it and fortunately or unfortunately Ray knows this. Part of the base phase of training is to give yourself a test so that you can have a base and then try to take time off. I have also been doing descending 100's where my 7th 100 should be faster than my first. Somehow I end up doing ascending 100's because I push way too hard out of the blocks for lack of a better explaination. So I did my test while I was away in Michigan for Martin Luther King weekend and it was terrible - oh and I did 4 extra laps - so that certainly did not help my time at all. Well I was comfortable swimming slowly and not getting my heart rate too high after all I was training while on vacation isn't that enough?? Ummmm no. When I got out of the pool and had to email my time to Ray the disappointment I felt came through loud and clear to him. He was equally disappointed in my test time and with my 100's time. He told me in no uncertain terms that I am better than these times. You know what...he's right! I wasn't pushing myself at all during my swims because I know that I am good at this but at the same time I can GET BETTER. Isn't that the point of training and being coached? So this weekend I kicked butt in the pool and took almost 10 seconds off of my fastest 100. He is giving me 3 seconds to add to that time for now and I will work from there.

This race season I am seriously testing my soul and my body. I will be pushing not only physically but emotionally to my limits but I cannot let those limits stop me or get too comfortable. I know if they do then I will not only disappoint Ray, which would be bad but I will disappoint myself, which would be worse. I am done being disappointed in myself and have decided that with every workout and every opportunity I am going test my comfort zones.

Racing for a Reason. Please donate.

What I Have Learned

2010-01-11T12:51:00.008-05:00

It is amazing what you learn when you're actually paying attention. Sounds kind of obvious doesn't it? The 2010 Tri training season has begun and since I am working one on one with Ray Kelly I am super focused on heart rate based training. What does that mean? That means that I wear my Garmin 305 for every bike and run workout and I am required to stay within certain Zones for different reasons. For three days I had to get my waking heart rates and send them to Ray who created my Zones for training of which there are 5.

Zone 1: Recovery
Zone 2: Endurance
Zone 3: Tempo
Zone 4: Aerobic Threshold
Zone 5: Red Line (I so don't want to get there)

For the Build Phase of my training I get to spend A LOT of time in Zones 1 and 2. Now for those of you not totally familiar with HR training these Zones have pretty low beats per minute (BPM). My max for Zone 1 WAS 107 and for Zone 2 it WAS 125 but I found it nearly impossible to move slow enough to keep my heart beating at 107 BPM while trying to run. Try it and you'll see what I am talking about. As part of training with Ray I have to fill out a daily log on Training Peaks so that he can see that I did the workout and what I did during the workout. It also tracks other metrics like sleep, fatigue and soreness. The first run at a max of 107 BPM was supposed to be 45 minutes but I was so frustrated it only lasted 30 minutes most of which I spent walking to keep below the dreaded 107. In my notes that night I explained this frustration and that even I could not move that slow, I am slow but seriously this was getting ridiculous. The same week I also had a 45 minute Zone 1 and 2 run scheduled - the good news about this was that I was allowed to get my heart up to 125 BPM now I know that doesn't sound like much but after the torture of 107 this was a dream or so I thought....this was just as hard. I spent a lot of time walking to bring my beats down but I managed to keep it up for 45 minutes. Again my notes to Ray reflected my frustration and although I know that there is reason for this can I please have some extra beats per minute. WISH GRANTED! I got 10 more BPM HAHA sounds funny but it's true.

This past Saturday I had a chance to test out the new Zones on my 45 minute run. Although still hard it was a lot better but I noticed something very interesting. I would be moving at a steady snail slow 4 MPH and all of a sudden my heart rate would just go up. I had done nothing different and it would just start to elevate like I had started to sprint - OK maybe that's an exaggeration but it would go up by a few beats. I added this phenomenon into my notes and I got a lovely email from Ray, have I mentioned how amazing he is, telling me that the reason for the "cardiac drift" is because I am not fit yet. YUP not fit! WOW you do do learn something every day as here I was thinking that I was so fit. I guess you can be in shape and not fit. Who knows but all I know is that I must take full advantage of the build in order to get myself fit.

I have also learned a few other very important things since I started to really focus on 2010. It is really hard to get your heart rate up on the indoor bike trainer. I have a few bike workouts throughout the week and again I am in the same Zones with the exception of when doing spin ups and going "up hill". It's amazing to see how quickly my heart comes back down after the exertion of those two pushes. If you have a bike and live where it's cold GET A TRAINER seriously. It makes such a difference as I would not be able to do these workouts on the bikes in the gym. I know that once spring comes I will be even more comfortable on my bike - I practice clipping in and out as well as standing while pedaling - both of which have been really scary for me. While I was in LA last week I had an hour ride on the schedule so I headed to the hotel gym for that...that lesson was that recumbent bikes give you a numb butt and a lot of knee pain. The good news is that I have regained feeling in my butt, plus the workout was done and out of the way for the week :-)

Another important thing I have learned is that psychologically I am my own worst enemy. The swim is my strongest of the three tri areas. I love to swim, mostly in open water but in the winter that is not an option, but I am holding myself back for some reason. One of the swim workouts that I have to do is a descending 100's workout. Basically you do 7 sets of 100s while taking time off each set and then you need to do 3 more at your fastest time. I have to add the times into my log for Ray to review. This morning I emailed him asking if he thought that the Masters Swim Program at the Y was a good idea for me, one of my friends thinks that I should be in it with her. Yes, was the answer but that my 100 times were high for my abilities. The more I think about it I know that he is right. Since I have a swim coach who I swim with once a week all I do is focus on my strokes or should I say "over focus" on my strokes and form. When I think too much I lose speed because I am so concerned about being perfect. This weekend while I am away I need to get my "T" or test time so that I can improve my 100s in the pool and over all time on race day. In order to get my T time I have to swim 1000 yards continuously and divide that time by 10, that will be my 100 time. Once I have that I need to work to reduce that number by June 13, the date of my first sprint distance race. I guess after swimming 2400 on Sunday this won't be too bad or so I say now.

It seems that getting out of my own way is the best way to improve performance. Once I was able to understand why I am running so slow, pushing so hard on the bike and swimming so "perfectly" I can make adjustments that will ultimately make me a faster, stronger and well balanced athlete. Learning keeps me sharp and on my toes plus it makes me smile to know that I can get that much better.

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy

2009-12-29T07:58:00.013-05:00

I have never been good at saying goodbye to anyone or anything for that matter. I know that it is part of life and part of change is saying goodbye. My sadness or dread of saying goodbye may stem from my parents getting divorced when I was 2. I lived with my mom and would visit my dad on school vacations and over the summer - I can remember saying goodbye to him at the end of my visits with uncontrollable tears and sadness. Two and a half years ago when I said goodbye to my ex boyfriend of almost 5 years I thought that my heart would stop and that I would never stop crying - I eventually did and I think that my heart is actually stronger because of it. Why would I bring up saying goodbye and such sadness on this first day of 2010? Well because with a new year beginning we say goodbye to the previous year and some of the things that made it what it was.

Last Tuesday I had to say goodbye to my beloved Weight Watchers members. I had been their leader for about four months and the decision to give it up was a very difficult one. Working for Weight Watchers had been my dream since I know without a doubt that without a great leader I never would have gotten to goal or even stayed when I hit my first plateau. I wanted to be that person...the one who people come to the meeting to see and be inspired by. Last January I was given that opportunity and what an honor it was. I know that I have talked about how I was never really the one picked for sports etc being that I could not even run a lap around the track and truthfully it never really mattered to me, but that Kelly, my WW boss, picked me.

When I made the decision to take on this role my life was a little bit different from where it is now and where is it going over the next 8 months. I had just started to get into triathlon and I was kind of half assing the training thinking that I could be all things to all people. I was part of the Rye Y Tri club and taking the classes two nights a week but that was about as far as it went. I was missing key workouts and then I had a brief relationship with someone which became my focus. I was kind of forgetting what was important to ME and what I needed to be happy. I was also leading a fantastic meeting in Ossining on Saturday mornings when people were meeting to run, swim or even bike. It was becoming more and more difficult to make it to that meeting while dating and training so when the chance to move to a closer meeting during the week was offered I snapped it up.

When I said goodbye to the Ossining meeting my members were shocked and quite upset. I felt selfish and as if I was letting people down which I hate doing. They hugged me and thanked me for supporting them and inspiring them to stay on their weight loss journeys. There really is something to be said for the theory of "if you can do it then so can I". I walked away knowing that I was leaving them in the very capable hands of another leader who is fantastic so I knew that they would be taken care of. That gave me a lot of peace of mind. You'd think that once my Saturdays were free that I would have focused on the tri season that I had ahead of me...yeah not so much. I was still wrapped up with my ex, the one I dated for a short time but who had a lasting role in my life...HAD being the key word. Once I was able to separate myself from him I realized that I only had a few races left and I wanted to rock both of them so I refocused on ME once again.

That brings me to making the decision to leave my Tuesday night meeting. I knew that for the 2010 triathlon season that I wanted to push myself to do bigger and more challenging races - mission accomplished -I have 2 sprints, 2 Olympic distance and 2 half Iron distance. When I decided on the half Iron I knew that the amount of time I would have to devote to training was going to be huge and by huge I mean some weeks I will be training for 15 hours...YES on top of working a full time job AND trying to have a social life. The stress that I was feeling about juggling those three things was big enough but adding in trying to devote time to my meeting was just about pushing me over the edge. I had to come to terms with the reality and that is that I had to give something up which was not going to be my job at DIRECTV and it was not going to be my training or social life so that left one thing...you can probably guess what that is. I struggled with this decision as the guilt of letting yet another meeting of members down tore my heart out but I had to be true to myself. Towards the end of 2009 I realized that it's OK to put myself first no matter how scary or selfish it seems to be.

Once the decision was made I needed to give Weight Watchers my notice so that they could find someone to take over. I had decided that I would stay through the holidays since I know first hand what a challenge they can be and it would not be fair to leave them during these trying times. Two weeks ago I had to tell my members that I was leaving and I can tell you that they were not happy. A lot of them had started with me and some of them had told me that although Tuesday is not a good night for them to come to a meeting they come because they like me....this information made my telling them even harder. When they showed up this week they "pretended" to be mad at me although I am pretty sure that some of it was not an act and that they may feel that I have let them down, although I know that I made the right decision I felt in some way that I was letting them down too. At the end of the meeting they hugged me and said that they will miss me very much but that they truly understand that mentally and physically I need to give up this meeting. I gave them my email address and told them that I was only an email away and that I was always available to offer support. Knowing that I had really made a difference in their lives is something that I was able to take away with me.

When the last members had said their goodbyes and I was left alone in the meeting room I was able to breath...I knew that I had done the right thing for these amazing people who deserve nothing but the best and full attention of their leader. I knew that I had done something to take care of myself and admitting that I could not do everything was OK. I have learned that saying goodbye to things that you love is not the end of the world whether it be a job, friends, a serious relationship that you had or even Weight Watchers members because sometimes you need to say goodbye to make room to welcome things into your life. That being said I am welcoming 2010 and all of the challenges, good and bad, that it brings. Happy New Year may 2010 be filled with love, joy and happiness.

And So It Begins

2009-12-26T07:15:00.007-05:00

First I want to wish all of my friends a Merry, although belated, Christmas. Being Jewish we have a bit of a different tradition for the holiday - last night my parents and I met with a high school friend of mine and his parents for dinner and a movie. We saw 'Sherlock Holmes' which was OK...more of a rental but Jude Law is soooooo dreamy. I truly hope that everyone enjoyed their time with their families and friends as that is what the holiday season is really about.

So what begins??? Well my 2010 training season starts now. On Monday night I met with Ray Kelly to plan out my Half Ironman training plan. He started out with 400 hours of training from January through October but he told me repeatedly that it will mostly probably be a bit more with 5 hour bike rides on some weekends. Some weeks I will train for 8 hours and some weeks it will be 14 or 15 hours. This information was as exciting as it was overwhelming and being armed with it I had to make some important decisions in my life. What I learned is that bad decisions are so easy to make while the right decisions are the hardest...

As you know I am a Weight Watchers leader and I have one meeting on Tuesday night in Mamaroneck, one town away from where I live, I was also recently promoted at DIRECTV, my day job. Based on the information and schedule that I went over with Ray I knew that something had to give so that I can remain not only physically healthy but mentally healthy. As part of my training log on trainingpeaks.com, that is where he uploads my daily workouts and where I add in the information about what workout I actually did, I have to add in some information about how I am mentally feeling (sleep, mood, energy etc). That is really just as important as how I am physically trained - a tired, grumpy athlete is just as proned to injury as an untrained athlete. I had been thinking about giving up my Weight Watchers meeting since I decided to take on the challenge of the Half Ironman because I know that the time commitment required will not leave me a lot of Shosh time. So I spoke to my Weight Watchers boss about it and last week I gave my notice - I felt as much relief as I did sadness. I love my members and inspiring people to live longer, healthier lives which is why I know that this is the right decision. By giving up this meeting I am relieving myself of some stress which will help me to live a longer, heathlier life again both mentally and physically. My last meeting is this Tuesday and I will leave knowing that I have guided my members on their weight loss journeys which is an amazing feeling.

Ray and I went over my race calendar for 2010 and it's a doozy! I am doing one half marathon in DisneyWorld at the beginning on March and six trialthons of varying lengths. In June I will be doing the Sleepy Hollow Sprint Triathlon again (Ray is the race director), in July I am doing the Nautica New York City tri (this race sold out in 7 minutes!) and the Whirlpool IRONMAN 70.3 Steelhead (I am raising money for CAF for this race). I was going to take the month of August off to recover a bit but then I caved to peer pressure and added another Half Ironman to the calendar Ironman 70.3 Timberman, seriously I have no idea what I am thinking haha. September I will once again do the Danskin Women's tri and I will be ending the season with the Jarden Westchester tri where I am hoping for a personal record. Looking at this schedule Ray told me that we need to focus on keeping me injury free as an injury could completely derail these plans. The beginning phase of my training, which I have started, is to build strength to help my body stay healthy and strong. I also meet with a nutritionist twice a month to make sure that I am fueling my body properly since it's amazing how many calories it takes to train and race at this level. (I laugh when I talk about my tri coach, my swim coach and my nutritionist - you'd think that I was some elite athlete or something). I call her The Wizard as she knows her stuff and is a triathlete herself...what a combo.

Today as part of getting my training season started I am getting Trixie, my tri bike, refitted for me. She was fitted for the girl I bought her from as I spent a lot of last season not focusing on what needed to be done, that's a blog for another day. I will also be purchasing an indoor bike trainer so that I can spend time riding my bike while the weather outside in not agreeable. Knowing that the bike portion of the 70.3 races is 56 miles that will require A LOT of time in my bike saddle. Living on the east coast I know that my outside season is relatively short and I want to make sure that I am strong come March/April when we can get outside.

I am excited and optimistic about 2010 for so many reasons. I love racing and I know that this training will certainly help me to get into the best shape of my life. I will be pushed both mentally and physically to my ultimate limits with my eye on Ironman 2011...

How Do You Thank One of the People Who Gave You Life?

2009-12-21T10:05:00.009-05:00

With a surprise 60th birthday party that's how. Yesterday my family and I had a surprise for my mom's big birthday...yup she's 60. I am so lucky to have such a young and vibrant mother - we're actually only 22 years apart. Part of the invite that was sent out asked people to think about stories that they have about my mom as part of a life review for her and for them. Unfortunately we ran out of time so that part of the party didn't happen but I did have some stories to share about my mom. This morning I thought that this would be the perfect place to share them.

My mom and I have not always gotten along - I think that's pretty typical for mothers and daughters. I was a difficult and lazy teenager and she was a busy working mom trying her best to raise me with the nearby help of my step-father and the long distance help of my dad. Now that I think about it difficult is probably putting it mildly. I went away to college instead of going local and living at home which was really the turning point in my relationship with my mom. Once we got some space and distance it was easier to build our "friendship". That's what we have mostly a friendship, we have talked about this recently and how when she tries to act like a mom I get annoyed...

Over the years we have had many adventures together. She took me to Barbados, Maine, Norway and Denmark (to see my HS sweetheart who was there for the summer), and most recently to Italy on just us trips. I took her to Richmond to a NASCAR race and to the Indy 500. We met Florence Henderson, Jim Caviziel and John Corbett but the highlight of the Indy 500 was that in Nordstrom the woman behind the counter looked at my and said "you call her mom?". She thought that we were sisters. YUP my mom looks THAT good. We still giggle about it. We drove to San Fran together when I moved from Michigan - that is a trip that neither of us will forget. I was in a hurry to get there and start my new life and she wanted to take her time to see some of the sights along the way OH AND there was a meowing cat with a heart condition in the back seat. One of the best stories from that drive was when Jake, the cat, escaped from the first hotel room while my mom was doing the laundry. I had stepped out to make a phone call and when she turned her back he slipped out of the room. We could hear him meowing in the hotel hallway but it took a while to figure out where it was coming from...behind the Coke machine outside of our room. I did finally coax him out but he really liked it back there. She thought that I was going to be mad about it but it was pretty funny to hear the distant meowing and trying to find him.

She came to visit me so many times in California. We even drove from Nor Cal to So Cal with a GPS that she had named "Miss M" (it was a Magellan). After a while Miss M needed to be silenced or there was no guarantee we were going to survive the trip HAHA. My time in California was not easy on me for so many reasons and in turn it was not easy for my mom here in NY. She noticed that I had started to change into someone that she was having a hard time relating to and who did not resemble the daughter she knew. I called her in hysterics so many times and when my ex wanted to break up with me after my moving to Nor Cal somehow my mom was the one that had to break the news to me. I cannot even imagine how she must have felt that morning and any other time I called her with my heart broken and dreams crushed. Once my relationship ended and I told her I wanted to come home to start my life over she could not have been more supportive. We worked on my resume and being a Director of Human Resources she had a lot of inside tips. The day that I called to tell her I am coming home was one of the best days of my life - I was coming home to be with my family and lifelong friends.

Labor Day Monday 2007 I crossed the George Washington Bridge into NYC with the same cat in the car and I was HOME. My mom told me that night was the first time that she had slept in years without worrying about me. I was actually in my childhood room right next door to her bedroom. Obviously two adult women living together after living such separate lives for 10 years was a bit trying on everyone. I reverted back in some ways to being the child at home. She would do my wash, cook me dinner and get whatever I needed at the grocery store. This situation lasted 9 months...I moved out in February and then our relationship was able to get back on track.

The same month that I moved out I talked my mom into doing her first half marathon with me in Baltimore. At first she was hesitant but I told her I would never set her up for failure and if I didn't think she could do it I never would have suggested it. I have blogged about that race before but one of the best stories of that trip happened in the first hour of our drive to the race. My mom loves grape Propel and she freezes it in bottles - well she went to open a semi-defrosted drink it blew up in the car. All over the driver's side of the car was purple liquid and through our laughter she looks at me and asks "Do you think that the car will always be purple?". She had just bought the car as her lease was up so it had just been detailed. I still laugh when I think about it. It is stuff like this that bonds us together as mother and daughter as well as friends.

My mom has volunteered at all the finish line of allof my local triathlons. Seeing her there as I finish a race is a feeling that I cannot describe. She cried with me when I finished my first triathlon in Sleepy Hollow as she put the medal around my neck. And she stood in the pouring rain for almost 4 hours at the Jarden Westchester Tri putting medals on everyone that crossed the finish line passing time until the most important medal of the day (to her) could be placed around the neck of the athlete she loves the most. We knew that it was going to be a dreadful weather day for that race so my mom asked me if people would mind being poked in the eye as she put their medals on so she could have her umbrella. The Saturday night before that race as my entire family sat shivering listening to Challenged Athletes speak and parents talk about losing their kids to ALS my mom sat next to me knowing that we had so much to be thankful for. She used some of that wisdom to finish her race in Toronto when she was freezing and could not take one more step...it was the first time we didn't race together but she did it! At the age of 60 my mom is planning her 4th half marathon in Altanta this March. She's meeting her friends from Canada there.

I could go on and on about the woman who gave me life and has helped to shape me into the person that I am. We all know that we cannot pick our family but if given the choice to pick my mom and my dad I would not change either one of them. My mom is a gorgeous, smart, kind, loving, warm, endurance athlete who I am thankful for every day of my life. She is my biggest cheerleader, my best friend and someone who celebrates life as it should be celebrated. Happy 60th Birthday Mom - I love you more than words could ever express. Thank you for everything - my life is what it is because of you.

Opportunity Knocks

2009-12-18T10:07:00.007-05:00

On Saturday I received an email from my swim coach, Laura Tiedge, asking if I have ever thought of leading a women's trialthon team. Hmmmm that sounds like something that I would be interested in for so many reasons but had never actually thought about for just as many reasons. I replied that I would be interested although I am not the strongest triathlete but I have drive and endurance - I say this because I train with women who are faster, stronger and more physically fit than I am.

Since women's specific skis came out I have really done a lot of thinking about promoting and pushing for women in sports. For so long we have been looked at as tiny men which clearly we are not. I went to see Jeannie Thoren speak about women skiers and our needs - she's REALLY one of the pioneers for women in skiing. She has designed boots that are specific to our feet along with skis that cater to where our center of gravity is - by the way it's in a different spot for us then it is for men...funny huh? After seeing her speak I was even more energized about womens sports. While living in San Francisco I raced in two women's races presented by Nike: the Nike Women's half marathon and the Nike Women's marathon. I cannot explain the feeling of lining up with women for a race that is all about US. There is a buzz that I have not gotten from any other race and I am not just saying that it really is true. I have also been taking women's specific ski clinics for the last 5 years. I have made some fantastic friends at Okemo's WAA WAA program - again there is a bond that is amazing when women can ski like women. When I was in Nor Cal I only skied with guys so I skied like a guy which I loved but once I took my first clinic I was hooked. See there is something about getting the unwaivering support of your peers.

In September I raced with other women for breast cancer research in the Danskin SheRox triathlon. As I said in my race report this was like no other race. There were survivors, mothers and daughters along with women you would most probably not see at a typical triathlon. There is a certain comfort level knowing that you won't get run over by the men (no offense I LOVE racing and training with men along with men in general) who are starting in a wave behind you. When I was talking to Laura about this race, she has done one too, she said that only when women are racing do they say "excuse me" if they bump you on the swim. I personally search out women's races for the reasons above plus it's part of promoting women in sports.

When this idea was put in my head a few questions and thoughts crossed my mind: 1: Could I really do this? Would anyone take me seriously as the leader? 2: Would we be able to get Ray's support (I could not do this without him - he's the heart of the tri team) and 3: I needed to call a fellow tri girl to see what she thought.

I called my friend who went with me to New Jersey to support me for the Danskin Women's Tri - she's one of my closest friends and someone I know will always be honest with me no matter what. She told me that I would be perfect for this kind of thing. I love bringing people together and organizing stuff plus most importantly I LOVE triathlon. We talked about how the team could focus on raising money for women's causes, how it would bring our community even closer by planning races together as a team, we could train together. I say this because although we do train together sometimes it's intimidating to train with the guys - I had a friend tell me last night that she scans the email to see who else is going on the ride since she doesn't want to get left behind, not that it happens on purpose but sometimes it happens. With her positive and kind words I was ready to talk to Laura about the proposition.

Thursday before Endurance Swim training I met with Laura who had discussed this idea with Ray at lunch. He thought that I would be the perfect fit for this position. OK check that off the list. She and I talked about what we thought it would look like if we had a women's tri team but then she tasked me to find out what my fellow women triathletes thought the team would look like. I sent an email this morning to my friends to get their input. The response has been slow and at opposite ends of the spectrum. Some gung ho and others not wanting to leave the co-ed team. I did explain that was not what we wanted to do, we are ALL a team we'd just be a subset of the larger team. Ray would still be our coach and we would show up at the track and open water swims with everyone else...this would be an added bonus. One of the bonuses I explained was our own shirts - in women's sizes that fit us (someone suggested pink but I am not 100% on that HAHA).

The one last piece of the puzzle is - can I really do this? Am I the right woman for the "job"? I would like to think so. Clearly people believe in me and my ability to bring people together, they believe that I would be a good fit and that with their support we can make this team happen. The more I think about this idea and as I reflect on 2009 I really do think that this is something that I not only want to do but that I CAN do. It is important to me to continue to grow as a person and to give back to those who have really helped me realize my potential athletically and personally.

I am putting this out to all of you in the cyberworld...if you were going to create a women's team what would it look like to you?

It Is Almost A New Year....

2009-12-16T12:03:00.010-05:00

So I have decided on a new look for my neglected blog. Funny how time gets away from you and how easy it is to let things that you care about fall to the wayside. That is what has happened to my blog. I am still The Constant Trainer and I am still fighting to let my inner athlete out but for some reason I am doing that a the cost of taking time write.

I guess reflection is the best way to start this out with 2010 just a few short weeks away and the endeavour of my life looming just 8 months or 28 weeks away. 2009 has been a year of change and growth for me not only as an athlete but as a person. I was introduced to so many people and things that have changed me - for the better I hope. As many of you know 2009 was the year that I started to train with Ray Kelly and the Rye Y Tri Club, both things I could not be more thankful for as I know I have mentioned before. I completed four triathlons this past summer and two half marathons. With the crossing of each finish line my life was changed and what was once important to me shifted drastically. I became a Weight Watchers Leader last January after losing 71 pounds. It is an honor to be able to lead members on their weight loss journeys and to be an inspiration to them by showing that if I can do this so can they. At the end of the 2009 tri season I decided that I wanted and needed to push myself the next level by signing up to do a half Ironman distance race - I will be pushing myself to race for 70.3 miles in Michigan this July with two of my friends from the tri club and then again August with the rest of my tri club in New Hampshire. When I cross the finish line in Michigan I will not only be doing it with dear friends and with my family there but I will have done it for Challenged Athletes. Doing things so that others can benefit is one of the areas where I have had a lot of growth in the last 12 months.

I can honestly say that in 2009 I made friends that I will have for the rest of my life, I lost friends who will be dearly missed, I made amends with my ex's because harboring all of that anger and hatred toward them was really getting me nowhere. I dated a man who I thought was the answer to my prayers but it turned out that in the end we were just not right for each other and that it was OK. I learned that being selfish and looking out for myself was actually normal - that sometimes I really do have to come first. I have met people who inspire me to be not only a better person but a stronger and less whiny athlete - George Gallego, Amy Palmeiro-Winters and Sarah Reinersten are Challenged Athletes who it is a privilege to know and race with. This year I walked in the down pouring rain for Breast Cancer Research and I stood in the snow volunteering at the finish line of a race benefiting Prostate Cancer Research - on both days I so didn't want to get out of bed but once I remembered the reason I was doing both of these things I got out of bed...walking in the rain or standing in the snow is easier than fighting cancer any day. Just to be clear before I started to do triathlons or was exposed to any of this I would have rolled over. At the pre-race dinner for the Jarden Westchester Triathlon in September my family and I were introduced to Bob Blais who lost his son John to ALS. My step father was so touched by this man's story as were the rest of us. If I had not met Ray Kelly my eyes and my families eyes would not have been opened to all of these amazing people and their stories.

I am reflecting on all of this because this is also the year that I have realized that I have so much to be thankful for. The decisions that I have made since moving back to NY in 2007 have brought me to this point in my life. We have all been told that everything happens for a reason and until the last year I thought that it was just lip service when people didn't know what else to say. Now I know that it is true...everything really does happen for a reason. I feel as though I moved back to NY to realize my true potential as an athlete (with A LOT of help from Ray, my fellow triathletes, bloggers and friends) along with finding what being truly happy feels like. I am NOT happy every day but I do try to find one thing to smile about each day since there really is so much goodness around me.

Danskin SheROX Triathlon Race Report

2009-09-14T10:58:00.003-04:00

I don't even know what to say other than I LOVED this race. I love that is support breast cancer, that is was all women supporting and cheering each other on and that the course was so nice, oh and flat. I hated that it was in New Jersey, no offense to those of your from there but what's up with the roads/directions out there...holy confusing. This race was the perfect warm up for and confidence boost that I needed two weeks from The Westchester and it's even started me thinking of training for a half iron next year - Angie, my fantastic training partner, has agreed to do one with me so it's looking more and more like reality. Of course we're going to have looking to our amazing coach Ray Kelly to help us get there - I hope you're up for it Ray.

The race was about an hour and a half from my house, well it would have been if the directions were clear and NJ roads make sense, se we left on Saturday afternoon to get to the expo in Sandy Hook. A dear friend went with me for support since my rock star mom was doing The Race for the Cure and was unable to come with (she too had a fantastic race). It was nice to have her company and being a triathlete she totally understood what was going through my mind pre-race along with my nutrition needs etc. We arrived at 2 at the expo and I was overwhelmed by the number of women who were there, there were 1551 entrants and all level of athlete. I picked up my number, got my race shirt, found out I was in Wave 17 with a swim start time of 7:46 am (the race start was 7am), got my body marked and then the shopping spree started. I love those pre-race purchases they make me smile. I bought a timing chip strap, some gels, Sport Beans, new anti-fog race sunglasses, an ankle bracelet with the swim, bike, run people on it from this woman who is a breast cancer survivor and finally I got myself a trialthete necklace along with a 13.1 charm from http://www.triiit.com I knew that I was getting that as it was on the list. Once we were all expo'd out we found our hotel which was so crowded with athletes and wedding guests that it was almost comical. On our way there we passed the mall so guess what the next stop was??? We grabbed a snack at Chipotle, white rice and some black beans and headed over to the mall for a shop 'til you almost drop. Since neither of us is from NJ we had to ask where we could get some good carbs, you know WHITE PASTA, I never eat it except the night before a race which is a treat. The nice lady at the Disney Store recommended we head over to Red Bank where they had a town and good food. Off we went. She was right, we found a cute Italian place where I was able to get angel hair pasta with shrimp and tons of bread, another pre-race treat. We finally got back to our hotel around 9:30, so much for going to be at 8 haha. I got all my numbers properly placed, one on Trixie (my tri bike), one on my helmet and finally on my race belt. Off to bed as the wake up call was coming in at 5am.

It's RACE DAY!! I love races no matter what the race is, there is just something about waking up and getting out there that makes me happy. I was amazingly relaxed considering this was only mu 3rd tri but I felt pretty confident about it. Must be something about training with the Rye Tri Club and Ray that has really helped plus knowing that it was a flat course probably helped considering the Westchester course is anything but...Since I was in a hotel I was not sure that I would be able to have my usual pre-race breakfast of a bagel, fried egg and cheese so I packed a bagel, banana and PB. That was perfect of course next race I will eat a white bagel as oppposed to a whole wheat one but live and learn. It was time to go....as I said I was really relaxed about this race so relaxed that I failed to get directions to the race site and decided that since I saw the exit on our way we would just go back that way until we got to the stop light and saw cars with bikes going the other way. PANIC set it...so after a bit of a ride on the Garden State Parkway I decided to turn around and follow the rest of the traffic. Thank goodness for Blackberrys since that helped us get to the race site. Since I was running later than I wanted we parked a bit further than I thought we would so I rode my bike with my transition bag on my back to the transition area, my friend kindly carried my wetsuit since that would have been quite a trick plus I had until 7:46 to get it on. When I arrived at the transition area I was amazed at how disorganized it was. It was a first come first served area which was fine except that people had their stuff ALL OVER THE PLACE. I found my row and some space to set up. I had laid out all my stuff as I had been taught, grabbed my Body Glide and went to get my wetsuit on. This was seriously the most relaxed I have ever been at a race, have I mentioned that already? As I was getting my wetsuit on we were attacked my mosquitos, they were biting through my clothes and my poor friend was going to have to stand out there for the entire race. I gave her my sweatpants to cover her legs...it was the least I could do. So we are standing watching the swimmers take off and I see some green caps go off.....YIKES did I miss my wave even though they said 7:46??? Remember how relaxed I have been well that came to a quick halt. I said good-bye to my friend and ran as fast as I could to the beach. Some guy smacked into me on my way and I thought that I would fall but adrenaline was pumping so I kept on going, didn't even look back. Apparently there were 3 waves of green caps so I had about 20 minutes to stand around. PHEW....back to being relaxed. The swim course looked really nice actually. I was standing on the beach with first timers who were chatting about the water and how they were so nervous...been there done that.

It was time for us to stand in the water just before our start. The funny thing about womens races is that they are very "girly", the announcer tells everyone standing in the water to turn around and blow kisses to the waves still on the beach....UMMM NO. I wanted to get started already as I could not wait to get on my bike for that FLAT out and back 11 miles. The countdown started and off we went....I had a fantastic swim. I had rhythm and my spotting out and back was dead on. I have to take a minute to thank my friend Chad for this. We had talked about my poor spotting and he suggested that every forth right stroke I spot. Thank you Chad it worked like a dream. I also used the technique for getting around the buoys taht we were taught during an open water swim clinic. When I made the turn back to the beach I knew that I was fast so I pushed it a bit on the way back. I finished the 1/2 mile in 14:25 and 236th overall out of the 1551 participants. The distance from the swim to T1 was ridiculous and fully of small pebbles. I ran the 1/4 mile barefoot as fast as I could, basically pulling down my wetsuit the entire way. My T1 time was 5:47, not too bad considering the run to get there.

I was so happy to get my bike gear on and pull Trixie off the rack and to be on my way. The bike course was an out and back 11 mile flat course. Seriously after doing the 4 rides on the Westchester course this was going to be a real treat. It was along the inlet where the swim was and it was beautiful, flat and fast. I spent most of the ride in the left lane passing people as I wanted to push myself since this was the perfect chance to do it. The turn around at mile 5.5 was a hairpin and I almost fell over but I held it together and headed toward the home stretch. I had a Clif Shot with caffeine, almost a full water bottle full of Gatorade and pedaled as fast and as hard as I could, OK I probably could have pushed a bit harder but since my bike computer was not working I didn't want to totally burn myself out as my bike/run transition is always painful with heavy legs. I was just trying to be consistent for the full ride. Luckily the clock on my computer was working although I didn't believe it since it was showing that I was out there for less than the 40 minutes I had predicted. As I have a problem getting the run started after the bike but again Chad gave me an idea, he said spin it out at the very end to get the lactate moving around, that's just what I did. It helped...thanks again Chad. The 11 mile ride took me 33:16 with an average speed of 19.8 and left me at 252 overall, still not too bad. My T2 time was 1:52.

Off to run....legs not feeling too bad but I did have some tightness in my right calf which I stopped to stretch. The run was a quick two loop 3.1 miles. Running is clearly my weakness. I am battling a knee injury so I rarely run outside since my ortho highly discourages it so that transition from treadmill to pavement is always hard. It was sunny and hot at this point too. I was distracting myself by planning my next tattoo, what it was going to be and where (it will be on my ankle & the swim, bike, run images). There was a woman on the course who was 66 and doing her 5th triathlon with her daughter, there were breast cancer survivors and people who were racing in memory of people they have loved and lost. What a great feeling to be racing with people like this. I have to saw my run was unremarkable....I did a 30:32 so about a 10:12 mile and dropped back to 982 overall - YIKES!!! BUT I will say this for myself, I could not run one lap around the Rye High School track when I went there so doing a 10:12 mile after swimming and biking is something to be proud of. I finished with a smile on my face knowing that I am truly an athlete.

My final time was 1:25:58, 431st out of a field of 1551 women and 88th in my age out of 236 women. To say that I am on a high would be an understatement. I still have pep in my step today and I am ready for the challenge of the Westchester and whatever next year holds. I did have to call Ray on the way home to read him the stats because without him I never would have had the confidence to get to any triathlon swim start let alone any finish. I am doing the Danskin SheROX again next year and I am calling all my tri girls to come with....it's a great cause and a fanstastic way to spend a Sunday morning.

Threads & Treads Greenwich Cup Triathlon

2009-08-03T16:31:00.003-04:00

Sunday was my second of four triathlons of the summer season - I am going to have three Sprints and one Olympic distance races under my belt by the end of September. The week before this race was one filled with sadness and loss for the people around me. My friend Courtney lost her mom to cancer on Tuesday, that funeral was Saturday, my friend Tammy is losing her 9 year old cousin in Texas to an aneurism (he was in an induced coma and was taken off of life support on Friday), then late on Thursday night my mom called to tell me that a family friend lost her battle with cancer and that the funeral was to be on Sunday at 10. Not exactly the pre-race week I was hoping for since I am lot more nervous about triathlon then I ever have been about half marathons - I had a hard time focusing on racing with all that was going on around me but I showed up and I finished.

The start of the race was called for 6:30am so I knew that it was going to be an early and long day, I had the race followed immediately by a funeral. My mom and I had decided that she was not going to be able to make the race since she did not want to be rushed or stressed about getting to the service on time, she also was not sure if our friend Holly would need help. I knew this on Friday so I kindly reminded my friend Kevin who I have blogged about before to make sure he would be there. I still feel like I need to have people there to support me. He was happy to do it and I also learned that my coach would be there along with many members of my tri team. There is a very special feeling knowing that I am part of such a fantastic team of people and athletes.

Sunday started at 4am with my usual pre-race breakfast - bagel, 1 fried egg and a slice of cheese. I checked my transition gear one last time, loaded the Kestrel onto the car and was on my way by 4:55. I spoke to Ray on Saturday and he had said to get there around 5:30 to get settled etc. Good idea as my transition area was way at the end, good for the run out but not so hot for the bike out - please I am nowhere near able to complain but still. :-) I arrived and immediately found some tri club members - we're easy to spot as we all wear our Rye Y Tri Club shirts - it's an honor for me to wear one. Off to my transition area to lay out my gear as Ray has taught me. There is something so calming about that for me, not sure what but I actually like setting up my stuff so that it's just right when I get back into the transition area.

Around 6:15 I start to lube up, not a sexual thing, my body with Body Glide to prevent chafing on my neck and to provide a little assistance in getting the wetsuit off after the swim. My last T1 time was almost 5 minutes so being slippery may help reduce that time...OK that AND not freaking out about the worm I stepped on. I headed down to the beach with Kevin, he made it and I was so happy to see him. He's a 51 year old MACHINE. I could do an entire blog post about his amazing races. Funny when I first met him I wasn't sure he even liked me but these last few months he has turned into a true friend and cheerleader....he's irreplaceable. Kevin and Ray were ahead of me as I stopped to small talk with another team member but I caught up to them at the waters edge. Around 6:30 the Elite men and 29 and under men were off....let's just say the elites were on their way back from the 1/2 mile loop before I even started. The swim was OK. The swim out seems to be a lot harder than the swim back and there were times I had to do the breast stroke as my arms were tired. Note to self....work your shoulders a bit more before the Oly tri. I was passed by people but I followed the direction that Ray had given us on Thursday - swim in the bubbles of the person in front of you as it will save you energy. OK I can do that...well kind of. Anyway I was done with the swim which always makes me smile because I know that I am 1/3 of the way through. On my way out I heard Kevin and Ray on the beach screaming my name, what a great feeling. I was struggling to get my goggles off as they had gotten tangled in my hair somehow. At the exit of the beach were Angie and Caryn...also yelling for me to go and to tell me how great I was doing.

The entrance into the transition area had a person with a hose and a baby pool to rinse the sand from our feet. Ahhhhh. Ran to my bike and transitioned as fast as I could, there were not clocks and in my hectic week I had forgotten my Garmin. Off I was on the hot red and black tri bike...thanks Courtney. I am still not 100% on those clip in pedals but I will say that I hit speeds of 25 mph on the flats. What an amazing feeling...oh yeah it started to rain at the start of the bike for me. I had never in all my races ever raced in the rain and here I was not only in the rain but on a bike. I did take the corners slow as I was not sure what the surface was going to be like and I did see a biker go down...my worst fear as the cement is so unforgiving. I rode 99% of the hills with Ray's voice in my head "and again, and again" that is what he was telling me when we did the Westchester Tri course a few weeks ago. He said it every time I needed to switch to an easier gear to get up the hills. I freaked out on the last and biggest hill so I walked it...no shame in that I just had to get to the top. My teammate Claudia caught up to me and we rode the last four miles or so together, what a treat for me as I wanted to keep up with her and she's zippy. Finally the transition area was in sight and all that was left was to run....

Ummmmm that's where the story gets not so pretty and I know that my bike/run transition needs work. Not the changing of my shoes but actually going from riding my bike to running. My legs are so heavy and I have a hard time catching my breath at first. This run was on the grass, on what I think was a cross country course and it ended ON THE BEACH IN THE SAND. I ran for a bit with Claudia but didn't want to hold her up so I told her to go ahead, she was kindly waiting for me at the finish with the rest of my team and Ray. So I took the run slow as I was not used to running on that kind of surface, well in reality I took it slow because I am not really a runner. I did enjoy the beauty of Long Island Sound and the bird sanctuary as I made my way to the finish. Just before my final turn onto the beach I ran into a pack of Canadian Geese now unlike the Canadians the geese are NOT nice...so I gave them a lot of room so that they wouldn't think I was going to harm them. That would be the last thing that I needed did I mention that it was STILL raining. As I came on to the beach I heard Ray and the rest of the team yelling my name. It took every ounce of energy I had to make it to the finish. That sand is a deadly - that's the only way to describe it. I crossed and the clock said 2:13:52. My actual time was 2:01:52 - not too bad considering the weather, the longer course and the week that I had. I hung around for a few minutes to get some pics with everyone but then I had to run it was 9am and I had to be showered, dressed and looking somewhat presentable at 10...I live about 30 minutes from the race and there was traffic - of course.

I know that without the support of Ray, Kevin and the rest of the Rye Tri Club I never would have made it to the start of any of these races. Knowing that I have their support to the very end really makes all the difference.

July 8th

2009-07-07T13:13:00.002-04:00

In life we all have hard days or days that remind us of something awful that happened. We all know of major public ones like September 11 but there are also some very personal ones. For me July 8th is one of those days - it is the day that my beloved grandmother, Lillian Evelyn Machlin, died. I think about her every day as her picture is on my fridge and next to my bed plus being the only girl of the grandchildren I inherited all of her jewelry but I think of her in terms of who I am today and what role she played in that.

Let's start off with April 26th 1972, the day I was born and my grandmother said to my parents "how could two such beautiful people have such an ugly baby?". Yes that is exactly what she said and something that she apologized for many times as I was growing up. When I was two my parents got divorced and my mom had to work full time to take care of me and herself so my grandmother was my primary care giver. She worked too but she was always there for me. In fact she lied on her resume so that she could get her job at Pepsi in Purchase. My grandfather died when she was still young and although she never finished high school she was a math wiz plus she was so charming how could they have resisted her?!? I remember going there and just thinking that it was the coolest place ever since you got free soda, we did not have that in my house growing up. They had a picnic there every summer and she would bring all of her grandchildren to show us off. When she retired they were understandably sad to see her go and her boss only said that nicest stuff about her.

She was a world traveler. She went to Russia when it was still a communist country and I can remember her telling me the story of how they almost arrested her in the lobby of her hotel for taking an ashtray from the room. Can you imagine? She went to Israel, China, Hungary and on countless cruises. She took me to Florida for a trip or two also. My mom took her to Hawaii and she made it to all six college graduations (I have five cousins). The amazing thing about her was that she had Lupus and a braintumor yet none of this stopped her from enjoying life to the fullest. She was savvy with the stockmarket and since she had a pension from Pepsi she was able to do most of what she wanted to. She would always make me laugh when she would come back from a trip with one of her friends as this one snored or this one took the tips off the tables yet they were so important to her.

She lived across the street from me until Thanksgiving of 6th grade. She was my go to gal. She was my main babysitter and would spend every Wednesday night with me when my mom and step dad were racing their sailboat. If I had a fight with my mom I would "run away" to her house where she would have a bagel, cream cheese and tomato or lamb chops waiting for me when I arrived. She would sit me at the tv table while she called my mom from the other room to let her know that I had crossed the street safely and she would send me home soon. Moving away from her was really hard on both of us at the time it seemed like she was so far away, even though it's less than 10 miles. We would spend every Jewish holiday with her and I can remember telling her that I didn't eat red meat when she tried to serve it to me and her response was "it's not meat it's pot roast"...she didn't get it. She made the best matzoh muffins at Passover and her fried potatoes have never been duplicated (Sorry Riva). She died with her actual chicken soup recipe which is sad because when I ate chicken it was a favorite of mine.

I will always remember the joy in her voice when I would call and I know that she had the same joy when any of her grandchildren would call. The first thing she would say was "I was just thinking about you" and the truth is that she probably was but she always wanted us to know how much we meant to her. She would slip us all money from time to time and it always came with the quote "please don't use this on drugs". She wanted us to have stuff that we may not get our parents to buy for us. Of course since I spent so much time with her she got to live through a lot of fun stuff with me...I slammed my pinky in her car door one night, I broke my arm while doing cartwheels in the lobby of my building, and I even fell off my horse at a horse show all while she was there alone with me. She had to follow the ambulance to the hospital and get in touch with my parents. I cannot imagine what was going through her head all those times.

Lil would pick me up every day after school to make sure that I could get to the barn to ride my horse. She knew how important it was to me. I was not always nice to her as I was a teenager and she was a slow driver but she knew no matter what I loved her so deeply. When I went away to college I called her every day...I mean every day. Not a day went by that I did not hear her voice. I would call her drunk and blabber on and on she would just laugh and say please don't drive. I am thankful that she made it to my college graduation. There were so many times that she was in the hospital because of the lupus that we were not sure and she would look at me and say "I am not ready"...I knew that she wasn't but I would curl up in her hospital bed with her for both of our comforts.

I will never forget the day that I got the call that she had died. We had had terrible thunderstorms and I was fighting with my asshole ex boyfriend. I had gotten home from work and got the call from my mom...I thought that my world was collapsing in on me. My aunt had tried to call her any number of times that day and when in the evening she didn't answer Riva went over to her house. We had taken her car away after the implanted a pace maker as it was safer for her not to be driving, that nearly devastated her but she dealt with the bus that took her from place to place. I did not see my family until the next day as it was late in the evening and my mom did not want me driving. I was the only one who spoke at her funeral and I shared some of the same stories with her family and friends. I miss her every day and I am also eternally grateful to have had her for as long as I did. She was more than my grandmother, she was one of my best friends and biggest cheerleaders. If I am ever blessed with a daughter she will surely be named Lily for this amazing woman who helped to shape me into the woman I am today.

Sleepy Hollow Triathlon Race Report

2009-06-29T20:35:00.004-04:00

So as promised I am back to blogging and what better way to come back then with a race report from my first triathlon. The pictures are posted on Facebook as it is easier to upload them there since I don't have to move a whole bunch of paragraphs around.

Race prep started last September when I took the Swim with Flow class at the Rye Y. I took that class so that I would be more efficient and have an easier time transitioning into tri training once February came. I have been taking triathlon training classes two nights a week since February with Ray Kelly, who I blogged about on Thursday, and the rest of the Rye Y Tri Team. Yup there is an entire team of us who come from the same gym and the same amazing coach. When I started I was so nervous and I knew nobody in the class and nothing except what I had read about triathlon. This class taught me not only about the sport and racing but how strong and athletic I really am. The spin classes would push us to the brink, the running was always slow (it's not my favorite) and the swim was just fun since I was always in the lane with the same amazing people: Sarah and Claudia. Ray had us run the high school track for our speed work, something I hated and still do although I understand the need for it. At the end of the first session we did a mini triathlon as a group and then we went out to celebrate, he's actually taking us all out again on Thursday to celebrate us once again.

So let's get to the good stuff....THE RACE. Race "prep" started on Saturday night with my mom making a carbo load dinner which she, Scott and I enjoyed. Nothing better than homemade shrimp and pasta to fill your belly. I had asked Scott to bring up some of his many movies since there was no going out to play pre-race plus I really needed something to take my mind off of the anxiety I was feeling about Sunday morning. I had everything for my transition area laid out on the living room floor, it was all based off of the list that Ray had given us at the clinic I had gone to a few weeks before. When we got home from my mom's I went through the list one last time, packed the bag , planned for the 100th time what time I was getting up and what the morning fuel would be. I did text with my friends about if we were going to wear underwear or not since even though we have wetsuits on we are still wet and underwear has some lovely chafing qualities: the going commando decision was made. I will admit that I took and over the counter sleep aid to make sure that I would get a full night's sleep, I didn't want to risk tossing and turning. Scott and I started to watch the movie and I can honestly say that I saw maybe the first ten minutes of it before I was dozing on the couch. I was getting up at 5 to be at the race by 6:30 and he was getting up at 6 so that he and my mom could be there at 7:45. When the alarm went off at 5 I WAS READY!

The day before I had sent my friend Kevin, who I also blogged about last time, an email thanking him for helping get me prepared for this race. I keep his response in my transition area bag because it contains some of the most important words "YOU ARE PREPARED". I re-read that email at least twice that morning. I made my typical pre-race breakfast of a bagel, fried egg and cheese. It was delicious :-) I was ready to go on schedule 5:45. I loaded my bag and bike onto/into the car and off I went. It seemed like the longest ride ever with thoughts of the unknown dancing around in my head. I was sipping on my G2 and singing to the best Dave Matthews Band album ever when I arrived at the GM parking lot. My friend Hessy, who I have known since I was 13, was also doing the race and we were planning on meeting at registration. She beat me there by a few minutes and was waiting for her relay team to get ready. There is one thing that I will say about triathletes...they are nice people. Everyone in the parking lot says good morning and we were all chatting about what a fantastic dayit was for racing(remember we've had more rain than sun this summer). I walk my gorgeous tri bike and bag over to the registration area where they check my USAT membership, give me my numbers, goodie bag and shirt. From there I headed over to body marking where I ran into some of my Rye Y teammates. There is nothing like having your race number and age, yes your age, written on your body with a Sharpie. Off to set up my transition area.

This was a bit confusing because the numbers were on both sides of the pole and at first I thought that I was lost. So I found my "slip" #114 where I proceeded to hang my bike as Ray showed me and set up my bike/run transition towel. As I was prepping more of my Rye Y friends showed up and we were all chatting about what the right way to do stuff was...there is no real right way as long as you don't take up too much room. Right across from me was Kevin, I was convinced that was done on purpose so that I could torture him for a few extra moments. I set up my area as instructed, put my number on my bike, helmet and race belt. 45 minutes until the swim...this was really happening. Mary, Shalini and I decide that it's time to lube up with the Body Glide, so NOT a sexual thing, and attempt to get the leg parts of our wetsuits on. Now that was something to see,we were all cracking up as we pulled on suits that resemble catwoman. Once I finally got my lower half on one of my Weight Watchers members showed up, I knew she was coming as she emailed me to tell me that she was bringing her kids out. Sadly they didn't even get to see the start as the kids got cranky but she woke up and brought them out in hopes of seeing me race. While I was standing there talking to her my mom and Scott showed up. My mom was volunteering at the finish line because she's an amazing mom and he was there just to support me....he's a good man, one I am thankful for everyday: ex or not.

While I was talking to all of them and trying to show them where to stand to see the swim my step-dad Dave showed up. This was HUGE since he rarely does stuff like this but he has been one of my biggest cheerleaders. I only got to see him for one second since I was due to hit the water in 10 minutes. YES IT WAS TIME. I donned the rest of my wetsuit and my orange swimcap for my wave of swimmers. My friend Jen, who came in 2nd in our age group, and I walked down to the water together. Ray was announcing all of the Rye Tri members so he called our names and then yelled that my mom was there and was asking where she was. It was cute.

The walk to the water was awful as the beach and I use the term loosely was all rocks. We all hobbled down there to await the instructions and for our waves to start. The current was against us for the start and when we made the turn homeward bound the current would be helpful. I was in the third wave, so once the second wave took off we all hobbled, literally, out to the swim start. None of us could see the rocks that ended up cutting my toes. 3,2,1 GO....off we went. I had a panic attack for the first few minutes which was not helped at all by my friend Jen punching me in the eye by accident of course. I ended up doing the breast stroke for a good part of the swim out, it was impossible to get my breath and fight the current. Once I made the turn toward home I was a bit more relaxed...clearly I need some work on my open water swim skills. As I finished my first half mile of the race I could not help but smile: I was really doing this. The rocks on the way out of the water were just as bad as on the way in. I did stay in the water as long as possible and I was half out of my wetsuit by the time I climbed the steps back to the transition area.

I was a bit wobbly when I got out of the water as I had been told I would be. Thank goodness my area was so well organized it did not take me too long to get my suit fully off and my bike gear on. Off I went, helmet clipped and a kiss from Ray on my way out of the transition area. The 10 mile ride was awesome! I did walk up the two biggest hills as I knew that I would but I hauled ass for the rest of it. The ONLY reason I was able to do any of this ride was because of Kevin's amazing spin classes. I actually passed people on the longer hills. Cyndi gave me a mantra that I used when the course got tough "Push the mind and the body will follow". That's exactly what I did. My favorite thing was saying "on your left" as I zipped by. Whenever someone from the team went by we would nod or wave, what a great feeling to know that people were pulling for you out on the course. My childhood neighbor was voluteering on the bike course so I got to see him twice as was Phil who subbed for Kevin one night in spin. He recently lost his sister to ALS and there is a hill named for her on the bike course for the Westchester Triathlon that I will be doing in late September. As I made the final turn back into the park all I kept thinking was "don't forget to unclip BEFORE you stop"...yeah those pedals are deadly. As I pulled in, unclipped, I saw Scott with the camera waiting, sadly none of those came out but it was nice to see a familiar, friendly face and I was done with the bike.

It did not take long to get my bike shoes off and my running shoes on. As I was leaving the transition area I saw Dave waiting for me. It was amazing to have him there and I am honored that this was so important to him. The run SUCKED. It was the hardest and slowest 5K I have ever done. I know for sure that I need to work on the bike/run transition before the next race on August 2nd. It was a pretty run for the most part since it was along the Hudson River and we actually ran around a lighthouse...that's where the beauty ended as we headed out through the parking lot and up this awful hill. It was sunny and so HOT at that point. I could not wait for this dreaded run to be over. I grabbed my water at the top of the hill and ran all the way down. As I turned back into the parking lot I could head them announcing finishers and then it hit me - I am going to finish this race. The final leg of the race was back into the park where they radioed in your number so they could announce your name. I heard my name and as I looked into the finishers shoot I saw a group of my teammates waiting there to give me hi-fives and give me that last bit of encouragement. My mom said that in the pics my step dad took I have a pained look on my face, I don't doubt that as I was hot, tired and FINISHED. As I crossed the finish line I smiled and looked at the clock...1:49. My goal was sub two hours and it seemed as though I did it. My mom was there with the medal to put it around my neck and she teared up as she did it. I got a huge hug from her and off I went to find Scott and my step dad.

It was truly one of the most fulfilling days of my life. I hugged Ray and my teammates, I could never have done this without them. I was prepared because they cared enough to share their wisdom with me. My final time was 1:43:26....not bad for a first timer. August 2nd is the next race in Greenwich CT.

Thank you all for rooting me on and for always encouraging me. Check Facebook for the pictures.

Remember Me?

2009-06-25T09:19:00.006-04:00

I'M BAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK....I know I know you've heard that before but I have been getting A LOT of peer pressure to do a pre-race update on my beloved blog. I am friends with many of you on Facebook but they only give us a limited amount of space to give updates. So much has happened since February I cannot even begin to tell you plus who wants all those details?

As you all know I have been training for my first triathlon season after completing two half marathons this spring. I did the HOTTEST run in Nashville where I actually PR'd heat aside and ALMOST got to meet SuperDave. Then I had the honor of crossing the finish line with Cyndi. She's an amazing athelete and woman. I had the best time ever in the city of Rock n' Roll with her and her entire family. I also had an amazing but way too short relationship with a man I am still very close to. It was something that I truly needed and although it is over I am more aware than ever of my value, beauty, kindness and even of the changes my body has made the last few months, things that I have always struggled with. Weight Watchers is still going strong. I am there every Saturday morning hoping to inspire my members with my stories of struggle and triumph.

So let's get to the present...Sunday is my first of four triathlons for this season. I will be doing the Sleepy Hollow Sprint Triathlon which is about 30 minutes from house. I get to swim in the mightly Hudson River, thank goodness for wetsuits is all I have to say. My coach from the Rye Y Ray Kelly is the Race Director and he's put together a first class event for sure. He is an amazing and inspiring man and I highly suggest you check out his site. I have met and trained with some of the most amazing athletes the last few months. Kevin who taught our incredibly challenging but always fun spin classes completed a 50 mile mountain run in May. He and Ray have done countless IronMan Tris and yet with all of that under their belts they happily support and train beginners like me. This is just another example of how special true athletes are.

Through the Rye Y and Ray I had a chance to participate in a Challenge Athletes Foundation Spin-a-Thon. What an experience! I met athletes who lost parts of their bodies or had no use of their legs yet they have overcome those "challenges" and have become IronMan finishers and even 50 mile mountain runners. I know that I have written about this before and how awed I am by these people at every race I go to but to be on a spin bike next to someone who lost part of their arm in Iraq or a woman who had her whole left leg amputated as a child (she's an IronMan finisher) is really something else.

Sunday is a big day for me. My mom is volunteering at the finish line where (hopefully) she'll be able to put the medal around my neck as I become a true triathlete, my step-dad Dave will be there with Scott, my ex, to cheer me on through the transitions and at the finish. I have never been this nervous for a race yet I am also so excited I can hardly stand it. I PROMISE to be back here more often as I really do love writing this blog and reading all of your blogs.

It's good to be back! Shosh

Danskin Bike Shorts Make You Spin Faster

2009-02-13T08:50:00.006-05:00

OK they don't but they are really amazing. I wore my new shorts courtesy of Danskin last night tri training. We do spinning every Tuesday and Thursday for at least 40 minutes. I am not sure how many of you have done a spin class but as I said before I "found" muscles in places I did not know existed. I know that it was in part because I was doing a completely new workout and in part because I was wearing every day shorts on a bike with a tiny seat...did I say tiny I mean minuscule. Almost everyone else in the class has the fancy bike shorts and after riding in them last night I can see why.

Here they are in all their glory on my lovely couch. :-) You'll notice they are all black with a large padded crotch. I have to say that I saw how big it was it made me kind of nervous, that along with the elastic legs since we all know anyone with an ounce of leg fat typically shys away from that look. In this case they are a perfect fit with nothing to be afraid of. I tried my shorts on before I left for class to kind of get a feel of what it was going to be like once I arrived at the Y and got ready to board my spin bike. I ride the same bike every week next to my new friend Emily and right next to the fan. Hey I am no dummy it's freaking hot in that room. On the "test drive" at my house I was getting used to having a pad covering my nether regions which as comfortable as they are does take a bit of getting used to.

I arrive at the gym with my new cycling shoes with real clips...ah yes I am slowly evolving into a triathlete in training and my Danskin tri shorts. In the ladies locker room we were all chatting about our shorts and the elastic legs and how we really hate people without any leg fat, well we don't really hate them but maybe we're jealous of them. Anyway, I was showing everyone the shorts and explaining how comfortable they were but most importantly I was telling everyone who much I was looking forward to having some padding on previously mentioned minuscule seat.

What a different workout I had last night. I had zero pain in my crotch and butt. The padding was amazing and it made sitting on the bike comfortable. That is not a word that I would ever use to describe sitting on that bike seat but I can honestly say I was comfortable. They did take a second to get used to once I started working out because I kept glancing down at my legs but they actually looked strong rather than flabby. It is about a hundred degrees in that room and I actually noticed that there was very little sweat if any on my legs. They shorts kept me "dry" and I was not slipping on the seat as I once did because of that.

I woke up this morning without the same pain or aching that I have had after the last few classes. These shorts are comfortable and they fit great! I am in a medium or 8-10, if this training keeps up at this pace I will be in a small soon enough. I love that they have a drawstring so that I can adjust the waist depending on how I am feeling that day, soooo very important. They have enough padding to make all the difference. I like that the legs did not ride up as I was spinning at a high cadence. They are light weight and comfortable which is a plus and they made me feel sleek and fast...actually like a real athlete. The pocket in the back is perfect for fitting a gel or lip balm, both really important on longer, outdoor rides.

They may not make me actually faster but they do give me feeling of support. Below is a picture of the gorgeous race top that I will be reporting on shortly. It is so pretty and white that I am almost afraid to wear it. I wanted it to stay pristine as long as possible.

Thank you to Jessica and Danskin for giving me the chance to wear and blog about your fantastic tri clothes.

Tuesday Babble

2009-02-10T07:41:00.002-05:00

Happy Tuesday everyone. I have once again been out living and truly missing my blogger friends. It's amazing how a single girl with no kids actually has so little time to myself, I am sending out HUGE kudos to all of you who are married and even biggers ones to those of you with children who still have time to blog. Between working two jobs and training two nights a week until 10pm I am finding that I have less and less time for me. So here is the quick and dirty of what's going on in the hecetic world of Shosh.

I have been working with my Weight Watchers Leader Mentor for the last two weeks and this Saturday, Valentine's Day is my final meeting with her before I am released on the unsuspecting WW members. :-) I am doing a back to back meeting with her, the first one I just have to do the celebrations portion and the motivational close for the second one I am leading the entire meeting including the Getting Started Session....anyone going to be in the NY area? My mentor and my trainer will both be there for that to help fine tune my leader skills. Last night I prepared all of my flip charts that I am going to use in the Saturday meeting and for the two Sunday meetings where I am flying solo, no mentor no trainer. I have been doing receptionist work at that meeting so at least the people are familiar with me and I am not a complete stranger walking into their meeting. Their real leader is out on maternity leave so when she gets back I get my Sundays back but for now I am all about WW. I also picked up an At Work meeting on Monday nights. I figured why not...it's just another chance for me to spread the word and wisdom of Weight Watchers.

Part of being a leader is telling the members what WW has given me...I cannot even put into words what this program has given me. It has given me energy, it has given me more self esteem than I could imagine (without that I could not get up in front of the room to inspire people), I have control over my life like I have never had, I can see myself for who I really am and I can look in the mirror every day and pick out something that I love about myself. This morning it was how my waist looked in my Size 8 pants.

So on top of all of the WW work I am doing I have also started training with the coach/class for the upcoming triathlon season. I have done two classes and I can honestly say that I have already pushed myself harder than I ever thought that I could. The first night we did a lot of swim drills which are so important to be a stronger swimmer. The second night we did a spin class and spent an hour in the pools, I was once again doing drills this Thursday I move to the swimmers lanes YIKES! That spin class kicked my butt. I discovered muscles I did not know even existed. For the next class I will have my Danskin tri shorts. I met a wonderful woman at WW leader training, Jessica, she works for Danskin and is giving me lots of fun tri clothes to test out and blog about. Come back soon for the full report on those amazing clothes.

I took a few big steps this week...I joined the USAT (USA Triathlon) and I signed up for a sprint tri the Danskin SheROX Sprint in Sandy Hook New Jersey. Can you tell that I am loyal to brands that are good to me?

My running and training for the two half marathons I am doing this spring is really moving along. I can run 6 miles without walking now. I am not fast but I am happy to be doing especially when I think that I could not run a mile 20 years ago when you're supposed to be your fittest. I cannot wait to see Cyndi in May for her first half marathon finish. My mom is getting ready for Nashville and we're anxiously waiting for the weather to be warm enough to get her out there for some longer distances.

Tonight is a spin/abs/run night with the coach....he wants to see if we have any abs. I can answer that question for him without the test but I think he's requiring us to do the work out LOL.

I hope that everyone is doing well and I am going to catch up on all my blogger friends this week...

I Am Starting the Next Chapter...

2009-01-28T16:24:00.003-05:00

In my life. I have been gone for about 2 weeks between skiing and Weight Watchers Leader training. It's amazing to me how fast time is flying...Sunday it is already February. I have been out living and learning A LOT but it does not make me feel any less bad about slacking on this blog. So here is the Reader's Digest version.

I LOVED BLS AKA Basic Leader Skills training. I spent 4 days with some of the most amazing and inspirational people. There were 14 women and 1 very brave man. We were mostly from this area with the exception of Dora from Boston and Jane from PA. Some lost 20 pounds and some lost 120 pounds but we all took a journey to make it to our goals. It was intense and I have to say that I learned a lot about myself and a lot about other people. I am 100% that Weight Watchers is one of the most amazing organizations out there. We not only support each other but the support we give our members is really unsurpassed. I am proud to be an apprentice leader...soon to be a leader with my own meeting and members. This Saturday I start with my mentor and in about 3 weeks I will be released onto the unsuspecting public to help them on their journey. I could not be more proud or excited.

I explained to my Territory Manager and my trainer how this all feels to me...when you're the fat kid nobody picks you for their team and things are just harder for you...they picked me because I was the fat kid. That "tag" no longer fits but the feeling of being chosen to be part of the team is one that I will not soon forget. I have an extra spring in my step and a totally different outlook on the path that is ahead of me. Anytime your in NY please feel free to stop in.

The next bit of news is that this Tuesday February 2 I start the following training:

Have you always dreamed about entering a triathlon? Train with us this winter and be race-ready for the \spring/Summer outdoor triathlon season. You will be working with swim coaches, ciclyn instructors and a strenght/endurance trainer in a structured setting. You will also explore the sports psychology of these swim-bike run races that are becoming increasingly popular. We strongly recommend that you train for two 9-week sessions. The Rye YMCA Triathlon Club is an official club of the USAT. All members are recommended to be members of USAT if they are planning to race in 2009.

Yup it's official...I am training for a triathlon in 2009. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this: scared, nervous, so excited and looking forward to the challenge. I keep wondering who else will be in the class and will they like me. HAHA no matter how old we get that is still a "fear" we have. Based on my last class experience at the Rye Y I think that this will be a positive growth experience for me. I will be around like minded people training toward a common goal, to finish a triathlon. WOW that word was not even part of my vocabulary at this time last year, except when Michelle would mention it. It was not even on my radar as something to consider. I am ready for this and I think that by stepping out of what is comfortable for me I am just expanding my own potential for a happy life.

I will give you an update on my first WW meeting this Saturday and on the first day of class next. Thank you all for your support and kind words...you really help to keep me going. This quote struck me and I want to share with all of you since it seems as if we're all training for something these days.

"Endurance is on of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory come."
-Buddha

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T09:54:00.003-05:00

No matter who you voted for you have to be a proud American today. The United States of America finally came together to change the face of our government and our great country. I will be in front of the TV from 11:30 on to watch this momentous event. Good thing I work for DIRECTV so we have TV's all over the office.

OK enough politics for today. I am so happy that we had an extra day off this week, I was in need of it. Things here ahve been so hectic for some reason and I have hardly had time to catch my breath between DIRECTV, Weight Watchers and trying to squeeze in my long runs. I did do 5 miles on Thursday before work without an walk breaks. I was ready for a nao around 11 but pushed through to the end of the day. This is seriously a great time in my life, for some reason things just seem to be working out for me. I am really thankful for all the good things in my life and for the amazing things that have happened to me in the last year or so.

I spent the last 3 days in Vermont with some friends of my family. They recently moved their lives to South Londonderry from Westchester, where I live. Being that I will have no free weekends after this coming up weekend I called Kathy and Irwin to see if they would like to ski with me over the Martin Luther King holiday. They graciously invited me to their house for all 3 days of the weekend. It was awesome!! I love Vermont and if I ever get a chance to retire I am moving there and skiing every day in the winter. I arrived super late on Friday after a 4 hour drive on the scariest road ever, it was a 2 lane road with no street lights with farms on either side...every horror movie I have ever seen was playing over and over in my head. On top of the darkness it was NEGATIVE 6 degrees outside which caused some panic of how long I would live if the car broke down and I had to walk up the road.....that is if the ax murdered I created in my head did not get me first. Needless to say I arrived at their house without incident.

We had not planned on skiing on Saturday because it was sooooo cold but Irwin and I decided that maybe it would be OK in the afternoon since it was a whopping 11 degrees at their house. What a mistake! We arrived at Stratton, their home mountain, around 1 and we were home by 2:30ish. I was so cold that I had no feeling in my face and toes. The hand warmers could hardly keep up with the cold outside. It was not a complete waste as we did have some great runs but I cannot deal with being that cold. We headed back home to rest up and shower...there was some really good news when we arrived that the weather for Sunday was going to be a lot warmer AND it was going to SNOW!! I am not sure that you all know the knickname for the east coast: The "Ice Coast". It has been given that name because MOST of the mountains in upper NY state and lower Mass are covered in ice. Even a few inches would have been a treat for Sunday.

Mother Nature must have felt bad because she gave us a TON of fresh snow on Sunday. Kathy, Irwin and I packed the car and headed to Okemo, one of my favorite resorts, to meet their friend Steve for a free morning of skiing. We made fresh tracks all over the mountain and the snow was just coming down. It was an amazing morning. We tired ourselves out by 10:30. So we headed back to the house for some lunch and naps. It was so nice to have people to ski with at my level. We hit a double black run and I took a run in the trees with Steve, they were a bit sketchy but so worth it. I will be returning to Okemo at the end of February for a Women's SKi Clinic for 3 days. It's so awesome and the women are all great skiers. My mom actually heads up with me and she snowshoes during the day. Then we all meet for dinner and s'mores at the end of the day.

Yesterday was another fantastic day. I was going to head back over to Stratton for a few hours before I headed back down to the flatland. We got some new snow overnight and I was super stoked to get out again. While we were getting dinner ready on Saturday night Kath had mentioned that maybe she would join me in the morning and then Irwin got on the bandwagon and off we all went early in the morning. We got to the mountain around 8:30 just in time for the first few chair rides up. There were hardly any skiers/boarders there yet and we had a blast. I skied my butt off until 12:30....when it was time to go home. I smiled the entire way home on that same scary road. I have to say that in the daylight it was hardly scary, it was actually gorgeous.

After 3 days of skiing my legs were way too tired to get out there for my 2 mile run. I am heading to the dreadmill tomorrow for 2 miles and on Thursday for my 5 miler. My 6 mile run will have to be one of the mornings I am at Weight Watchers leader training. I am leaving Thursday afternoon for that experience. I will give you the run down on that when I return.

Have a great day and keep warm.

Some Fun Stuff

2009-01-14T09:06:00.004-05:00

So some of the time I was MIA I was actually in Long Beach CA for a business meeting. After the meetings were over we had a huge party on The Queen Mary in Long Beach. Below are some fun pics of the people I work with and call friends. The party was a Mad Men theme...which means we all had to look like we came out of the 60's. Honestly it is IMPOSSIBLE as you all know to try to caption pics once you upload them so I am actually going to skip that step :-) Sometimes it's just fun to look at people all dressed up, partying and looking a bit tipsy.

I am a Blogging Slacker

2009-01-11T17:04:00.002-05:00

I am so sorry for just disappearing on you my friends and thank you for your messages checking in on me. Life has been busier than I can ever imagine and I know that it's not a good excuse but it is completely true. I have missed being on here and reading what is going on with everyone...that is on the agenda for tonight and tomorrow. I think that I have missed a lot and again I am so sorry.

I have skied two days since I last posted and all I can say is BRRRRRRRRR it was freezing and the snow leaves a lot to be desired. Being a snow snob who skied out west for 4 winters is not helping that situation at all. I am heading to Vermont for Martin Luther King weekend and for a few days in February so maybe I'll get some good days in then. I was trying to plan a trip to Tahoe but that fell through and as sad as that makes me I will be out in California for a week once Michelle has her baby boy, that way I can see her and all of my other friends.

The good news is that I have started to work for Weight Watchers. I am currently training as a receptionist and on Thursday I was called by my Territory Manager, basically my boss, to ask if I had any interest in becoming a leader because she wants to fast track me. I am heading Basic Leader Training next Thursday. It's amazing how fast this is all happening and they already have a meeting that they want to give me once I am done...this is what I have wanted. When I interviewed I was hoping to be a leader pretty quickly and now it's really happening. I am getting a chance to inspire people to lose weight and live healthier lives all because I have been able to do it. Along with the excitement comes a lot of nervousness and pressure. I know it sounds funny but as excited as I am to inspire I hope that I can live up to the WW organization and my members expectations. If they did not think that I have what it takes then I would not be on this path. I would love to have all of you at my meetings and anytime you're in NY stop by.

I have been training for both of the half marathons that are coming up in the spring. Training in the winter is impossible to say the least. It is too cold out to run outside so I am tied to the dreadmill for more miles than I would like to be. Triathlon coaching starts early February and to say that I am excited is a complete understatement. I am ready to work out with other people who are like minded and have similar goals. It is also a new and fantastic way to meet people. One of the guys from my swim class is going to be taking the same tri training as me so at least I know someone going in. I get shy in situations where I know nobody, I know that is shocking but true. When I was 231 pounds I was out there with no problem, no an ounce of shyness. Once the weight came off that outgoing girl sort of hid if you can believe it.

So that's the update. Not a lot of working out going on but a lot of really positive, life changing things (for my life and my potential members). I hope you're all well and I will be catching up with all of you. Happy 2009!!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T06:27:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas to all of my blogging friends. I wish you a happy and safe holiday. I am off for my first ski day of the season. Can we say HAPPY SHOSH

Enjoy your time with family and friends. Much love.
XOX

Did You Just Say That??

2008-12-18T15:09:00.002-05:00

I had a blind lunch date yesterday and when I am done you will see why there is a chance that I am going to swear off of dating....

So I was to meet this man we'll call him "H" at a place in the W Hotel at 1. I was a bit annoyed as the place was all the way across town but I went anyway. I arrive only to see that they are closed for lunch! Yes, closed. So I call the people who set us up and they were so surprised so they told me to wait 10 minutes as he would be there and we would just go someplace else. Needless to say he was 25 minutes late...not a great first impression as I HATE lateness, why is your time more important than mine? He was described at 5'8", I am 5'7" and I was wearing my Ugg boots and I was still taller than him, so I am doubting that they were accurate about his height.

So we end up going someplace else which was fine with me. He asks me what he should order, the steak or the chicken...ummmm what do I care you're eating it I am not. So as we're about to order his Blackberry rings and he answers it. It was a short conversation but still, he's not making the best first impression. When he hangs up he leaves the BB on the table and proceeds to glance at it every few seconds actually that AND the TV on the wall behind my head. I guess I am not as engaging as you all think. haha

So we get to the topic of my running, training and skiing. After I finish he looks at me and asks:

H: "Do you know what I am thinking right now?"
S: "That I am a bit nuts?"
H: "No, what kind of stamina you'll have in bed"

YES he really said that to me. I almost fell out of my chair. This was in the middle of his using curses as part of his regular conversation. Now I am a bit of a potty mouth myself but NOT with strangers or on dates. I seriously could not wait to get away from this guy. He was talking and talking all while eating and looking at his Blackberry. Bad table manners in my opinion.

So he tells me that he's going to email me, I reluctantly give him my work email and he hands me his card. The two positive highlights of the lunch are that he paid and it ended with my going back to work and never having to see him again.

After this experience being single is really not too bad.

For SuperDave

2008-12-16T09:16:00.004-05:00

Dave requested that I share my view of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree and Ice Skating Rink. These were taken from the 6th Floor of 1 Rock. I hope that they bring you some holiday cheer.

Sunday is the Hardest Day

2008-12-14T16:25:00.007-05:00

Of the week for a single person. I used to love Sundays when I was with my ex Kyle, I almost looked forward to them. It was the one day that was typically just ours to do what we wanted. We went to the movies, to the mall, skiing in Tahoe, down to San Fran to roam around or we did nothing but we did it together. I have been single since February of this year, I dated someone for 8 months after I arrived in NY, and I have found that Sundays are the hardest or loniest day of the week.

Five days a week I am surrounded by people from morning until evening when I get home. I ride to work on the train with the same 5 people who I love. They already knew each other when I arrived at the Larchmont train station. We are a mixed group of people, George, Jaya, Erin, Sandy, Grace and every now and then Wendy. There are seats saved and conversation flows so easily at 8 in the morning. We worry if someone is not there and we know who is going where on vacation and when. I look forward to my ride to work every morning. At work I now sit in "Cube City" as we have named it, up until October I had an office with a door but since space is so expensive they had to cut back on some offices in our new space at 1 Rock. If I walk across the office I get to see the ice skating rink, 30 Rock and of course the world famous Christmas Tree in Rock Center. I hate where I sit...I seriously do. I love my job but I hate sitting in the middle of my busiest clients who have no idea what boundaries are. I do get to sit right next to my best friend at work and two seats away from my best guy friend at work. He got engaged last week to an amazing girl, I have never seen two people who are more perfect for each other. Needless to say between all of the chatter, computers, phone calls and just being around people all day I look forward to going home alone at night. Don't get me wrong it would be nice to have someone to come home to who understands me and my need to have some alone time after work.

I am usually pretty busy on Saturdays and I have been spending a lot of time with my mom. It is also the night I typically make plans with friends. Friday night I like to be home after the long work week and I need a break from people at that point. By the time Sunday comes I am focused on how another dateless weekend has gone passed. Today I stayed home, cooked some stuff for the week and watched P.S. I Love You. I had read the book a long time ago and I remember crying at different points ...well the movie is exactly the same. I found myself feeling envious of how much she loved and was loved by her husband and how lonely she was after he died. Kyle is not dead, we just broke up so please don't get the wrong idea. I think that watching that just drove home the point that I am alone and for whatever reason I am struggling to find a date. It is something that makes me sad even though I know how lucky I am in other areas of my life. I am surrounded by my family, friends, I have a good job, good health, and nothing can stop me from reaching whatever goal I set for myself.

I think that to keep from getting too down I focus on other things: working out, getting stronger and faster. This is part of the reason that I am so looking foward to my upcoming employment at Weight Watchers, it will give me a chance to share in the joy of others as they reach their goals. My focus this winter is on training for the two half marathons that are coming up in April and May. Starting in February I will be part of the triathlon training group at the Rye Y where I hope to meet more like minded people by that I mean people like you bloggy peeps...I do what I can to live a full and happy life. I smile about something every day...I would love to have someone to share that smile with who understands exactly why it is that I am smiling without any words.

Sorry for the pity party...I just needed to get this out.

Quick Update

2008-12-10T13:46:00.003-05:00

OK everyone get ready because Cyndi and I are going to ROCK Cleveland in May! Yup...you read it here first Cyndi has signed up for her FIRST half marathon. We're doing The Cleveland Half Marathon on Sunday May 17, 2009. I am so excited that I will get to cross the finish line with her as she completes her first half marathon!!

Make sure you stop by her blog and give her some cheers. Can I get a WOOT!

Remember Me?

2008-12-09T09:05:00.013-05:00

Hi. I have been gone for so long I hardly can remember the last time I posted...oh yeah, before Thanksgiving. Sorry to anyone who has been looking for me life has just been getting the way of blogging. This will catch you all up on what's been going on.

Here are Cyndi and I on my first day of vacation in November! Yes, she really is that pretty in person. We're standing on Manhanttans in Toledo, isn't that funny? I invited Cyn here to NY to run with my on New Years Eve but that's not going to happen this year. Anyone interested in doing the Midnight Run in Central Park let me know.

I so enjoyed being on vacation. I went to the gym most of the days that I was there, I even saw a loss on the scale when I retured. I got to spend time with my dad and step mom along with some friends, old and new. I saw my friend Matt and we watched the NY Giants kick some butt in Arizona. It's amazing how easy it is to spend time with old friends, you kind of just fall back into step with them. For me getting to be with my dad for a week was amazing. We did not spend a ton of time together but the time we did spend together was great. Talking to him and catching up on our lives face to face is great! He lives on a lake in Michigan so it's really like being at a resort with my favorite guy. Before I arrived my dad asked for my calendar because it just seemed like every day I was telling him about plans with someone else.

On Tuesday I met Nicole. She's so cute, sweet, energetic and a friend for life. We met at the mall in Ann Arbor for some shopping and then dinner. It was as though we've known each other forever. She had a procedure that morning and her anesthesia was starting to wear off in J.Crew were we both got cute socks and some other things. She had cleaned her grandmother's house that morning which shows me what a special girl she is, taking care of her grandmother you have no idea what I would give to have 5 more minutes with mine. We talked about her family and growing up on a farm and finally we ended up at the bookstore where I convinced her to buy Twilight. It's a teenage love story that revolves around vampires and a generally fun read. I picked up the second book. :-) We sat and ate our free popcorn samples while people watching. It was nice that we both felt that some people don't own mirrrors and they really should. We had dinner and sadly had to say good-bye since we both had a drive to get home. I am sure that I will see Nicole again when I head out to Michigan or in Cleveland if I can fit that race into my schedule and budget.

As you know I lived in Michigan for 4 years and while I was working at General Motors I met some of the most amazing women who are still dear friends. Lora was unable to join us for dinner as she had just had major surgery but on Wednesday I got to spend some time with her at her house. It was so nice to have some time to just sit and talk. We watched The Food Network and looked at her pretty Christmas tree. From her house I went to meet the rest of the original GM gang for dinner. Here we are at Andiamo where there is a rumor that Jimmy Hoffa is buried. From left to right...Jill who now lives in D.C. with her husband Lamar, Pam who still works at GM but out in Grand Blanc, Andrea who is my running partner and me. We sat for almost 3 hours just catching up and checking in on each other. I have not seen Jill since I left GM in 2003. Pam and I have had lunch with the other girls one time since my depature. These women have supported me through some of the major ups and downs of my life and I am thankful that we are able to remain friends no matter how many miles are between us. At 10 it was time to go home and sleep so that Andrea and I could head to Detroit in the morning for our 5K Turkey Trot.

I LOVED this race. It was actually a lot warmer than I had thought it would be, if you can believe it I was over dressed, yes over dressed. I had my thermal pants, fleece pants, a compression top, long sleeved iRUNLIKEAGIRL top, Helle Hansen jacket, hat and gloves. I was ready for a frozen tundra but what I got was a 40 degree start. We saw some of the best costumes, the Grinch, Woody Woodpecker was there, Santa and all his reindeer and of course the teenages who were topless and in shorts. Did their parents see them before they left the house?? We ran the parade route so we had a built in cheering section which made it nice. I did have a hard time breathing since it was chiller than I was used to but we powered along. Once again they messed up the chip time, this time it was for both of us. We did this race in 32 or 33 minutes, not too bad considering there were 10,000 people. Here we are at the finish looking happy and ready to go inside. I actually ran with my camera too. It was not fair to ask my dad to get up and come down to take our pics, he did get up at 6 to make sure that I had my normal race breakfast though, 2 egg whites and toast...isn't he the BEST!! Andrea and we talking about what our next race was going to be. She is thinking of doing the Cleveland Half too. Thanksgiving was nice, I went with my dad and Hava to some friends. Friday my vacation was over, I spent the day with my dad which was the perfect ending to a great week. I always get so sad when I leave but after spending a week with him I was teary at the airport. I am not good at good-byes and I miss my dad so much being far from him. I know that I will be back in Michigan soon as I cannot stay away, I am tied to too many people there. My dad will be here when I cross the finish line at my first Tri in the spring as will my mom.

Back to reality for me. I have been running around the last week or so just getting back into the swing of being home and working. DIRECTV is a mad house these days for which I am thankful because that means people want satellite tv. The holiday season is always reflective for me. It is a time for families to be together and to remember what makes them a family. You cannot pick these people but you have to look for the good in each and every one of them. I have been running and hitting the gym as much as possible. Oh and I have some news...how could I forget LOL. I had my Weight Watchers interview on Friday. I actually met directly with the Territory Manager and we totally hit it off. I sent her a thank you email as soon as I got home Friday night and she replied on Saturday telling me that she would love to offer me the job! Sooooo that means that I will start out as a receptionist since all leaders start in the same spot and hopefully I will be fast tracked to a leader. It's a dream come true for me to help people realize all of their potential while on their weight loss journey and beyond. As we all know it's all interconnected and that's something that we sometimes lose sight of.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to make sure you're all in the loop, I've missed you. Tonight at WW I will learn about the Momentum Plan, it seems pretty easy and very exciting!

How I Spent the First Day of My Vacation

2008-11-23T09:25:00.003-05:00

Well for those of you who also read Cyndi's blog you will know that I drove down to meet her in Toledo yesterday. We spent four and a half hours together talking as if we'd known each other our whole lives. It is a funny thing how this friendship grew and formed. I started to read Cyndi's blog when I found it on Michelle's blog. I did not understand how people found other blogs until I started clicking around on people who had made comments. WOW a whole new blogging world opened up to me. I remember reading one of her first posts about Chris and I was deeply moved, there was just something about her that immediately drew me in. As time went on we would post comments on each other's blogs and then one day I read something that made me think "WOW we're cut from the same cloth", not something that happens very often. I sent her a personal email telling her that just that and she wrote back telling me that she felt the exact same thing about me. And that's how our email friendship started. We decided about a month ago that we would meet, we wanted to coordinate with Nicole but Ann Arbor was way too far for Cyn to drive in one day. I am meeting Nicole on Tuesday for dinner and some shopping I CANNOT WAIT!

I have to say Cyn did all the work on finding us a place to meet and I will say she picked the perfect place. We exchanged phone numbers about a week ago and I was like holy moly I am finally going to get to meet her. You know there is a stigma about "the internet" and what could possibly happen to you if you meet someone, ummm this is not myspace ;-) So we texted and emailed the week before I left for Michigan and finally on Friday I told her that I would call her from the airport and we would finalize our plans. I got her voicemail and I was so excited, it was Cyn's voice...I know it sounds funny but this was very exciting. She had texted me back that she was with Chris when I called and she would call when she got on the road in the morning.

She did just that. I was on the road too and we were like little kids waiting for Christmas, we were talking in giddy tones that the day was here and BBFs were to meet. I arrived before she did as Detroit is a bit closer than Cleveland. I texted her when I got there and told her that we were going to be the only two patrons in there, other than this weird guy sitting at the bar that I was talking to about the Michigan/Ohio State game (Michigan got crushed). While I was waiting two older ladies walked in so I figured people in Toledo did not get started until later in the day, nope they were the only other customers the entire time. I saw Cyn walk by the window and I jumped off my bar stool to make sure I was standing right there when she walked it. We hugged like lifelong friends and we were just ready to sit down and start talking. Email is one thing but actually being able to talk face to face is something that in this age of technology is lacking.

I don't even know where to begin. Cyndi is gorgeous, thin, kind, sweet and a fantastic mother with three very special children. We spent the hours we were together talking about my failed dating experiences, Chris' seizures, Grace's stomach migraines and so many other things including some glimpses into our childhoods. We talked politics and about how scary the current state of affairs are in our country. There was one thing that really touched me about her and Mike...they are so unselfish and one story in particular reminded me of my mom. As you know Alison, Cyn's middle daughter, is hoping to go to a private school next year. It's a decision she made on her own, something that speaks volumes for what an insightful child she is. You may also remember that Cyn was in a car accident a while back and her van was totalled. Being a mother of 3 she clearly needs a car that can not only fit her kids but their friends too from time to time. A decision was made that the new car could wait as Alison's school was important. Her story made me think of my mom as I was growing up...my mom did without things so that I could have a horse. It was so unselfish and to this day I cannot thank my mom enough for the sacrafices she made so that I could do what I loved. I know that when Alison looks back on this decision she too will feel the same thanks.

That is the type of person Cyndi is. I know that yesterday was just the beginning of a lifelong friendship. She is someone that I know I can count on and hope see more of in the future. I cannot wait to meet her fam who was sending the sweetest texts while we were sitting and chatting. They were relieved that I was real and happy that we were having such a nice time together. Driving home I smiled the entire way as reflected on our conversation and I called everyone I know to tell them what a wonderful day I had. I have to say that although she has posted on her blog that she is 41 I have a hard time believing it. She looks fantastic! She's as sweet in person as she is on her blog and I am proud and honored to call her my friend. I too have a pic but you'll have to wait until I get home to see it...I forgot the connector.

I will be meeting another long time friend today. There will be a full report on my dinner with Nicole and of course a race report for Thursday's Turkey Trot. After reading Dave's race report from 18 degrees I am getting nervous, I guess the faster I run the faster I'll be warm.

Thanks again Cyn for meeting me...you are truly wonderful.

The Journey Begins

2008-11-19T09:31:00.007-05:00

My true journey starts now. I made Lifetime last night at Weight Watchers. It's been a long and sometimes tumultuous struggle to get here. I cannot lie and say that it was easy or fast. I graduated from college in May 1994 at 231 pounds and in Nov 2008 I made Lifetime at 158 pounds. See...it has taken me a while to get serious and realize how important this milestone really is. As I have said before I have a personal goal to acheive that I have not yet reached but I know that with hardwork and continued dedication I will get there too. The truth is I have did not do this alone I have a team of people who have been behind me through this. My mom, dad, aunt, dear friends, various leaders in many states and most recently you, my blogger friends. Last night it was about me and Mary, my fantastic, kind, loving and inspiring leader/friend.

Over the weekend I had thought about weighing in to get it over with, I was up a bit but if I weighed in on Sunday morning I would have made Lifetime and then celebrated on Tuesday night at my regular meeting. I texted Mary to see if this would screw up her numbers, it is important to me that she gets credit for this since for the last few months she has been with me every step of the way and I did not want to do anything to mess her up. She texted me back saying that it was OK if I wanted to go and we could celebrate on Tuesday but that it does go into the Sunday leaders stats. She told me at least twice that I needed to do what was right for me which is very unselfish, something that also makes a great leader. I woke up on Sunday and decided that my making Lifetime was not just my success it was also Mary's so my mind was made up, I was waiting. I did text her to let her know and she was happy to hear that. I told her that she is too important to me to waste this on some random leader.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning and my naked weigh in at home....UGH I was up. Yup there was a chance that I would not be at Lifetime for my evening meeting. To say this put me in a bad mood is a compelete understatement. I even emailed my mom and aunt from my Blackberry at 5:30am to tell them that we would most probably not be celebrating. After that I went to the gym to ride the bike and run, I needed to do something positive based on how that number on the scale had gotten to me. I know that it's just a number and that it does not define or measure my success but that does not mean it does not sting when it is not where I expect it to be. I also packed my lunch which consisted of low sodium foods, I had to do something to try to counteract the bloated feeling I had when I woke up. Off to work I go with a bad attitude and a sense of defeat, it was really that bad, my mom can tell you as I stopped at her house after the gym and I was not too friendly...I never am when I think that I have failed. Funny when I really think about it what would I have failed at? I ate right, worked out and tried my best...how can I look at that as failure. OK that is a post for another day.

Around 5pm I texted Mary to tell her that I did not think we would be celebrating but that I would be at the late meeting with Riva, my aunt. I ran home, changed and got on my home scale, I cannot tell you how much I hate that thing but it showed that I had dropped .4 since the morning. Um OK I'll take that. I did not want to get my hopes up since the number on my scale and the center scale are NEVER the same but off I went. I have been wearing the same outfit, underwear, bra, top and shorts for the last 3 years of weigh ins, when I say the same I mean the exact same outfit. I do that because then I can never blame my clothes for my gains.

I arrive at the center where Mary, Beth(my favorite receptionist), and one other member are chatting. I strip down to my weigh in outfit, head to the bathroom for one last ditch effort to "lose" and I head over to the scale....Beth says sorry maybe next week as she writes the number. Both Mary and I were like WHAT?? I am there!!!!!! I am there.....I was below 160 and I had made LIFETIME. There were papers to fill out and a new Lifetime card to get, yes I am actually a card carrying member LOL. And hugs for everyone. My aunt came in and she asked "did she do it?" I gave her a nod and ran over to her for a hug. She has been with me through the roughest plataeus. She made Lifetime herself two weeks ago. Now my mom, Riva and I are the Lifetime triplets...yup three in one family. I texted my mom(she was at a Board Meeting or she would have been there), my BBF Cyndi and my dear dear friend Michelle. All of them were so happy for me. I got my key charm which is what you get from WW when you get to Lifetime, it's the last WW charm I will ever get, kind of sad but totally worth it.

Mary celebrated my success with the entire meeting at the end. I came up and we hugged again, I know that this was her victory too and I am so happy I did not take that away from her. I told everyone that it is hard work and takes a lot of dedication. We all get frustrated and everyone has moments they feel defeated, I was there just that morning, but they always need to come to the meeting and remember that a great leader makes ALL the difference.

My journey starts now because I have to live. I will still weigh in every week and work towards my personal goal, this is going to a be a lifelong battle for me. I will never be one of those people who can eat whatever they want and never gain an ounce. Through WW I have learned that I can be one of those people who eats whatever she wants, counts it and moves on from there. I am not perfectly on program every day, who could live like that? I eat candy, french fries(usually after weigh in) and I even drink wine from time to time but I have the tools to make sure I am not completely derailed by these choices. I am hoping that the next part of this journey is filled with as much support and inspiration as the first part. I hope that I can continue to inspire people to get to their goal and to live healthier lives. It's important for me to get my message out: I could not run a mile in high school and I have completed 9 half marathons and 1 full marathon. I graduated from college at 231 pounds with pains in my feet and knees, I am now a 36 year old fit athlete. If I can do this anyone can. I truly believe that knowing you're not alone on this journey is so important since everyone needs support and encouragement along the way. I hope that I can provide that to anyone who needs it because I know that if I did not have it I would have thrown in the towel long ago.

I want to send out a heartfelt thanks to my parents, my step parents, my aunt Riva, Michelle (I wish you were at my meeting last night), Cyndi, my friends who have stood by while I declined dinner invites and to Mary my leader and my friend...you truly made all the difference.

A Bit Of A Funk

2008-11-12T09:21:00.006-05:00

Hi blogger friends. I just want to start this post off with a huge THANK YOU for checking in with me to make sure that I was OK and still alive. I am but I have been in a bit of a funk the last week or so and I figured nobody wants to read about my complaints but then I thought why not since who do else do you turn to in your moments of need but your friends....

My biggest let down this week was in my dating life. I was set up with a man through a friend of my mothers daughter. She lives in Zurich with her husband and this man is his first cousin. He lives in New York, 40, single, originally from South Africa, moved to Israel when he was 10 and moved here when he was 29. So there are his stats. He called a few weeks ago to set up a date for the Saturday night before the NYC Marathon. We seemed to get along on the phone and I was really excited to meet up with him. The Wednesday before our date he called to cancel since he would be working late and did not think that he would be very much fun. I told him I understood but I was pretty disappointed and we did make a date for the following Friday night. I told him that I would be in Brooklyn on Sunday for the marathon so maybe we could meet then since he lives really close to my cousin. I called him when I arrived in Brooklyn and we did just that, met up. He's tall, dark and very handsome...that combined with the South African accent HOLY MOLY!! We spent about an hour together just talking and checking out the runners, he came over to meet my aunt and cousin in law. Just before Jeff ran by he had to go and take care of his laundry but we agreed to meet on Friday night as planned. YES a real date on a Friday night! Cut to the next scene and it's Wednesday with still no word from him. Something about that did not sit right with me as I thought that if we were to go out on Friday it would be nice to know the details BEFORE Friday. I called and left him a message being the modern girl that I am...no call back. Hmmmmmmm the discomfort I was feeling was completely warranted because on Thursday at 4:45pm I get a TEXT message from him cancelling our date due to his "schedule". When we met the previous Sunday we were discussing how busy he is with work and some study he's doing but still by TEXT. The man did not even have the common decency to call me to cancel.

I took this rejection really hard. I felt that he used his work as an excuse not to see me again. Honestly maybe he did not like something about me or he could tell we would not be a good fit but to use an excuse like work to get out of it is almost insulting to me. Why not be honest and have the guts to pick up the phone rather than text. I never responded to him and I never will...I spent a lot of time on Thursday and Friday trying to figure out what is wrong with me and why I am still single. It has taken me a long time to get where I am in my life and by that I mean HAPPY. I know that I have written about this so many times before but I really do have a good life, one that I created for myself not based on anyone else. So why did this send me into such a tailspin??

I, like everyone else, have insecurities. I think that I am too fat, I hate my hair a lot of the time(it is kind of frizzy and damaged from flatironing it), I break out like a teenager at certain times of the month and a list of other things that I cannot think of right now. But I have to say that on the Sunday of the marathon I was looking and feeling pretty good. I liked my hair, my skin was clear, the sun was out and I was 3 weeks from Lifetime at WW. Plus I am pretty good in person meaning I am personable. I thought that we were having a nice time and that we liked each other, I mean we did confirm our Friday date before we parted. I must have missed something.

It has taken me a few days to pick myself up, dust off my wounds and realize that this has nothing to do with me and that there is nothing wrong with me. I am a pretty, successful, outspoken, smart, independent woman. I cannot let the fact that I am single minimize my accomplishments or to maximize my insecurities. I need to continue to be focused on what is important to me in my life and remember that a partner would be a bonus not the sole source of my happiness.

All of that said it is his loss at the end of the day, I am pretty comfortable saying that. I will continue to work out, get stronger, faster and maybe thinner for ME. This journey is about ME and doing what makes me whole as a person.

Next week I will be a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers to me that is something to celebrate and in grand scheme of things it is one of the most important things that I have done for myself. I have an interview at Weight Watchers on December 5 which will give me the chance to help other people achieve their goals and hopefully be able to see who they are inside and that they are more than the overweight person that the world sees. It will allow me to inspire people to stick with the program no matter what the scale says. It will allow me let them know that if I can do this so can they. It will allow me to be there for people in need of support when the journey gets rough. That is what I get from those of you who read and comment on my blog...for that I am truly thankful.

How I Spent My Sunday

2008-11-03T10:45:00.012-05:00

Yesterday was the NYC Marathon, the premier running event for the NY Road Runners or so they say in their ads. My cousin Jeff ran his 8th NYC Marathon yesterday morning with a finish time of 4:12 (that's what my aunt told me so I am going with that). Isn't that awesome!! Other than being in NY the great thing about this race is that you can see the runners from so many different places along the 26.2 mile course through 5 boroughs. Seeing my cousin do this for the 8th time has inspired me to possibly run it in 2010 with him for his 10th race. OK not "with" him since he's a lot faster than me but with him as in the same race.

Riva, my aunt who I have blogged about before, and I headed to Brooklyn where Jeff and his wife Jenny live to catch Jeff at Mile 8 of the course. The runners literally run by their front door. Here is Jeff as he runs up to us. He is wearing a black shirt with bedazzlers that say "Go Jeff", if you knew him you'd seriously be laughing out loud or maybe you are just because it's bedazzled. He stopped to kiss Jenny, grab a Gu and off he went with his friend Michelle who is next to him in this picture. It was a gorgeous, sunny, 50 something degree day. There were people of all shapes and sizes doing this race and the one thing that I can say about most of them is that they were happy. Almost everyone smiled as they went by and you could just see the joy on their faces and how proud they were to be running this race. I saw a lot of shirts that said "First 26.2" and "Proud to be running in NYC" seeing shirts like that make me proud to be a New Yorker. As with every race there were adaptive athletes. They are nothing less than awe inspiring. I have noticed more and more people with disabilities doing races and I am always so proud to share a passion for racing with them. It shows me that you cannot allow anything to get in the way of your goals whether it's finishing a marathon, triathlon, getting to goal or just getting out of bed every morning with something to smile about.

After we saw Jeff run by us at Mile 8 we had some time to kill before we headed to 96th Street and 1st Ave. That is Mile 18 and a great place to see the runners. There was a buzz on subways, streets and among people going to see their loved ones participating in this amazing event. He started the race with a hat and gloves, which he is handing off to Jenny in this pic. See the shiny "Go Jeff", his friend Michelle who runs this race with him made it for him years ago. My cousin has asthma so Jenny had his inhaler at the ready but he did not need it. After handing off the hat and gloves he headed for the Bronx and we headed over to 90th Street and 5th Ave. This is the first turn into Central park and about Mile 22. While we were waiting for Jeff at Mile 18 a friend of mine from work ran by, James Coopey. I started yelling and cheering for him but he did not hear me. It made me feel good to do even though he did not hear me. There is something about people cheering for you or people around you that helps to keep you moving and motivated. That has been my experience and I think that is why while on course I cheer for people who are around me, it keeps me going and hopefully them too.

When we got to 90th Street there were a ton of people there to cheer on their friends and family. You could see the relief on the runners faces just knowing that they were turning into the park and their race was almost over. Other than relief I saw happiness again and a sense of pride. They had come 22 miles and they were almost done...here come Batman and Robin before they headed into Central Park. I spotted those two and I was like that's awesome running a marathon dressed like a super hero and I am thinking that in their own way they are. My cousin too, he does this race for Pancreatic Cancer Research, the disease that took his father's life last May. After doing my first (and only) marathon I realized that I am part of a special club of people who have accomplished something amazing. It took me well over 5 hours to finish my marathon but it's no less of accomplishment than Jeff's 4:12 finish. I think that is the beauty of these races is that you're really only racing against yourself and the clock. It's always nice to pass people of course but it is really about pushing yourself for your own personal best. At the Detroit Marathon as my dad and I were heading back to our car we were walking past the finish line shoot watching some of the marathoners finish...Mile 26 and a man collapsed. His legs would not allow him to stand up on his own, they were cramping so badly. As I was standing there cheering for him to get up, that he was so close to the finish a group of about 5 runners stopped and picked him up. They were not going to allow their fellow athlete collapse at Mile 26 of this race. I would have done the same thing and that is just one example of why I am proud to be a member of this club.

Here is Jeff at Mile 22 and Jenny and I just before I said goodbye to her and Riva. They were heading to the finish area which was entrance by ticket only. It was a great and inspiring experience for me. I am here to cheer you all on in your own races not matter what it is..weight loss, 5K, 10K, half or full marathon. We all just do better when we know our support team is there for us.

Three More Weigh Ins

2008-10-29T19:31:00.009-04:00

Until I hit Lifetime on WW. I am as excited about it as I am nervous. I am not at my personal goal so I know that the weight loss quest continues as opposed to maintaining. It just seems like every time I have gotten to this point in the past I have "failed" or ended up right back in the size 14-16's that were in my closet (I gotten rid of everything except one pair of 12's that I love). I do know for sure that I am a completely different person than I was when I started this weight loss journey but there is always that fear of "getting fat again" in the back of my mind.

I do whatever I can to separate my current life from my, for lack of a better word, fat life. I actually find that I am too hard on myself sometimes and that as most people are I am my worst critic. Unexpected days off from the gym kind of send me into a tizzy and I start to worry that all that weight will come back...I DO know that it is completely irrational and that WW is all about a lifestyle and living but sometimes I have a hard time rationalizing that in my head. I did not get to be 231 pounds from missing one or two work outs or eating one meal that was WAY over POINTS. It was a slow process putting it on just like taking it off is. I have done a lot of thinking about this irrational fear and I think that I am starting to get it under control somewhat. I have to keep things in perspective and be happy with how far I have come. I need to keep that fear in the back of my mind because I think that it is partly what keeps me going on this program. They say a little fear is OK as long as it does not consume you. It's the being consumed by the fear that I am working on since who doesn't want to live?

I love my life. I can honestly say that. I am proud of the woman that I have grown into. I am proud that people call me their inspiration. I am proud to tell people that I am a Weight Watchers member. I am happy to answer all questions about my weight loss journey like how long it took me and what got me started. I am thankful for all of the people who have and continue to support and encourage me on a daily basis (believe it or not bloggy friends you fall into that category). It amazes me that I have a blog on the internet that people read and enjoy. I have come a long way in all aspects of my life the weight loss is just the most outwardly obvious one. Funny...a few years ago my step mom told me that if I lost 20 pounds my whole life would change. I was so mad at her when she told me that but now I can see that she was right but for the wrong reason. This comment was originally made when I was 231 pounds and having a hard time finding a boyfriend. I met up with guy from JDate at a bar and after seeing me he told me he was going to say hi to some friends and never came back.

I have lost 20 pounds, I am still single and yet my whole life has changed...

RoadID Update...

2008-10-27T21:17:00.003-04:00

I sent the owners of the company an email telling them how much I loved the idea of this product and how important giving back to the community is sooo they sent me the below email with a discount code in it. Use it!!!

Hey Everyone,

I just ordered one of the best products ever. It's called a Road ID - perhaps you've heard of it. If you haven't, go to their website and check it out. Road ID is a great product that could save your life someday.When I ordered, they gave me a coupon that I could pass along to my friends.

Here's the coupon number: Coupon Number: ThanksShoshana418986

The coupon is good for $1 off any Road ID order placed by 11/26/2008. To order, simply go to RoadID.com or click the link below:http://www.RoadID.com/?CID=ThanksShoshana418986
If you prefer, you can call them at 800-345-6335.

You can thank me later,
Shoshana

Oh by the way, their website is awesome, the customer service is outstanding, and the owners are very smart and good looking. [Added by them since I truly have no idea what the owners look like :-)]

RoadID

2008-10-25T10:57:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to write a quick note about this amazing thing I found while flipping through Cooking Light Magazine. After reading what Cyndi wrote yesterday about the jogger that was almost abducted while out running I started to think about what other things can happen when I am out running, riding my bike or walking. Not just while I am outside, things can happen at the gym or during a race so what a coincidence that I would find this ad today.

RoadID is a simple band or necklace that you can wear that has all of your emergency information on it. They have many different styles and places that you can wear this ID. I ordered the ankle one since I don't want anything else on my wrist while running (hopefully there will be a Garmin on there soon enough). They have five different style and two different ways of communicating your information. The first option is to have your emergency contacts listed on the ID and the second is an interactive version, that's the one that I chose. It lists your name and home town then it directs the emergency response people to call or log on to get a full list of emergency info on you. It's free for the first year and only $9.99/year after....I think that my safety is totally worth that money.

Once I get my ID I will certainly give you a full report on comfort and ease of use of the site holding my information. One thing that proved to me what a great company this is was their commitment to charities. Here is what they have on their site:

Additionally, "Road ID Gives Back" is an ongoing program where we donate a portion of every order to one of five excellent causes. This program allows each customer to specify which organization should benefit from his or her order. This program was launched in October 2007 and benefits the following organizations: Arthritis Foundation, Lance Armstrong Foundation, Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, National MS Society and the Susan G. Komen For The Cure.

I am all about giving back and had a portion of my purchase go right to the Susan G. Komen For The Cure. It's nice to know that in these troubled economic times that companies are concerned not only about profits but about taking care of those who are truly in need.

Detroit Free Press Half Marathon

2008-10-21T07:38:00.014-04:00

Here it is the full story on my final half marathon of the season. By the way they have the wrong results up for me so I am fighting with them about it but my time was 2:43:33.

I met up with Andrea and her niece Katie at Andrea's house around 10am on Saturday morning after breakfast with our friend Lora. All four of us were doing the race and they were all first timers. I answered all the questions that they had about what to bring, the course and what time we thought we had to be there. Lora was walking the entire race so her start was 5 minutes earlier than ours. Andrea, Katie and I headed down to Detroit to pick up our numbers and to check out the Expo. It was a gorgeous, sunny but cool day. We walked into Cobo Hall it was almost overwhelming. They had us go through a habitrail of booths to get to the packet/number pick up. Since this is an international race we needed to present either a US Passport or a birth certificate to the random person handing out the numbers, not a Boarder Patrol person or anyone official just a regular person. Ummmm OK. We picked up our numbers, shirts and goody bags (which were lacking in my opinion) and started to shop. I ended up getting a really cool jacket with the emblem from the race on the sleeve. After milling about for a bit we headed back home to do some stuff and prepare for the big 4:30am wake up.

My dad is awesome! He woke up at 4:30 on Sunday morning and made me breakfast so that I could get ready. It was 33 degrees as we left to pick up Andrea and Katie, Lora was driving herself down there. I had my Under Armour Baltimore Half Marathon shirt, IRUNLIKEAGIRL hoodie, a Hellie Hanson fleece jacket and gloves, I was freezing. Once we picked everyone up the conversation turned to what we were going to wear for the race, basically how were we going to be comfortable once we got out of the car. It was 43 degrees when we arrived at the race. Here we are, I have shed the jacket to try to get used to the cold. I am on the left, Andrea is in the middle and her niece and my running partner Katie is on the right. It was not as cold when we were huddled up together like that. We tried to find Lora pre-race but it was impossible and we needed to drop our gear and line up for our 7:15 start. I hugged my superstar dad, who was going to stand out in the cold to get some pics and meet me at the finish and off I went with the ladies to our corral. We were in the last corral along with the marathon relayers. Katie had shed her sweatshirt and Andrea had shed her outer jacket (pictured above) but we were all still in long sleeves. Note to self...no more late October races :-) When our start came the crowd moved forward and as we got to the start line the streetlights went out, it was still dark but they are on a timer. We started the race all together as we headed toward the Ambassador Bridge to Canada. Katie and I lost Andrea somewhere around Mile 2, she's quite the speedster. The sun was just coming up as we crossed into Canada and it was some site from the top of the bridge, there were people taking pictures and stuff but we just kept on plugging away. Our goal time to finish was 2:45 and we were about 2 minutes ahead of that at Mile 3.

The view from Canada back to Detroit was amazing. The route took us along the Detroit River on the Canadian side where there were cheerleaders and all sorts of specatators standing around cheering us on. We ran and walked after the bridge as I was really starting to feel the race from the week before. Katie had the stop watch, thank goodness based on the my chip malfunction, so we knew that if we kept our pace we would be breezing in at 2:45 without a problem, we had 2 minutes to spare at every mile. So weird since I seemed to be slowing us down with my need to walk. She was a great sport and a fantastic running/walking partner. We chatted for the entire time and then next thing we knew we were at Mile 7 and heading into the tunnel for the only under water Mile. I stripped off my hoodie because it was supposed to be hot and gross in the tunnel plus I knew my dad would be waiting on the other end to grab it. It was kind of fun in the tunnel as people were screaming and yelling, including me, because we hit Mile 8 while down there...that meant that Mile 9 and the finish (for us half marathoners) was just on the other side. When we came out there were tons of Boarder Patrolers waiting to check your number. My dad said that they were pulling people aside if their numbers were not clearly visible. It was awesome to see him there! I handed him my hoodie and off we went. Katie and I were talking about how fast the time had gone and how we were already back in the U.S.

We got water and Gatorade at every station which Katie said tasted sooo good. I had a Hammer Gel at Mile 9 just to help push me through for the last few miles. The funny thing about this race is that there was no food offered along the half marathon route, that was unusual for me but whatever each race is different. To be completely honest between Miles 9 & 10 in my head I was done, I was not sure that I could finish this race. My body was tired and my legs were really tightening up. We stopped every few miles to stretch our calves and quads but I was really spent. We went through some nice areas of Detroit with lots of people cheering for us which helped to keep me moving. But more importantly I had Katie doing her first half marathon and I did not want to let her down so I pushed through all while still keeping our 2 minutes in the "bank". While we were still in Canada she asked me why I started to do half marathons and I told her "because I was fat" and I needed something to train for. It's an honest answer since I was fat when I started doing these races and as the weight has come off my times have gotten better and better.

As we made the final turn toward the finish we were so excited we were at 2:40...FIVE MINUTES TO SPARE. We were going to come in ahead of our original goal. I told her that I was going to hug her at the finish for helping me to acheive this. I could not run the entire way towards the finish as I was spent but I did must the energy to run with her the final few yards with a HUGE smile on my face. When we crossed she looked at me and said "2:43"!! We hugged and high fived as we moved past the line. What a feeling!! Her goal was to finish in under 3 hours which she not only did but she did it with a smile. We saw my dad and he got my hoodie back to me as I told him of our fantastic finish time. I could not wipe that smile off my face for so many reasons...I had a new personal record, I finished with a first timer and my race season was over. They handed us our medals which we proudly wore towards the runners after race area.

Post race they had goodie bags with bagels, oranges, and some chips in them along with some water. We grabbed those and picked up our gear from the nice volunteers who moved it for us. I dropped my pants and put on my sweats. I was still cold so I put on my jacket as we headed to the Family Reunion area. We found my dad, Andrea and her mom waiting for us. We all hugged and congratulated each other a race well done. Here we are at the family meeting place. We had not found Lora yet but she was done and was on her way to come and meet us. She rocked it too. Andrea was done about 30 minutes before Katie and I, so she too took Detroit by storm. Talk turned to our next races and the possibility of meeting somewhere to do our relay marathon. I am so proud to call these women my friends and that I was there with them at the finish of their first half marthon.

We parted ways after a bit of chatting and I went home with my dad, showered and napped. It was so amazing to have him there with me and to see his smiling face after I finished. He told me over and over again how proud he is of me. Yesterday, Monday, he took me to the airport and it's always sad to say good-bye. I will be back in November for a week so that will be a nice long time. As I got out of the car still on a race high and proudly wearing my Detroit Half Marathon jacket my dad hugged me good-bye and told me how proud he is of me. He clarified that by telling me it was not only because of the race but because of the life I have created for myself and the woman I have become. I was so touched by that. It's so nice to know that even as an adult I am making my parents proud.

Personal Record SHATTERED

2008-10-19T16:15:00.002-04:00

I am still so tired but wanted to stop in a say that I finished the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon in 2 hours 43 minutes...2 minutes faster than my 2:45 goal. It was 43 degrees at the start. :-)

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. Check back later today or tomorrow for a full race report and pics!

Track Your Runner

2008-10-17T10:37:00.002-04:00

OK so I have had some requests for the link and my number so that you can track me on Sunday. I cannot tell you how touched I am that you're all so interested.

From the Detroit Free Press Site:

About Tracking Your RunnerOn Sunday, October 19, the home page of our web site: www.detroitmarathon.com will contain a link for tracking your runner. Just click on that link after the start of the race. You will need a last name or bib number.

My bib number is: 12092

I am hoping for a finish of 2:45(PR) or 2:50 since I am not 100% recovered. There will be a race report Sunday night or Monday.

Thank you again for all of your support and comments!!

The Countdown Continues

2008-10-16T09:14:00.009-04:00

Well today is Thursday and I am leaving tomorrow night for the great City of Detroit for the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon. It has a nifty thing on the site where you can actually track a runner, talk about big brother. I am going to send the link to my mom and aunt that way if they have some down time they can see how I am progressing. I am so excited to go! I love Michigan and this trip is special for so many reasons: I get to have my dad at the start and finish lines, I get to start this race with two dear friends from General Motors (this is their first race), I get to run through Canada and I have a chance to go for a PR. All very exciting things. I am so excited in fact that I have not been able to sleep which is problematic since this week I was supposed to be "resting and recovering", not sleeping is making that a bit difficult. Tonight I am going home from work, packing and trying to get a good nights sleep. I have everything all laid out in my apartment so tonight it's making sure that my sneakers and sports bra make it into the suitcase. Here is the Tech Hoodie from IRUNLIKEAGIRL.com that I will be wearing pre and post race. How cute is that??

This week has been hard for me because I have not worked out at all. I know that I am doing it so that my body is well rested after last weeks race but still this has been hard for me. I notice it in how I am feeling about my body and in my attitude. I am GROUCHY and it's not fun. I feel fat and even lazy, I know that I am neither but this lack of positive movement is really getting to me. Next week will also be a week off since these two races will surely be taxing on my body so I had better get used to this. I keep telling myself that I am resting, recovering and refueling my hardworking body. As much I KNOW that and as much as I NEED this time off it is hard not to get down about the lack of exercise in my schedule. This is the disconnect between what I know is right and what I think I should be doing. My body has performed as I have wanted it to and in some cases even better so really it not only needs this time but it deserves it.

My weight is holding steady which is what my goal has been since I really need to focus more on feeding my body for the races. That too has been a struggle but I think that I get it now, really I do. In order to be in peak shape for Sunday I need to make sure that my body has fuel and in order to give it that I need to eat. I am not eating out of control or way over my POINTS but I am changing what I eat. More protein and A LOT less sodium, have you read some of the labels on the food we eat? YIKES!! Even the low sodium soup has over 400mg. Next week it's back on the weight loss wagon and I will slowly be easing back into my regularly scheduled workouts. HOPEFULLY that will help control my moods again.

I know that AKA Alice has a race this Sunday in San Fran, my old stomping groud and I want to wish her luck!! She's doing The Nike Women's Half Marathon. It's a fun race with a lot of great vibes...come on thousands of women out there together. There are some men but they really do limit the number and the shirts, the two I have anyway, say "I Ran Like a Girl", it takes a confident man to wear that shirt proudly. Good luck Alice we'll be looking for your race report!!

Cyndi asked for a picture of Boo...my bluish/grey cat. So here she is...she lost her best friend last September but this has given her a chance to become her own little lady. It sounds weird but in the last year she has become a real companion to me. It's amazing how pets can make such a difference in your life. It's nice to have her there greeting me when I get home and she snuggles really close when the weather gets cooler. She also LOVES the bathroom sink and runs to it as soon as I walk into the house and she does not stop meowing until I turn the faucet on. I miss her when I am away and she usually goes to my mom's house but this weekend she'll be home alone. Of course her grandmother AKA my mom, will be there to see her on Saturday so she'll have some company. For all of you pet lovers you know what I am talking about when I talk about how much she means to me and how she's really part of my family. I will check back in on Saturday before the race and after the expo...my FAVORITE.

Tagged!!

2008-10-14T08:44:00.005-04:00

Thanks for the tag Nicole for the tag....

Here are 6 facts about me:

1: I weighed 231 pounds when I graduated from college in 1994.

2: I work in the legal department at DIRECTV's NY Office where I review advertising, sweepstakes and Licensing Agreements.

3: When I was a kid I was in a TV commercial for Zeller's. They wanted me to be a boy so they only filmed me from the waist down and I ate about a zillion Oreo's while on the shoot.

4: I have a cat named Boo who is bluish with very green eyes

5: Last year I went to a Jets game and a Giants game along with the home opener for the NY Knicks (I LOVE the NY Giants)

6: I am an only child with 3 step brothers and 2 step sisters and 5 older male cousins...I am the only girl in my immediate family and the baby :-)

I am tagging Michelle(who we have not seen or heard from in a while), AKA Alice, Carly, Roobabs, Kristy and Pokey.

My Mom Rocked Baltimore

2008-10-12T20:29:00.009-04:00

To say that my mom rocked is a complete understatement...my mom with me at her side completed her first half marathon in 2 hours 57 minutes. YES she is a sub three hour finisher. I could not be more proud of her. We left on Friday, a gorgeous and warm NY morning for our destination city of Baltimore. It is a little over 3 hours from where we live, I normally dread long car rides but this one was different. We had a goal for this destination and there was a buzz of excitement in the car because history was going to be made on Saturday morning. My mom was a bit nervous but she was hiding it well from me. We talked about what we were going to do once arrived in Maryland as they have a gorgeous Inner Harbor area but before we could do that we had to get to the expo to pick up our race packets. I love pre-race expos because you get to see all of the other people who are also doing the races, people of all shapes, ages and sizes. I also love to get info on upcoming races and of course I need to shop until I drop. I found this fabulous lady who owns a company called IRUNLIKEAGIRL and I bought two tech hoodies which will be making the trip to Detroit with me on Friday, I HIGHLY recommend you check out this site. Along with the expo we also had to fuel our bodies for the upcoming race, thanks to everyone giving out free snacks at the expo or my mom and I would have been starving by the time we had lunch at 3. I had a crab cake, Baltimore is all about their crab, and my mom had Mahi Mahi. (She was a bit healthier than me but I was in Baltimore hehe). After walking around and snapping some pics of the Inner Harbor we headed to the mall and then back to the hotel for Happy Hour. Yes, Happy Hour sans alcohol but I was nice to sit in the bar and see who was around. Our hotel was less than a mile from the start so there were a lot of racers staying there. Both of us a WW members so the idea of getting to eat pasta for dinner was VERY exciting...come on we needed carbs, fat and protein to make sure there was no breakdown on the course, or that's what we tell ourselves anyway. the hotel hosted a pasta dinner which was so unappealing we both ordered off the menu. From dinner we headed back to our room to rest up.

6:30 Saturday morning the wake up call came in...IT WAS RACE DAY!! I get really excited about racing, it brings out a side of me my mom had never really seen. After getting our gear on we headed down for our morning meal. Me: Bagel, 1 scrambled egg and cheese; Mom: Veggie omelette and toast (that almost paid her a visit after mile 2). I eat the same pre-race breakfast everytime so I know what works for me, this was a learning experience for my mom. We headed out of the hotel around 7:45 to try to catch the start of the marathon. We had a 9:45 start so we had some time to kill. The Baltimore Half is a fund raiser for United Way so they have someone who starts dead last and for every person they pass $2 is donated to the United Way, I wonder how many people he passed. We also watched the 5K race start and in the 13 minutes it took us to stroll over to the bag drop the first 3 5K finishers were pushing toward the finish!! They finished in just over 13 minutes...ummmmm that's almost gross. HAHA After we dropped our bags we had one more pre-race pic taken. My mom had to laugh at this pic since those darn jog bras give us both uni-boobs but as you can see we're in similar colors and we're both SMILING. I don't think I can really get the words across to explain how excited I was about getting into our start corral and getting this race underway. We headed to the pot-o-potty for one last go before heading over to our start at the Inner Harbor...NO TOILET PAPER!! Thank goodness we had tissues or that would have really put a damper on the start YUCK!

We did stop at the Sheraton on our way to the start to use their clean bathroom just before we entered our corral. I looked at my mom and asked her how she felt now that she was lined up for the start of her first half marathon..."I feel confident" is how she responded. I could not help but choke up to hear her say that. She was ready and I knew that this was her day, a day we would both remember and talk about for a long time after. We were in the 3rd Wave so at about 9:50 or so they walked us up to the start and "READY. SET. GO!!!!!" we were off. There was no starting clock so we had no idea what time we actually crossed the start but it didn't matter because we were on our way.

The race started with an uphill mile UGH but I was talking to my mom and telling her that this hill was nothing more than what we have at home and had trained on. She was in her zone from the start through the entire race but that did not stop me from talking to her and encouraging her to keep up the great job she was doing. A little past Mile 1 I was reviewing what we would normally be doing on a Saturday, finishing with our trainer with him asking what we had planned for the day and then moving on to our errands. We ran the downhills sections but I had to slow her down since it was early and I did not want her to poop out too early in the race, distance races are all about pacing yourself so you have some gas at the end to push toward the finish. There were no water stations until Mile 3, where we met up with the marathoners. Still no clocks on the course. We both grabbed some Tootsie Rolls and water, people were giving out candy all over the course. There was another big uphill on our way to Mile 4 where I told my mom that we were almost at her house, she lives 4 miles from me so I was giving the distance a context for her. We were High Fiving with all of the kids along the route who were happily cheering for us along with ladies in PJ's and curlers.

I was asking her all along how she was doing and periodically she would answer with a smile or a word or two. She was having some pains she was not familiar with but she powered through and did not break her pace for anything. At Mile 7, after a nice downhill we entered the park with a gorgeous lake and a band, that was nice as there hadn't been any before. They also had the marathon time clock and I almost passed out...we were heading for a 3 hour half marathon. I started to tell my mom but she hushed me because if she knew it would throw her off so I just said you're more than half done now and cheered her on. As we rounded the lake she asked me what would happen if she took off her shoes. I laughed and told her that she may never get them back on so she decided that maybe she would just take off her clothes, you should have seen the faces of the two guys behind us. As tired as she may have been she did not lose her sense of humor. The last 5 miles were a bit hilly and we grabbed water at each station and we ate the little snacks that were handed out. Our routine was pretty set, I would run ahead and then run or walk backwards until she caught me. I could have pushed for a PR as I was feeling really fantastic but this was not about me, this was about crossing the finish with my best friend and hero. We would raise our arms above our heads when we saw each other to make sure we knew where the other one was. I told everyone who we saw that this was my mom's first and each and every one of them told her how great she was doing.

As we came to Mile 11 she told me that she was starting to choke up thinking about the finish as she was going to finish this race. I told her that the entire race every time I thought about us crossing that line I wanted to cry. At this point I was trying to distract her with asking what we were having for dinner and what kind of fantastic food we could eat after the race. She did was not ready to talk about that yet, she had to get to the finish first. At Mile 12 we picked up the pace a bit and we ran a bit more. We held hands for the camera man and we smiled...I kept repeating that she was going to do this that we could see Camden Yards which meant that the 13 Mile marker was just beyond that. The crowds were cheering us on and I was tearing up, I could not stop smiling for the entire race and now mixed with that smile were tears of sheer joy. At Mile 13 I said look at the clock, look at your time...I ran a one second ahead of her across the finish line and grabbed her once she was done. We both cried, sitting here writing this I am getting teary just thinking about that feeling. Not only did my mom finish her first half marathon she did it in 2 hours 57 minutes!!! They handed her the medal, she thought it was a magnet and we had our picture taken. We grabbed our after race food and headed to get our gear so that my mom could call my step dad. Then the race time calculation started and she could not believe it...she had done this and WE crossed the finish line together. Here we are...Nashville April 2009 anyone???? We're thinking of heading there together and would love the company.

Don't Quit

2008-10-10T06:20:00.002-04:00

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down
And you feel like the biggest failure in town
When you want to give up just because you gave in
And forget all about being healthy and thin
So what you went over your POINTS a bit
It's the next move that counts...so don't you quit
It's a moment of truth, its an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get you back in your range.
It's telling yourself you've done great up 'til now
You can take this challenge and beat it somehow
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stuble and fall is not a disgrace
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the strugglers, when losing their grip
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip
And learn too late when the damage is done.
That the race wasn't over and they still could've won
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow
But facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out.
The silver tint in the cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit
If you bite it, you write it...
BUT YOU DON'T QUIT!!

This was sent to me by Mary, my beautiful, wonderful, caring Weight Watchers leader. I wanted to share this with everyone before I left for Baltimore. She's truly someone that I am very attached to and I know that without her I would have quit a long time ago. This journey can be frustrating and it's certainly hard but with a leader who personally and deeply cares really makes a difference. I shared this with all of you to come back to when you need a pick me up from a friend. Have a great weekend everyone...race report coming Sunday!

A Tough Few Days

2008-10-08T08:28:00.004-04:00

I have been missing for a while with all that's been going on. I have been really tired and kind of in my own world since Rosh Hashana. Part of it is that I have been battling with the scale and for no good reason, in other words I cannot understand why. There have been so many times in the last two weeks when I have wanted to just give up and say "who cares" but truthfully, I care. I really care and that is what keeps me going. I know that there is no alternative, I have accepted that I will always battle the scale and that getting to goal is really just a new beginning. It is a new beginning at figuring out what is going to work and how I am going to move the scale in the direction that I want it to go. As I said I am about 3 or5 pounds from my personal goal well after weigh in yesterday I am now 7 pounds from that goal. To say that I am disappointed would be a complete understatement. When I saw the gain on the scale at my meeting this week I cried, really I did. I don't understand it at all. I earned 33 Activity Points this week and that equals about 1,650 calories.....that's about a day and a half worth of food for me. I ate some of them but not all of them and I still gained.

The one thing that this gain has done is clouded my vision of all the good and wonderful things that I have acheived. I am in a size 8, I can run for 45 full minutes and just 2 short weeks ago I broke a personal record by running a sub-11 minute mile. So why is it that I am so attached to the number on the scale??? I think that being on Weight Watchers is the best way to live my life but I also think that it drives me to be so focused on the number that when it's not where I want it I lose sight of all the good things. I am going to use the next few days to rethink that and to refocus on my 2 upcoming 1/2 marathons...another positive thing to focus on. I am sure that I will take this weight off and that I will be at my personal goal soon enough, there is no doubt about that in my mind and rather than beating myself up along the way I need to be proud of what I have picked up along the way. Hmmmmm self esteem, self awareness, a drive I never knew I had, a stronger heart, stronger muscles, and knowledge that with hard work I can accomplish anything.

Tonight starts Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement for Jews and it is the holiest day of our entire year. We are supposed to fast for about 25 hours and spend a great deal of time asking G-d to forgive our sins of the last year. I am not going to fast because I get sick everytime I do it and I don't think that is the purpose as I can repent in my own way. I will spend time with my family in services tomorrow and then Friday morning my mom and I are leaving for Balitmore. Saturday morning at 9:45 we will be starting The Baltimore Half Marathon and I can honestly not wait to go. I am so excited for my mom, this is huge for her and the thought of crossing the finish line with her really brings tears to my eyes. She's my mom, my best friend and my hero. I do think that I get a lot of my drive and personal strength from her. She never thought that she would be doing a half marathon and if you look at the widget to the right in 2 days she will have done one with me at her side.

When we decided to do this she was worried that she would be holding me back from my personal record. It started out that we would meet at the finish line since we move at different paces. Then I signed up for a half a week later and suddently my focus was shifted, Baltimore is not about me...it's about her and sharing in the experience of her first big, long distance race. Detroit is about me and that's fine, I can push myself for a PR and I can move at whatever pace I want. This Saturday my mom will set the pace and I will follow. I want her to finish with her head held high and with me at her side....

I will post a race report Sunday upon our return. Have a nice weekend everyone.

Mack-Cali White Plains 5K Race Report

2008-09-28T10:36:00.002-04:00

As noted yesterday I decided at the last minute to do a race this morning, I am clearly out of my tree but it was only $20 for the entry and the proceeds go to the White Plains Hospital...where I was born. I originally signed up for the 10K but after being informed that the course was really hilly I was on the fence. When I woke up this morning and felt the soupy air outside I was convinced that the 5K was going to be the best bet for me plus I had a terrible nights sleep so I was not up for it. The race start was 8:30 so I got up made some egg whites with veggie sausage and fat free cheese for some good pre-race nutrition. This was my first race flying solo meaning that I had nobody to run with or talk to, thank goodness people who race are typically nice so I was able to chat with some nice people at the start...oh yeah there are about 100 people that do this race IF THAT, it's really small and the only reason I knew anything about it is because I have a crush on the guy at the running store so I am there a lot. Good thing I showed up this morning as I have a NEW PERSONAL 5K RECORD OF 32:55.

I have done many many races in many different cities but this was as small town as they come. None of the streets on my route to the race were closed which is something I am used to and the finish line had one table with some water, Gatorade and some gross bars that looked like poo, seriously!! I made my way over to the registration table to inform them that I was going to do the 5K instead of the 10K they were most appreciative of my telling them so they exchanged my number and off I went to the starting line. I am using the term starting line VERY loosely because basically the 10k'ers were across the intersection from us while cars passed between us. Seriously this was hilarious. Once the Mayor of White Plains showed up to thank us all for coming out to support the hospital they blew the air horn and off we went.

This was the hilliest course I have ever done, if I was more techy I would be able to do a map my run but you'll just have to take my word for it since I am not so good with the tech stuff. I was moving at a pretty good clip for the first part of the race, I even ran up the first two hills. At the top of the second one I was huffing and puffing since the air was heavy and I my quads were burning so I decided to take a bit of a walk break. When I came around the turn and saw the 1 mile marker, the only marker on the entire course, there was a girl on the side so I asked her if she was ok. She informed me that she was running for 9 walking for 1 and that she was at her recovery moment...did I mention that just past her was the 1 mile marker?? That means that I ran about a 10 minute mile for the first mile anyway UMMMM really?? Finally a down hill and what a relief that was I ran the entire thing and kept going to where the water station was SUPPOSED to be, notice supposed to be, but was not and there was not a drip of water in sight.

I have no idea what my time was when I came to the long hill but I did not care as I walked up it. It was so hot and humid and with no water I was not pushing myself up that hill. Once I made the right turn onto the flat I decided that no matter where I was in the course I was running the rest and that for sure I was only running flat courses from now on. That was just tired Shosh talking obviously but still at that moment I was just thinking about those freaking hills. Since there were no clocks on the course and I don't have a Garmin or anything yet I thought I was moving pretty slow with the walk breaks and the unhelpful/unmotivating weather.

As I made the last left towards the finish I spotted the finish line clock and it read 31 something I almost passed out as that meant if I pushed it at the finish I would certainly beat my previous personal record of 34 minutes. Thank goodness this was a downhill finish and I was able to gain momentum. The momentum combined with my determination to come in sub 33 I hauled butt and crossed the finish line with a huge smile and a new fantastic personal record under my belt. I ran a sub eleven minute mile on average which is a huge success for me: remember I could not run a mile in high school and now I am doing a mile in less than 11 minutes with walk breaks.

This last race has shown me that I can do this and that with determination and downhill momentum my personal records may continue to be broken. I can hold my head up high and say look how far I have come and hopefully I can inspire those around me to break their own personal records. I will continue to run on the treadmill and I have decided to start increasing the distance so that next year I can run the 10K with no problem. Please remember that you can do anything that you put your mind to and that I will be in your ear cheering you every step of the way because if I can do this anyone can.

Gotta Love Ann Taylor

2008-09-27T08:00:00.006-04:00

I am still on the GOAL high. I seem to want to tell everyone that I see if I know them or not. What a great feeling!! Honestly though I am struggling with the scale and amount of food I eat but I am confident that I will be able to get it figured out. I do have a challenge coming up this week as Rosh Hashana starts Monday night. For those who don't know what that is it's the Jewish New Year, yup you got it Jews get to have two New Years celebrations. This one is nice since we're all about food but there is no ball drop at midnight and there is no champagne but it does give families a chance to come together to celebrate the season and another year of living a good life. If you know anything about Jews all of our holidays, except Yom Kippur where we fast, are centered around food and a huge meal. This year it will be different for my family as three of us are at WW goal and nobody wants to see a jump on the scale just because our family is together. My mom is hosting the dinner so I know exactly what we're having and I am pretty excited about it as it's all WW friendly.

Last night, Friday, my mom and I met to do some shopping. NONE of my clothes fit me and as happy as that makes me I had to come to terms with spending lots of money. I need work clothes that fit and jeans since these really baggy things look terrible as comfy as they may be. I have decided to get rid of all my size 12 clothing as they don't fit and never will again so there is no reason to keep them around. The 10's can stick around a bit longer as some days I am a bit more confident than others. We are business casual at my job so I don't have to wear suits thank goodness, been there done that and I do NOT miss it at all so I mostly shop at Banana Republic, JCrew and Ann Taylor. We started at Banana since it's my favorite and most of the time their clothes fit me...last night was not one of those times and honestly I started to revert back to my bad shopping attitude. The 8's did not fit and the 10's seemed too big and looked bad. I was pissed to say the least, all this weight lost and I am still struggling to shop WHAT THE?? I did end up with a pair of 8 jeans and two sweaters not exactly what I was hoping for but smaller sizes none the less.

We left there with me being sort of grumpy and feeling fat as we walked by Lucky Jeans...warning if you have a butt and hips do not even bother going in there. We stopped in because the name jeans gave us some confidence that they would have a selection and qualifed staff to help you. OK that was a complete bust and I left there feeling even worse. I could not get their 8's past my butt and the 10's were painted on so you can imagine the mood at that point. My mom suggested we head over to Ann Taylor since we usually do pretty well there. I grabbed a whole bunch of pants and some tops. I must say Christina was the most helpful Ann Taylor associate ever!! She really helped to boost my mood and brought me things that not only fit they made me look thin and were not old ladyish, which sometimes AT clothes are. I must have tried on ten pairs of pants ALL SIZE 8 that fit and looked good! Back to happy mood and once again feeling proud of my accomplishments. I ended up with 2 pairs of work pants, 1 pair of jeans and 4 tops. Then off to JCrew...got a cute sweater vest there and a t-shirt. After the emotional roller coaster of trying on clothes my mom and I went to grab dinner. There is a fantastic Peruvian place near us and if you've never had it I HIGHLY suggest it. It has an Asian influence with lots of fried rices and stuff but they also have lots of healthy seafood dishes. I had shrimp and rice YUMMMMM.

On my drive over to meet my mom there I had some time to think about my attitude while shopping and I realized how ridiculous I was acting. SO WHAT if the smaller size at BR did not really fit and the bigger size did not fit right ummmm that can only mean that my body is doing what I am asking it to do....CHANGE. My body is under construction at the moment and I need to be patient with it plus I had a lot of success at AT. We all talk about how the scale can influence your mood and for me trying on clothes has the same effect. I have decided that instead of focusing what does fit right now I need to happy about what doesn't fit right now...my size 22 clothes. I have come a long way on this journey and I cannot allow one night in the BR dressing room minimize my success and all of my hard work. It was one night and it will not define me.

I am doing a 10K (or 5K depending on how I feel) tomorrow morning. I went to the running store this morning to see the cute guy who works there (he was not there) and to decided to do the race.

Have a great day and to all my fellow Jews and anyone needing a fresh start...Shana Tova (Happy New Year!).

GOAL!!

2008-09-23T22:01:00.006-04:00

I DID IT!! Tonight at my Weight Watchers meeting I was at GOAL. I cannot believe it after all the ups and downs I have had with the scale over the last fews months that tonight the number said that I was where WW thought I should be. I am about 6 or 7 pounds from my personal goal but at this moment all that matters to me is that the number in the middle finally changed and I am there. When I got on my home scale this morning I knew that I had lost the .2 from last week that would get me to goal, I had in fact lost 1.8 pounds this week and my home scale in the morning(naked) showed the same number as the scale at my meeting in the evening. I had fries for dinner and I did not feel bad about it, they were delicious.

I ran home today to make my WW meeting. Since I started swimming on Tuesdays I have had to change my work schedule and I moved my meeting time too so that I can keep Mary as my leader, she's soooooooooo important to this journey. The meeting starts at 5:45 but I get there at about 5:55 or 6:00 since the train lets me out at 5:25 or so. I ran in and there was a line, it's nice that the meeting is getting bigger again, that means that they won't close it. My aunt was there, she reached goal last week, waiting for me with my card. I had texted Mary earlier in the day to make sure she was not at jury duty because I had a feeling that my scale was not too far off and if it was it would only be a bit high since that's usually what it is. Anyway, I got on the scale and Beth, the receptionist, gave me the thumbs up...I WAS THERE!!! I raised my arms as if I was crossing the finish line even though I know that I am far from finished since there is no end to this life long journey. I caught Mary's eye and she knew that I had done it. Beth came around the desk and asked if I was celebrating and with that she gave me a huge hug, she had been there every week as I fought with the scale trying to figure out how I could get my body to accept what I am asking it to do. She's amazing, she has lost over 80 pounds and has kept it off for years...what an inspiration. My aunt was there with a hug too as she has also been there for me through this.

The last two weeks I have increased the amount of high quality food and protein that I have been eating and that really seems to be doing the trick for me. I will now lose one POINT a day at my new weight according to WW but I am going to continue to eat 100 extra calories a day since I clearly need the food. At the end of a WW meeting they do the awards and Mary stopped the meeting to tell everyone that she had a very special award to give out tonight...THAT I WAS AT GOAL. She had me come to the front of the room where she hugged me and told me how proud she was of me. I cried as I embraced her as I know that without her caring and unwaivering support I would never have made it. I love the little charm they give out for goal and I cannot wait to get the one for Lifetime (just 6 more weeks!!) I am dedicated to this but without a great cheerleader it's hard to keep going especially with those seemingly never ending plateaus. She had me speak to the entire meeting, there was a group of new people there who had never heard my story. I explained that I have lost a total of 72.4 pounds and that although it has been a struggle at times you can never give up and that if I can do this so can they.

Writing that number or saying it out loud helps me to keep my head up higher. I have battled the scales, I have battled my own inner demons, I am able to look in the mirror and actually see the results of all my hard work. I have changed my life into one that I am proud to live, I have become someone who inspires others with a story of success. I went from a 231 pound out of shape woman who thought she was cute to a 158 pound athlete who proudly talks about her weight loss journey who knows that she is beautiful inside and out. It has taken me a long time to accept myself for who I am and to know that it is OK to be proud of what I have accomplished and because of that I am looking forward to what it yet to come.

I thank each and every one of you for reading this blog and encouraging me. Without your support I certainly would not be as confident in myself or my story. So thank you again from the bottom of my (fit/strong) heart.

An Amazing Experience

2008-09-22T19:31:00.011-04:00

Yesterday morning at 4:20am when the alarm went off I was wondering what I was thinking when I agreed to body mark the triathletes at the Westchester Triathlon. It was dark and cold when I left my house although I did have a non-scale victory of being able to wear fleece pants under my jeans, that felt good. I arrived at the site at 5am as was asked by my triathlon coach. I was amazed at the organization of the event. All of the racks for the bikes in the transition area were set up and lined up by number. I checked in with the volunteer tent, picked up my yellow "CREW" shirt, grabbed a Sharpie and started to write bib numbers and ages on other humans. It was a learning experience for sure, I learned that it's hard to write on really hairy people, I learned that young men have very tight calves, I learned that no matter what shape they're in people don't really like to tell you how old they are and I learned that triathletes are nice people who appreciate the volunteers. But most importantly I learned that MOST of the participants are between the ages of 30 & 40 something, except for the team from USMA who were 18-20. I was thanked more times than I can count just for writing on people. The body marking area was crazy since the transition area closed at 6:30 and then there was a pre-race meeting. By the time I was done with my first task for the day this is what I was greeted with. Mother Nature although starting the day cold was giving the racers and the volunteers something to look forward to: a warm and sunny day. While I was standing around waiting for the swimmers to start I noticed a man in a wheelchair with a number on wheel himself with his team toward the beach. I can honestly say I was in awe. I had seen a man with a prostesis in the body marking area but I did not think too much of it until I saw this man. It makes you stop and think...holy moly what an amazing athlete. I looked down the beach and here are the swimmers,
all waves waiting to make their plunge into the Long Island Sound...rumor had it that the water was warmer than the air...yeah right. The elite swimmers took off at 7am sharp. Here they are...

Once the swimmers were underway I was asked to report to the finish line even though it would be about 2 hours until the first elite athlete crossed the finish line. There was a ton to do, we had to move bagels, fruit, peanut butter and jelly to the table to be given out to hungry finishers. We opened all of the medals that would be given out to everyone that crossed the finish line. Everyone was so nice and really excited to be there. Three of us were asked to please come over to do traffic control since the first runners would soon be on the course and we cannot have people milling about in their way. Ummmm getting people off of the course even with yellow caution tape proved to be as easy as hearding cats. People get all bent when you asked them to please pick a side and stay there. Personally I would have laughed to see some of them get tackled by the athletes. On the race course is where the most amazing part of this experience really hit me. First of all the elite runners have amazing bodies and move with such ease that I could only hope to make something like this look easy. I was standing at Mile 2 on the run course which was a slight uphill with grass so it was a good place to be. There were people of all shapes, sizes, ages and races which is to be expected at any race. It was also a big Team in Training event so there were lots of purple tops to be seen and it's so easy to cheer for them since you know that they are doing this after raising tons of money for cancer research.

As I mentioned I had seen a man with one leg in the body marking area and I made a note of him but what I didn't realize is how many athletes there were who were missing body parts. I saw at least 5 people who were missing parts of their legs and 2 or 3 people who were missing hands or parts of arms. But the man who sticks out in my mind was the double amputee who had two prostesis at different points on this legs. He was running unassisted up the hill where I was standing. I was so proud to be there cheering him on as he did this and at the same time it really put everything in perspective for me. I complain about things in my life as everyone does but in the grand scheme of things are those piddly things that important?My life is great, I have all of my body parts, I am able to go for a run, ride, swim or whatever whenever I want, all I have to do is put on my shoes. I was impressed, encouraged, awed and impressed with the challenged athletes. Seeing how amazing they were just pushed me to be a better, stronger, more focused athlete because it just goes to show you that anything is possible with determination and dedication.

At the finish line there were announcements being made of all of the finishers as they crossed, it's like your 15 seconds of sports fame :-) When they got to Karen Newman they gave a little background on her...she's in her early 40's and is currently battling Stage 3 Breast Cancer with chemo. She is bald and cried when she crossed the finish line and was greeted by admirers and family. I was on the verge of tears when I saw her, how could you not be? She is truly an inspiration and I am thankful to have been there to see her finish this race with the hopes that I will see her there next year and for many years to come. She is the reason that I do The Race for the Cure and try as hard as I can do races for a cause. It is my way of giving back and giving thanks for my health and life.

The last two weekends have been very eye opening for me and I am thankful that I have experienced them. I get wrapped up in the day to day things and I lose sight of what is important. Living life to the fullest, being thankful for the life that I have been given, being happy about something every day, smiling even when I am not sure I want to, getting out and training for my own good and for the good of others.

Experiment Update

2008-09-17T09:11:00.007-04:00

Last week I decided that I was not giving my body enough fuel to keep up with everything that I was asking of it. I am asking it to lose weight, build muscle and run/bike/swim multiple days a week oh yeah and I still have to function during the day. The experiment was to eat 2 extra POINTS a day, that is about 100 extra calories a day. That does not even sound like that much considering on a 30 minute run I can burn more than 200 calories but it was a good start for the experiment. Well I am happy to report that my body gave up another pound this week!!! Yup I am back to being .2 lbs away from WW goal. What a relief it was to get on the scale last night at my meeting and see that my experiment had worked. I cannot believe that I actually said that getting on the scale was a relief, who am I??

Last night was not only my WW meeting it was my second Swim with Flow class. The 5 of us were in the pool for an hour and I have to say it gets cold standing and listening to Laura, our instructor, give us direction. We share the pool with the water aerobics group, I think that it's probably a fantastic workout and it is probably easy on the joints but I cannot ever see myself doing one of those classes. But more power to those ladies who sit on their noodles and move around in the water. OK back to the class: I learned that I have strong legs which equals a strong kick in the water. Basically I need to slow my legs down to help maintain my stamina in the water, apparently my strong kicks are wearing me out. Hmmmmm who would have thunk? We worked on shifting our weight from one arm to the other and breathing without having the arm in the water cross the body. Swimming is a lot more techinical than I ever could have imagined. For whatever reason I was the #1 student last night, all that means is that I had to go first every time. That was a lot of pressure but actually I was doing really well, she made very few adjustments to my arm and head position. That was great because all I could concentrate on was slowing my kick. That hour in the pool flies by and it's a great workout, I am usually hungry when I get out. Looking foward to getting in the pool this week to work on my skills.

This is going to be a busy week/weekend for me. I have to carefully plan my workouts as I find that I not only need them for weight loss I also need them to help me feel good about myself. In my meeting last night my leader asked me to talk about my weight loss journey, how much I have lost and my fitness, remember I am shy in crowds. For whatever reason in my WW meeting I am very comfortable and I find it easy to openly talk about this journey. I freely talk about how I was stuck on a plateau for 10 weeks and seem to be one on now. I talk about how I cannot give up no matter what the scale says or how frustrated I may be. I explain about my careful planning before I leave my house for work, a game of golf or dinner out with friends. I openly talk about how I could not run 4 laps around the track in H.S. but now I have completed a full marathon and am training for triathlons. I am not shy about the fact that when I moved back to NY I put on 30 pounds and that I know I was too thin in the 140's. My shyness may disappear in my meeting because I like letting people know that if I can do this so can they. It may be because I am 100% sure that nobody is judging me, they are listening and maybe, just maybe, I am inspiring them never to give up on their dreams of a longer, heathlier life.

The Race for the Cure Report

2008-09-14T15:51:00.019-04:00

Here are the WJCS(Westchester Jewish Community Services) Women 4 Women...this is the team I ran The Race for the Cure NYC with today. From left to right: Miki, Leslie, Maria, Rochelle (my mom) and me. What a fantastic team of women, together we raised $1599 for Breast Cancer Research. Back in May or so I told my mom that she needed to do this race as it would be good for her training, it's a race but nothing too strenuous and it's for breast cancer. She agreed after all she IS doing a half marathon next month so what's 3.1 miles? We also invited another co-worker of hers to do it and shortly after that the team was formed. As you can see we were a small team and we all come from different fitness levels but we all came out early on a Sunday morning to do this. There were approximately 25,000 people who did The Race for the Cure this morning and no matter how many races I do I always get choked up when I see that people are running in honor of or in memory of someone they loved who is fighting or who has lost the fight with this terrible disease. What gets me the most are the signs that say "I am celebrating ME", those are usually on the backs of women (and in fewer cases men) in pink survivor shirts who have fought the disease and are here to talk about it. As much as today was about a personal record for me it is so much more than that, it is about doing what I can to make sure there are more and more pink shirts every year.

The forecast for today was for some rain and humidity, guess which part of the weather report was right?? Not the rain part. My mom and I met on the train to Grand Central at 6:29a.m. and it was so humid I could not believe it. It was probably in the 70's and 80 or so percent humidity, that's just totally gross. It did not stop us from smiling for a self portrait on the train though, I don't look nearly as good as my mom but you get the point. We ate our breakfast, drank some water and were awed by how many people were on the train at 6:29 in the morning on a Sunday, not racers just people. Ummmm where the heck are these people going?? Our train got in at 7:09 and we were meeting Maria at the clock, if you have ever been to GCT you know that this is the easiest and most popular meeting place is all of NYC. We were all on time and off we headed with our warm up walk of 1.5 miles to 72nd and Central Park West to meet up with the rest of the team. It took us a little over 30 minutes to get up there and by the time we arrived everyone was feeling a bit warm, the humidity had started to rise and was about 90% now FANTASTIC. As you can see we all met up, posed for a little team photo and off we headed to drop our bags and get lined up for the 9:25 start. It is always so nice to see the different people that are out to do this race. There are teenage guys, they always surprise me the most, couples, singles, families and breast cancer survivors...they are the most impressive if you ask me.

Cynthia Nixon was the Grand Marshall and she was OK as a speaker but when Steven Colbert came on I was cracking up. He's a really funny guy and someone I love to watch on TV. They started the elite women and survivors 9:20. Next up the runners, I am so proud to say that I am now part of that group. It is official I AM A RUNNER. I started out running with Miki, my mom and the rest of the team were pretty sure they were walking the race and we would meet up at the finish line. The race started at 77th and Central Park West in front of the Museum of Natural history and turned into Central Park at 91st street. I crossed the start line at 7:15 (seven minutes fifteen seconds) after the first start. It was impossible to really get your own space for the first mile or so since this race is huge and even though the walkers were supposed to start just behind the runners there are always those who just do what they want and honestly they are hazards for people trying to run around them. I was running with Miki until we turned into the park and then I lost her, I think that I pulled ahead of her. I had to run on the grass in some spots to avoid running over people and man was I sweating up a storm. Finally a water station just before Mile 1 where I heard someone say "We're at about 12:01", OH NO that was way behind the pace I wanted to be at so I pushed myself a little more since I was going for 33 minutes, 1 minute less than the Detroit Race. On this course there are some smaller rolling hills which in the past would have been a signal that I needed to walk but not today, clearly my hill training at the gym has paid off. I cruised up and down the hills between miles 1 and 2. I could tell that this upped pace and the humidity were really getting to me just past the Mile 2 marker and I had to walk, no shame in that I had run over 2 miles already. I was starting to get that sick feeling in my stomach and being that the only thing as stake was 1 minute I felt OK about my decision.

It's hard to run alone with no iPod so I was thankful for the crowds, volunteers and cheerleaders all along the course. What a diffence it makes. Somewhere towards the end of Mile 2 I was starting to really poop out so I started with my mantra: I am strong. I am beautiful. I am an athlete. That seemed to help move me along and I crossed the finish line at just over 42 minutes, substract the fact that I started at 7:15 and you get 35 minutes. It was 1 minute over my last 5K and 2 minutes over what I was aiming for but I was smiling and satisfied when I finished after all I ran 97% of it and I crossed the finish line.

I knew that my mom was behind me and they would not allow me to stay in the finish area so I decided to walk back until I found her which I did just before the marker for Mile 3. I screamed her name and joined her. She was really booking and she was so happy to see me, you should have seen her face when I ran up to her. She was telling me how she jogged part of it and that when she was not jogging she was power walking. We started to run together and my mom finished her first 5K in 41 minutes!!!! I was choked up when we crossed the finish line together. She's amazing my mother and I am so proud of her and all that she has been able to accomplish. We waited for Maria and Leslie to finish, we are a team after all. I ran into Miki at the finish line but I think that she took off with her boyfriend. Once Maria and Leslie finished we all got water, some fruit and said our good-byes to Leslie who thought she would be crawling across the finish line...NOPE she didn't, she walked across with her head held high. My mom, Maria and I walked the 1.5 miles back to GCT and waited for our trains all with a sense of accomplishment for what we had done. We talked about getting a bigger team together for next year and maybe adding The Race for Women's Cancer into the mix (also a 5K). There is something to be said for people coming together to do good things for others.

This has gone on way too long, hope you're not drooling on your keyboard. I am proud of my accomplishments, I am proud of my mom and of our team but mostly I am proud of those breast cancer survivors who were able to cross the finish line today.

Swim with Flow

2008-09-10T21:08:00.005-04:00

That's the class that I am taking at the Y and last night was my first one. The number of people in the class is limited to 5 and I was having an anxiety attack about being in a class with people I don't know in a bathing suit to boot. Nobody believes that I am shy in real life, I am, I get really nervous meeting new people because I have a fear of being judged. So taking a class in the pool would of course cause me some stress.

One thing that I have noticed at all of the Y's that I have belonged to is that people have no shame, ladies walk all over naked, sit on the benches and stuff. It's weird but whatever it's a nice gym and I NEVER sit on the benches, ever. While I was getting into my suit someone asked me if I was taking a class and when I replied yes someone from across the locker room said that she was too. She had an IronMan backpack so that made me totally nervous but Perry turned out to be cool and knowing her before walking into the pool area seemed to calm my fears a bit. She had done 3 IronMan races and is taking this class to help with her swimming, well being a swim class that's kind of obvious. Anyway, we get to the pool deck and meet the aquatics director who will be our teacher and we find out that we're the only women in the class...the other three are men. That was kind of cool because I think that men are more patient and it's nice to mix it up a bit. Mario, Bruce and Chris are all really nice. It seems like we're going to have a good time swimming with flow the next 8 weeks. There is so much to swimming, more than I had originally thought to be honest. Last night we worked on keeping our eyes focused on the bottom of the pool, that sounds a lot easier than it really is LOL. I do feel that this was a good investment in my triathlon training because I will certainly be a stronger more efficient swimmer at the end of this, there is nothing bad about that.

Before my swim class I had my usual Tuesday weigh in. I was bracing for a gain, I was down all week and I was super careful, on program and working out pretty hard but my home scale shot up in the morning. The WW scale had me at a point 4 loss. I was truly disappointed, I cannot lie about that. This weight loss journey is so frustrating and rewarding at the same time. I do all this exercise for so many reasons, I want to live a long healthy life, I want to fit back into all of my size 6 clothes and I want to lose weight. There are all these people around me who do so little if any exercise and they are all losing week after week and I have earned 19 AP's and lost .4, how is that possible?? I am once again convinced that I am not fueling my body enough based on what I am asking of it.

I am training for races while trying to lose weight and stength training to build muscle. My body has no idea what it's supposed to do and I think that based on the 22 POINTS I get a day I am not providing it enough nutrition. I took my frustration and I decided that I am going to really focus on FUELING my body to achieve my goal. Mary and I spoke today and we decided that I need to increase my Daily POINTS to 24 with additions of healthy proteins. Being a vegetarian it's sometimes hard to get enough good protein so I have decided to buy fresh fish on my way home from work a few nights a week. If that does not do the trick then I will try something else until I find a combo that makes this body happy.

This is a journey without a true end or destination. I will always be someone who has to pay close attention to what I put in my mouth, it may not be fun all the time but it is just a fact of my life. I will always work out and raise the bar of what I can achieve that way I will not become complaisant, I know that I can acheive whatever I put my mind to no matter how hard. I cannot give up on getting to my goal on the scale, crossing the finish line at The Race for the Cure on Sunday with a PR, crossing the finish line in Baltimore with my mom at her first half marathon, and once again going after a PR in the Detroit Free Press half marathon. There is always something to push for and something to try. A friend sent me an email today about a team of women who fundraise for Africa and they participate in 3 Peaks 3 Weeks Challenge. They have no more room for the January 2009 team but we're looking into trying to get onto the January 2010 team. This could be my next long term goal and in the end not only will I benefit but the planet will too. How could I not feel great about that.

Just because something is expensive

2008-09-08T10:44:00.011-04:00

does not mean that it looks good on you. That is what I was thinking yesterday as I people watched waiting for the mall to open, Michelle was blessed with a text about it, I could not resist. Seriously people just because you paid a lot of money for something does not mean that you should ignore the mirror. OK that said I looked at what I had purchased on Saturday and although it was not expensive it did not look good on me...so back the two shirts went. I am doing The Race for the Cure on Sunday and I wanted to get a pink running tank to wear but those are impossible to find for some reason, that was one of the tops I returned. The link about takes you to my personal fundraising page if you're interested in making a donation to a great organization.

On Saturday the tri-state area was bracing for Tropical Storm Hanna which in my opionion turned out to be a complete DUD. She did dump a ton of rain on us, about 5 hours after they originally said she would and we hardly got any of the 50-60 mph winds they were predicting. I guess that was a blessing but still, I was hoping for a good show by Mother Nature. I did meet my WW leader Mary for lunch on Saturday after my morning workouts, run/bike at the Y and my personal trainer with my mom. We shared Mahi Mahi tacos and a salad, then it was on to shopping in the mall. We got the same cute sweater at Banana Republic which we both agreed would never be worn at our Tuesday meeting. It was fun shopping with her and spending time together outside of our meeting. She's truly a fantastic friend and a leader I strive to be like. She has really pushed me to work forWW and promoted me to them which I am happy to hear. I did get a call on Saturday from someone at WW in my area asking if I was going to attend the informational session this Tuesday night. I sadly told them that I could not due to my own WW meeting and my first swim class. HOLY GOODNESS that's tomorrow!! One of my stops on Saturday was the running store where I purchased my lastest pair of running shoes, they are purple (the 80's are making a come back even in running shoes) and so comfy. I wanted to make sure that I had them before this weekends "race" and that they were sufficiently broken in before the two half marathons next month (check the widgets).

I did get an email from my triathlon coach to be asking if I would volunteer at an upcoming triathlon...what better way to get in the mood and get comfortable in the tri atmosphere. The Westchester Triathlon is sponsored by the Rye Y and it's one of the events that I will be doing next year. He has me signed up for....body marking and finish line. OK I totally get the finish line and what I may have to do but being responsible for correctly marking peoples bodies now that is something else completely. I think that I will be able to handle it but holy moly that's a lot of pressure especially for someone dyslexic like me. I am hoping to meet some of the people who are part of the Rye Tri team who I will be training with come February...this is when something you talk about becomes reality.

Sunday was gorgeous here in the East. I played 9 holes of golf with my mom and step dad in the Bronx, yes in the Bronx. It was a gorgeous course and we were playing with a nice, young, recently graduation dentist who works at a hospital in the Bronx. That must be a real eye opener for him being from Illinois and all. He was patient and a really nice addition to our game. My step dad is a great player, he has real control of the ball and most of his shots go where he wants them to. My mom and I are not even at the point where we keep score because who can count that high, no really, we're getting better each game and I even had a few pars yesterday. Dave, my step dad, says that my game is improving because of the strength I am developing working with the trainer and swimming. Sounds good to me and it's yet another benefit of being an athlete, yes I said it. Michael, the guy we were playing with, was amazed at how many sports I participate in. Skiing, swimming, biking, running/walking and golf. WOW looks like I might be an athlete after all. I was exhausted last night when we were done with the game, we walked the course after I had done my 30 minute swim in the morning. Dave and my mom headed to the Mets game after golf they had invited me but being a sad Yankee fan and being exhausted prevented me from actually going. I was in bed at 9 and I woke up rested which is great.

It's funny when other people notice and comment on this lifestyle. My step mom, Hava, made a comment about how I hold myself now. She said that I hold my shoulders and head up, like an athlete. Then yesterday talking about all the stuff I do really drove home the point...I am working towards goals: losing weight for good and becoming an athlete are the two main ones. I am 100% sure that I am going to achieve both of them on the path that I am on and once I get there I will once again have to move the bar. After all, that's what this is all about always striving to be better, stronger, fitter but most of all happy with who I am and what I have become.

The Vacation Wrap Up

2008-09-03T09:12:00.021-04:00

WOW it seems like forever since I last posted when in fact it was only a week ago. UMMMM is it really September already? Where has the summer gone? This morning the train was so crowded with everyone back from their summer trips yup, summer is over here in NY. So I had a wonderful trip to Michigan I did something that I have not done in a long long time, I RELAXED, napped and just layed low. What a treat for me since I so rarely get to do that. I spent time with my dad, step mom and three very dear friends all while sticking to my workout schedule and eating on program (most of the time). I did have a gain this week which discouraged me, 1.6 pounds, to me that's a lot but I was on VACATION, I have to remember that. It's a good thing that I went to a WW meeting last night because the topic was "Stop Dieting and Start Living", it also happens to be their most recent ad campaign.

I flew out on Thursday morning and arrived in Michigan to cloudy skies and cool weather, it was sunny when I left NY. I was so happy to see my dad as it had been a few months since we'd hung out. We had spoken in advance of my arrival and he was meeting a friend for lunch and I was meeting some friends for dinner, Lora and Andrea to be exact. Since he was going to be out in the afternoon that left me time to head over to the Y near his house, perfect! The Y there was not nearly as nice as mine but it had what I needed to meet my vacation fitness goals. Here are the workouts I completed while away, not to far off from the proposed plan from last week:

Thursday: Run/Bike
Friday: Bike/Strength Train
Sunday: Run/Bike
Monday: Swim/Strength Train

Saturday was an off day as I got home really late from visiting with a friend. OK back to Thursday. I actually took a nap after the gym, what a treat. I used to be an expert napper, before the weight loss and stuff I was really tired all the time from sitting on my butt. Go figure. Anyway, I met up with my dear friends from GM Lora and Andrea. I have spoken about them before, we used to work together at GM and have been friends forever. About 2 months ago I talked Andrea into doing the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon with me on October 19, it's cool because you get to run through Canada and my dad will be at the start/finish lines. Over dinner we were talking to Lora about signing up to walk her first half marathon, she had been approached by another friend too so we were just adding to the encouragement. Lora is in fantastic shape and although she was on the fence she called me on Monday, after I called her on Sunday to prod her again, to tell me that she had signed up for her first half marathon! That's the third person this year who I get to see cross the finish line at their first event, does it get better than that?? I am thankful for their unwaivering friendship and I am so looking forward to the race now, I get to start and finish with some of my dearest friends.

Friday was another workout and lunch with my dad in the town I used to live in, Birmingham. It's a small town that I LOVED. I could walk into town from my condo, yes I walked to town. Birmingham had lots of little shops, a huge movie theater, plenty of places to eat and of course a chocolate shop. It has changed a lot since I left 5 years ago, the economy in Michigan is terrible and the stores are feeling the pinch. My favorite shoe store closed down after being there for 11 years, the shoe store next door was in the process of shutting down too. They have opened a cupcake store next door the chocolate shop, maybe that's why Michigan is one of the fattest states in the nation. It makes me sad because those local places make the town a town. That night I met my friend Matt for dinner.

Matt and I have been friends for almost 8 years. He's someone that I consider one of my closest friends even though we have had our ups and downs. Usually it's me turning my back on him because of a new guy or whatever I like everyone else have flaws. The truth is Matt has stuck by me through thick and thin. We were together on Sept 11 when the towers came down, he had me hang out at his house instead of being home in front of the TV while my city was crashing down. He listened as I called friends here to see that they were OK, my best friend Kerry worked above Grand Central in the old Pan Am building and they too were evacuated. When I bought my condo Matt was there to help me paint, pick up the dishwasher and some other very helpful stuff. We did need a break after that, as I said I have my flaws and I made him completely crazy. But as good friends do we patched things up. I had surgery and Matt stood by me and came over to make sure that I was doing OK. When I left for Cali he supported my decision as best he could, I was happy after all. When my relationship with Kyle was strained, which it was for a majority of the 4 years I was in Nor Cal, Matt was there encouraging me to leave, to take control over my life and get out. When I arrived in Michigan last May Matt was there. We met with some other friends for dinner and it was like being home. Of course I sort of drifted away when I started dating Rich, I find it hard to explain to a new boyfriend that I have this very close male friend that is something that I need to figure out. It was such a treat to finally get to spend some alone time with Matt this last trip, when I was there in May it was too hectic. We went to dinner and it was just comfortable and easy to talk to him, it's as if all that time had never passed which is what makes someone a good friend. We sat up until 2 am talking about stuff being single, dating, and life in general. I am thankful that time and distance have not erroded our friendship.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday were all about my dad and step mom. We relaxed, sat out at the lake and went to dinner to celebrate my dad's 63rd birthday. Here we are on the river. It was a gorgeous night and behind us is Canada, it's so funny how close another country is. That's my dad the day before his real birthday, doesn't he look happy. Since I have moved back to NY I have gotten to spend more time with him which is important to both of us. When I lived in Michigan we saw each other all the time and spoke more than once a day so it's nice that we are once again able to have a close relationship. I have gained so much in the last year or so since coming back to NY. I have rebuilt important relationships, I have been able to spend a lot more quality time with people who are important to me and I have found the path to finding what makes me truly happy. I have taken on my weight demons head on and I am doing everything that I can to be assured a long, happy, healthy life with WW. I have to take what Mary, my leader said last night and use it to push through days when I think that I am on a diet. I need to live my life and be happy, the weight will come off and the scale cannot be the barometer for my happiness. I gained this week because I was out living, I did not gain as much as I could have because my lifestyle drives me to be conscious of what I am eating and being active affords me the luxury to indulge when I am out celebrating my long term frienships or my father's life...all of which are worth living for.

So close

2008-08-27T09:19:00.008-04:00

Yet it seems so far. Here I sit literally .2 pounds from WW goal, yes .2 and it's torture. After all my working out this past weekend I only lost .4, it's a loss yes but at the same time it's kind of disappointing. That is why I am convinced that this weight is coming off for good, it has been a long hard journey and I never want to travel it again. I am a bit stressed about the long weekend coming up, I am leaving tomorrow morning bright and early for Michigan to see my dad and step mom. I love going out there as they live on a lake and it's really like a vacation. This is a view of our backyard, that's the lake at the end of the lawn...just a few more hours. There are no motorboats allowed which increases the vacation feel. My two step sisters and my niece and nephew left yesterday so my parents are in decompression mode, I guess having me there will be relaxing for them. I am going armed with a plan which is something that in the past I never would have even considered but I am in training and really trying to get rid of this last .2. Since I am a member of the Y in NY I can use any Y for free (up to 20 visits) and there is one not too far from my dad's house. I even worked out my fitness plan to make sure that I don't miss a workout even though I will be on vacation. I wonder if I was at goal and did not have two half marathons coming up if I would feel more comfortable letting my training slide for a few days....

Here is the plan, keep in mind I fly out early tomorrow morning:

Thursday: Run
Friday: Swim and Strength Train
Saturday: Run
Sunday: Swim and Bike
Monday: Walk around the lake

There it is, written on the internet. Of course these workouts won't be happening at 5:30 in the morning like my current ones. Today I did 3.25 miles in 36 minutes, that included a 5 minute walk as a warm up. That brings a smile to my face because I am trying to get my 5K time under 34 minutes and if I ran that first part I would have. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!! Remember, I could not run 4 laps around the track in high school. It's amazing what I can look back on now and say that I CAN do this or that. Like shopping in the "normal" size stores. Shopping used to be torture for me and for my mom as she is my shopping companion, she dreaded it as much as I did for so many reasons. Before there were Plus Size stores people like me had to try to fit into size 16 clothes which we not cut or designed for anyone who was serverly overweight, like me. Once Lane Bryant opened I was relieved that at least there was a store for me and at that point it did not matter that I was a size 20 or 22, that most important thing was that the clothes FIT. I shopped there for years and I think that I still have a dress from there but now my mom and I can both fit into it.

I can honestly say that I have no idea what made me join WW in the first place but I do know that I had weight issues my entire life. I was on and off the Program forever and in my meeting the other night we talked about all of the plans that they have gone through. I luckily missed the liver/tuna plan THANK GOODNESS. But I did do Fat and Fiber, the original POINTS program and now obviously the TURN AROUND program. To me, that's the most appropriately named program, you really are turning your life around. You turn everything around...my feet and knees no longer hurt under the weight of my body when I get up in the morning in fact they have carried me through 91.7 miles of half marathons and 26.2 miles of a full marathon, I no longer order something off the menu "as is", I no longer have to shop in the Plus Size store, I no longer have high cholesterol, I no longer have to wear shorts with my bathing suit (although I might just because), I no longer walk around carrying the weight equal to another person. I have turned so much around with WW and my own determination...I wear shirts without sleeves (although maybe I shouldn't), I CAN RUN A MILE, I can shop where I want and most stuff looks good on me, I have inspired others to join the program and live healthier lives, I can say that I was 231 pounds when I started this journey 70 something pounds ago and I know that I will never go back there. I did this for me, for a better, longer, healthier life, I have to take the credit for it.

In the grand scheme of things this .2 pounds is really just that, .2 pounds and based on what I have lost and gained over the last few years it's really not that big of deal.

Weekend Update...

2008-08-24T06:45:00.010-04:00

WHEW is it really Sunday evening already?? What a downer although being that it's a short week I really cannot complain, I am leaving for Michigan on Thursday morning. I have had a great few days and if I wrote everything here it would be much longer than anyone would care to read, including me. So here are some highlights...

I hit the pool on Thursday morning for the first time in about two and a half weeks. Between my house guest and my fear of swimming with other people in my lane I have made a few excuses not to get into the pool. I have been doing some thinking and completing a triathlon of any distance would be really difficult without the swim, so in I went. It was CROWDED, the Greenwich Y has a crack in their pool and Rye is the closest one to them, HOLY MOLY!! I had to share a lane with someone else, it was the slow lane so I figured I was safe. This had to be my best swim yet, OK there are only a few others to compare it to but it was smooth, strong and I felt great after. Following the 30 minute swim I hit the weights in the gym upstairs. I love looking at my body in the mirror to see the muscles contracting, that sounds so self absorbed but it really is something that I am proud of, it means that all of this training is paying off. I showered at the gym and headed to the foot doctor to pick up my orthodics...I hope you're sitting down because $550 later I had better be the fastest I have ever been. YUP, that's how much they cost since they are an exclusion on my health insurance OUCH. I have been wearing them and I have to say they were worth the expense (I have added a pic for emphasis).

Saturday morning I met my mom at Strata Health Club for our personal training session with Brian, yet another chance to check out the muscles. HEHE. When our hour was up we ran a few errands, including buying some Clif Shot Blox for our 13 mile walk on Sunday. Once those were done we headed north to Fishkill for 12 holes of golf. Now we both use the term "play" VERY loosely when we talk about golf but something must have been in the water at the gym because we both played GREAT! I mean getting longer drives off the tee and even getting some nice distance and loft on the fairway. My pitching and putting needs a lot of help but those will come with time and practice. Without my step dad there coaching us we had to make some decisions on which clubs to use for what shots on our own and I must say...WE ROCKED!! We both drove home feeling fantastic and looking forward to our time together on Sunday. Now since everyone has a mother you know that sometimes spending too much time together can lead to fights and disagreements as close as my mom and I are we certainly have our share of those. On Tuesday when we talked about playing golf alone on Saturday my mom wrote me an email in which she wrote "We should kill each other out there" I got that and I was like WHAT?? So I responded to her about it asking "should" or "could", she called me and could not stop laughing, she had mistyped and all I could do was laugh. I did ask her not to email anyone else for the rest of the day as well they might not think a typo was as funny as we did.

Sunday was another day of mother-daughter bonding. We headed to Pocantico, it is a NY State Park and it's otherwise known as the Rockefeller Park Preserve. We have walked there before but never this far. We planned on doing 13 or so miles so that my mom could be 100% sure that she can do the distance come Baltimore in October, I have been sure she can do it since she agreed to take on this endevor with me but you cannot convince someone else of their abilities. We started at 8:15 on a gorgeous over cast morning with low humidity which is the complete opposite of the weather last time we headed out to do this distance, what a difference the weather makes. I have to say that the time we were out there flew by and I am known as a clock watcher or in the case of working out a mile watcher but not today I was just enjoying the scenery but most of all the company. My mom and I started with a quick 2.2 miles around the lake before we headed off into the rest of the park. There were tons of people out, most of them young, attractive MALE trail runners, if I knew who to thank I would say thank you for adding the eye candy to our training route this morning. We were greeted by a chipmunk and a deer plus about 10 ducks just chilling by the lake, there is something to soothing about seeing wildlife while training for a half marathon. We packed our Blox, snacks and water for our adventure and I once again had to remind my mom when it was time to eat each of them, once a WW always a WW. I am so thankful that she and I have such a tight bond, she has become my training partner and my biggest cheerleader, who could ask for a better combo. Unfortunately we only did 12 miles and they seemed easy since had so much to look at and admire ;-) I say they were easy but honestly walking on the paths is harder than the sidewalk/roads we usually trek along so our legs were much more tired. It worried me a bit for my mom that we did not do all 13 but she was satisfied and confident when we were done. She is now 100% sure she can complete the half marathon in Baltimore YEAH!!! I did end up with a huge blister on the ball of my foot, so not pretty but totally worth it.

My mom and I talk about what we used to do on weekends...shop and eat. Before we started training together we would meet for lunch and then go shopping. It really is amazing how easily life can change. We have talked about how this has really given us focus and more importantly it gives us something that is just ours. The time we carve out for training is time for her and I, something that is hard to come by with our busy lives but something that we both look forward to and cherish. We benefit from the time together, I have a fantastic training partner who is nothing less than a superhero to me and my mom has gotten a training partner to help push her to the limit and then push her just a little more. When WE cross that finish line in October I will be able to look at my 58 year old fit, strong mother and once again tell her how proud I am of her something she has told me so many times in the last year and throughout my life.

My home scale...

2008-08-20T08:55:00.009-04:00

Is on it's way out the window. I know that it's the number one rule with WW not to weigh yourself every day but I have to, it keeps me on track...kind of. For whatever reason my home scale is WILDLY inaccurate yet I cannot seem to stop using it. My routine is that I weigh myself first thing in the morning completely naked, come on that's when it's supposed to be the most accurate, and I record the number every day so that I can see the flucuations etc. Tuesday night is my weigh in night and typically whatever I weigh in the morning on my scale I weigh in the evening on their scale, as I said there is something off with my scale. Yesterday morning my home scale was up over a pound, I have NO idea how that happened as I have been on program, working out and I got my monthly visitor on Saturday, usually all reasons I lose. The entire day I was wondering how I gained all that weight, it just makes no sense. I always pack a lighter lunch on Tuesdays because I don't want to add any additional weight during the day, I sound a little kooky when I read that. Anyway, I get to weigh in completely expecting a huge, unexplained gain and it turns out it was only.....point 2, yes .2 ummmm that's like staying the same. I still don't get it but now I really have to rethink how I am using my points and if I should be eating more of my Activity Points.

My leader was not there last night so I did not stay for the meeting, I felt no loyalty to the sub leader and I had dinner plans with my mom and step dad. I did have a chance to speak with Beth, the receptionist at my meeting who has lost 88 pounds. We were discussing how much I work out and how much I am eating, I cannot believe that I am going to say this...I may not be eating enough. I think that I have written about this before but as a WW the thought of eating more to lose more is just so hard to believe but I am thinking that for me it might be the right path. So today I have decided to pack more substantial snacks, I am usually pretty light on those but I am hungry a lot and that cannot be a good sign. When I say that I am going to eat more I don't mean junk food, that would certainly not help with my weight loss effort, I mean more "dense" foods that will keep me fuller longer and help fuel my body. I can do this and I will...

I spoke to the Tri Coach for the Y yesterday on the phone, he has the cutest Australian accent, I CANNOT wait until February. The Tri training group starts around February 1 so we talked about meeting a bit before then so that maybe my nerves will be settled a bit before the actual group gets together. I do think that there is a specific triathlon that they train for but I will make sure to do some Sprints before, I don't really want my first race to be an Olympic Distance. He did say that my swim class is a great idea so that was reassuring and he also told me that the Tri Prep is perfect for first time triathletes like me, yet another reassurance that I greatly needed. These endevours are a bit scary but they are all doable and at the end of the day I am truly benefitting both mentally and physically from taking them on.

I guess the moral of this story is one that I need to always remember...like age the scale is just a number, it does not define who I am or what I am capable of, only I can do that and every day I try to prove to myself that I am capable of doing more and that I truly am A Strong, Beautiful Athlete.

A grown up scavenger hunt

2008-08-16T12:38:00.015-04:00

I must admit that I was a bit skeptical when I was invited on an outing with one of the teams that I support at work, it's our web group, they are my biggest and busiest clients. I have a great relationship with most of the members of the team which includes the Senior VP of dot com. They all busted their butts to get our website redesigned all while launching the latest offer, quite a feat if I must say so myself since I am responsible for reviewing it all before it goes live to the real world. As a thank you to the team, including me, a day of fun was organized so that they could get out of the office and have a good time together. These people work weekends, late nights and they rarely get out to enjoy our 1 p.m. dismissals before a long holiday weekend so they really needed this time away from their desks. Yesterday, Friday, was the day of the big outing. Nobody had any idea what we were doing but we knew that limos were involved and that the group in our LA office would be doing the same thing in their time zone. The instructions that came on out on Thursday evening were as follows:

Wear comforable clothes and shoes, be in the conference room at 12:30 sharp, make sure that you have everything you need to go home at the end of this day because we are not coming back to the office. Bring a map or GPS as this will be helpful, dinner at 4:00.

Very non-descript...so we all meet as planned in the conference room at 12:30 where we are greeted by Gunther and his partner (I honestly cannot remember her name) and on the table are three messenger bags with the name Scaventures typed across them. Ummmm what is this? we're all wondering. We are broken into 3 teams of 6-7 people, I had 6 really great people on my team, all people who I work with almost on a daily basis so it was going to be interesting to see how we interacted outside of work when we are working together as a team as opposed to them coming to me to tell me there is too much legal on the banner or they just don't want to do what legally I want them to do. Sounds fun, right?

So Gunther gives us the instructions: Each team gets a bag and in the bag is a digital camera, mascot (ours was giraffee), extra batteries for the camera and a list of 100 things all with point values 30 of which we need to find and get a picture of with the mascot in each one. We are instructed that we have until 4 p.m. to get our 30 pictures and get back to the hotel where the game ends or we will start to lose points. Now I am not sure how many people have been to NYC but it's crowded and there is a ton to see so you can imagine what some of the things were...get a picture of the entire team with their feet in a fountain (see above), entertain people waiting on the TKTS line, do a street performance for tips, and the list goes on. We did actually get the entire team and the giraffee into the fountain without incident (it's not really legal to do that). We did learn a lot like Starbucks does not allow you to take pictures inside their store and you certainly cannot come around the back of the counter to have your picture taken with a barista, well it was worth a try. We ran through almost all of the East Side of Central Park where we petted Balto the statue of a dog, I got to walk someone else's dog but too bad he did not have clothes on because that was another 50 points! We got two of the team members onto swings and Marcy, Brian and I ran to find Alice in Wonderland by the toy boat pond and had our picture taken with her. Most people were really nice when we explained what we were doing and why we were tearing through the park with a camera and a giraffee, this is NY after all. In the midst of all this running I decided that I had earned enough Activity Points to avoid a gym visit after work...see it's all about working the program.

From Central Park we headed to the West Side to the Museum of Natural History and more running around to find Nobels statue and a girl with a piercing other than an earing...thank you whoever you were our picture was great!! We re-enacted The Wizard of Oz, got the picture we needed to in front of the Dakota, ate popcorn, got a picture of a giant chocolate bar and even got seated at a table at Tavern on the Green stinky with sweat and all. As I said when we explained to people what we were doing they were pretty willing to work with us, except merchants who did not want us taking pictures in their stores but what they didn't see didn't hurt them, right. The hero of our day was an old friend of mine Tommy, he's a firefighter in NYC so I called him after not speaking to him in 8 years or so and asked a HUGE favor of him...if he was at his firehouse could we come by in our limo and get three people on the back of a firetruck, they were not their house but on jobs at 105th St and 1st Ave WAY far away from us. After some discussion we realized that it would take too long to get up there so he directed us to the fire house on 48th and 8th where the cute, young firefighters were more than willing to have us on the back of their truck, that was worth over 200 points and then we needed a picture of a local celebrity so who better than one of NY's Finest...we had our picture and the giraffees of course, taken with two of them. THANK YOU TO THE NYFD YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

We made some other stops and finally made it to the hotel at 4:05, we did lose some points but it was totally worth it. We came in second...out of three teams but everyone had to admit that our pictures were the best and hopefully I will be able to get my hands on some to post as you would not believe the things we did. Oh did I mention that we "sang" opera outside of the Met?? This is in front of people as NY during the day is very crowded but as a team it was so easy because we were all in it. I asked people things that I never thought I could "hi can we please take the order of one of your patrons, we're doing a corporate team building...", I ran for the benefit of my team, flat sneakers, no socks (my feet were wet at the foutain incident), really bad bra and all, just so we could try to be first. It is amazing to me how people come together as a team with a common goal in the name of fun. I had a great time and in the end second place was not bad because in our hearts we won after all we did things that the neither of the other teams did and we did it together...does it get better???

I woke up this morning exhausted but I dragged my butt to the gym for a pre-work run and for work. I got here at 6:30 so that I could get my 30 minute run in before the gym opened. Then it was my personal training session with my mom PHEW my arms are tired but I can see the definition in my arms and chest, so worth it. She's rock solid! I have to say for a 58 year old mom she looks FANTASTIC! Now there are these two older ladies here which makes me happy, not only do I have company but they are getting into shape for longer lives, you have to love that! My day here is almost over and soon I will head out to run a million errands, have dinner with some girlfriends and get ready for tomorrow mornings work out. That will probably be a run and bike ride as I know I cannot swim the day after strength training but who knows: I surprise myself everyday with what I can actually do.

Drum roll please

2008-08-12T11:30:00.007-04:00

The drum roll is for this amazing news.......I almost passed out yesterday morning when I got on the scale in my bathroom it showed a very low number and I was just hoping that it would be the same at my meeting in the evening. Now let's recap my previous week: I ate out 9 dinners, walked my tush off and had more sweets than any one person needed to eat in 9 days. Sticking to my workout and walking in NYC must have really made my body happy because it gave up.........1.8 POUNDS THIS WEEK!! That's the .8 I put on last week PLUS 1 pound!! I cannot believe it, I am .4 pounds away from WW's goal for me and 7.4 pounds from my personal goal. I am so excited and amazed that I was able to do that with everything that I had going on last week.

This loss though does bring up a lot of questions for me. Do I need to eat more to increase my weight loss, should I increase my workouts (if that's possible), is it a combination of the increase in both. All things to consider. I will say that since Sunday I have worked out once and that was yesterday morning. On Sunday we relaxed before Kaitlynn left for the airport and once I dropped her off I just wanted to be home relaxing. Monday I was exhausted, it's almost like my body had had enough moving for a while and that was fine, I think I agree with what my body was telling me. Yesterday I woke up at 5:15 and headed to the gym for a run. I decided that it's time to push myself a bit more on the treadmill, it's a lot easier on my knee than the pavement which tends to be too hard for me sometimes. I did a pretty flat course but I varied the pace between 5.5 and 6 mph, it may not sound fast but for me it was a victory. That's what this path is all about right, personal victory...

This morning there was no workout. I could not get up as I had a bad night's sleep so I made the decision that I would head to the gym for a strength training tonight after work. I have PMS something fierce so this is a good easy way to combat the bloat and nasty mood. The schedule I have set for myself this week is pretty easy, run/bike Thursday a.m., easy 30 minute swim Friday a.m., Saturday I work at the gym and have my personal trainer so I may run there before work or head to the Y after work. Sunday I am playing golf with my mom and step dad and I use the term "play" VERY loosely. It's fun to go out with them and maybe I will even take some pics so you can see how nice the courses are out here. The big decision is what to do before golf, I am thinking of another easy swim except that it's the day right after my personal trainer so my arms etc are always more tired but we'll see, it's still a few days away.

I am going to start to change up what I am eating and maybe the amounts, clearly I need a bit more now that I am adding muscle and it burns food so much more efficiently than fat. It's always scary to a WW to add food since we're all about losing weight and it seems to contradict the program to eat more to lose. I don't think that when they designed the program they took into account how much some people work out and that they may have a different food need than more sedentary people, not that there is anything wrong with them as I was one of them. This program is mine to work and I have to do what is right for me and for my body and it seems that it needs nutrition and to move more.

My plan for working out is set for the rest of the week, it's not written in stone but I am going to stick to it as closely as possible and I am going to work on my food intake too to see what I can do to shock my system a bit. The one thing that is for sure, my planning and focus really paid off this week and it showed me that it's OK to "be less than perfect" on program and still reap the benefits of a happy body. As of last night I am officially down just over 70 pounds, could I even lift that weight and carry it around day after day...honestly it's not something that I am even interested in finding out but it feels great to know it's gone and to reflect on how far I have come.

And so it ends...

2008-08-10T19:58:00.028-04:00

So my house guest left this afternoon to head back to California. I dropped her off at the shuttle to the airport and came home to run around naked...OK not really but you know what I mean. She's a great girl and I am so happy that even though I am no longer with her brother we have been able to remain friends, that says a lot about both of us. Here is my happy visitor with my mom on our way to NYC on her first full day. Doesn't she look happy. We had such a great time and I can tell you that we walked almost every street in Manhattan. I blogged on Wednesday about some of our plans for the rest of her time here so I will try to keep it short as to not bore you with every detail. I did have to work for most of her visit but I tried to make sure that in the evenings we had stuff going on, OK after my Tuesday weigh in anyway.

Wednesday night we met my college roommate for dinner and a movie. We saw Mama Mia, the play was soooooooo much better. The good thing about it was that it was entertaining and I know this because I had gotten up at 5am to hit the gym and I was able to stay awake for the entire evening, including the 40 minute train ride home. Thursday night we hit Broadway, we saw Spamalot and I think that EVERYONE needs to see this, if they have a sense of humor anyway. We laughed out butts off and it was a really fun night. The father from 7th Heaven was the star and Drew Lachey was his partner, Drew is REALLY short. They were both hilarious and fantastic actors. It was a nice evening, before the rain started. Since I did not have to work on Friday we decided to walk a little in the streets and holy moly did we get to see quite the site...a million young girls getting ready to sleep on the sidewalk, in a thunderstorm and pouring rain to see The Jonas Brothers free concert in Bryant Park Friday morning. For those of you who don't know what/where Bryant Park is it's the park behind the New York Public Library.

Friday was a PERFECT NY day. Sunny, warm but not too hot/humid, in the morning anyway. I hit the gym at 5am and then we were on our way. No matter how much I walked during the day I had to make it a point to work out, it was my way of making sure I was taking care of what I needed all while making sure my friend got to see all that NY had to offer. After I kicked a dead pigeon, yes you read that right, we headed into Central Park. I know that everyone has an image of what Central Park looks like so right here, right now you're going to see that whatever you think, it's wrong LOL . See 20 years ago the park did not look this beautiful but you cannot deny that now, it's really something to be seen. We started in at 59th street on the East Side of the Park and walked out at 86th Street on the West side. We walked, talked and had lunch while people watching, never a dull moment here in NY. We came out and stepped into The Museum of Natural History, she was not too into it so we kept walking down the West Side. We stopped at The Dakota, the building where John Lennon and Yoko Ono lived and of course where he was shot. It's right across from Central Park and Strawberry Fields which Yoko maintains, financially anyway. The sky started to change from gorgeous sun to a dark and ominous. As we headed towards Lincoln Center I remembered a fantastic Mexican place, Rosa Mexicano, that was our next stop after Duane Reade for umbrellas. We made it inside just before the downpour, Mother Nature can really pack a punch! We shared guacamole and we each had our own small pitcher of Sangria, can we say YUMMMM. Oh I cannot forget that we also headed over to 78th and 3rd Ave for cupcakes...it was a bit of a snacky day but we walked everywhere. Friday night we met Jenny for dinner in CT and I was passed out by 10:45.

Saturday was a big day for me and for Kaitlynn, she got to meet Gavin DeGraw's cousin when we had a drink at the bar he owns. I woke up at 6:30, headed to the Y for a 30 min hill run and a 30 min bike ride before heading to Strata Health Club for my work out with Brian and my mom. My step sister was also in from Israel with her two children, they were staying with my other step sister in NYC...here we are with the kids outside FAO Schwarz, these are the cutest kids ever!! We headed to Dillion's Candy Bar with them after the brief visit to the toy store. OK that was my biggest dream an ENTIRE STORE dedicated to candy. We had a cupcake, rice krispie treat and some fudge, when I say we I mean Kait, Rona and I...thank goodness Kaitlynn and I spent the rest of the day walking all of the East Side of Manhattan. We walked from 60th and 2nd to 20th and 3rd, with some stops on 1st Ave by the UN. By the time we got home and had dinner last night I had had it. Luckily today there was no City planned. I am not sure that I would have survived another day down there, considering I have to be on the train tomorrow morning for another week of work. We had brunch with my aunt and vegged out while watching the hot American men play Beach Volleyball.

It was so great to have her here, I was sad to see her go and I was happy that I was able to keep up with most of my working out. She was an easy going, fun guest...I will miss her but it is nice to have my apartment and routine back in place. Tomorrow it all starts again at 5:30 with a run and a bike ride, Tuesday is a swim day and I am looking foward to getting back in the pool.

The Battle Continues

2008-08-06T10:02:00.006-04:00

My battle with the scale that is. As you all know I have a guest here and my week has consisted of going out to dinner every night since to be honest, I don't have the energy to cook for two when I get home. It's been a productive week for her though. On Monday we came to the City early and I dropped her off at the Grey Line bus depot for her full day tour of NYC. If any of you come out here I am sticking you on that too, she found it before she came but now that I know about it I am so using it for out of town visitors. I had planned on cooking for us when we got home on Monday because I did not want to eat out another meal, I have been watching my home scale creep up every morning. I have been a good WW though and really watching what I have been ordering but it is so hard to truly measure and count when you're out. That whole cooking thing went out the window at about 2 in the afternoon because I was suddenly so tired. When I met up with Kaitlynn after work around 5:30 we strolled through Saks Fifth Avenue, everyone must experience the shoe department with it's own zip code at least once in life. I have no business even going in there as I cannot afford to pick up and admire the shoes, they start at over $500 a pair (Manolo Blanicks etc). We get back to my house around 7:15 and walk into town for dinner, I had a veggie burger with half the bun and steamed broccoli. It was delicious but that scale was up again yesterday morning DRAT as it's my weigh in day!

Cut to the next scene and I am piecing together some haphazard meal to bring to work for lunch, I usually do all my marketing for the week on Saturday but not this week. I knew that I had to eat light because I had a weigh in and the scale and I seem to be in a fight. I decided that guest or no guest my training program needs to continue to after passing out at 9:30 again on Monday, I wonder if she realized what an old lady she was coming to visit, I woke up yesterday at 5 in the morning and headed to the gym. I needed the run and the time alone in the car, sounds weird but after living alone it's hard to adjust to always having to be on. I ran for 30 minutes on a hill course, I did not even think about it while I watched t.v. but the next thing I knew my 30 minutes were over and I had done all of the hills. Big smile and next time I do that program I am changing the level, it's time for the next challenge.

We take the train together to the City, she's heading out to shop on 5th Ave and I am heading to work. Hmmmm I clearly need a vacation so that I can spend the day shopping. I must say that I am so proud of her as she navigated the NYC Subway on her own. I gave her the line she needed to take, sent her in that direction and off she went VERY IMPRESSIVE. We had to leave on the 5:56pm train so that I could get home and head to my meeting...A GAIN OF .8. OK in the grand scheme of things it's not really that big of a deal. It's a heck of a lot less than I thought and this week has been unusual. Still, I am having a hard time letting go of the gain soooo this morning at 5am I was back at the gym running, this time for 35 minutes.

It was a bit of an adventure at the gym this morning. Today is the first day to enroll in any classes that you want to take at the Y for the 9 week fall session. Enrollment opened at 6am this morning so I was all excited when I got to the gym. The swim class I want to take only allows 5 people so I HAD to be one of the first to sign up....ummmmmmm they don't allow you to use the computers at the front desk to register and doing it online is the only way to guarantee you'll get the class, in other words if 5 people are already registered when you hand in your form then you're SOL. There was no way I was going to get closed out of this class! I got back in my car and drove over to my mom's house, she lives about 5 minutes from the gym. So at 6am my mom got a little surprise visit from me, who wouldn't be happy about that. She was very understanding as she laid in her bed wondering who this child was. So here is the class that I signed up for:

FREESTYLE WITH FLOW
Are you tired of struggling through each lap you swim? This
clinic is designed for adult swimmers who wish to improve
their freestyle technique for increased fitness and greater
confidence and satisfaction in the water. Freestyle with Flow
is also ideal for Triathletes and Masters swimmers. The clinic
offers a uniquely effective swim sequence, which will help
you become more efficient and relaxed in the water as you
learn balanced body position and proper freestyle mechanics.
This teaching method has already transformed thousands
of swimmers who now experience ease and flow with
each lap they swim. Class sections limited to 5 swimmers.

I have paid my money and on September 8 I will start flowing a bit more smoothly in the water. After I finished up with this I headed back over to the Y and ran. I felt strong this morning and I even bumped up the speed, something I have decided I am going to do every time I run. It's time to take this fitness and fight with the scale to the next level.

Tonight we're going out to dinner and movie with my college roomate and tomorrow is an off day from working out, we're going to a Broadway show and I don't want to be falling asleep before it starts. Friday is a swim day, I also have the day off from work so maybe I can sleep past 5am. It's nice having a visitor but on Sunday when she leaves for the airport I am going to run around my house naked, with the blinds closed of course.

Phew...

2008-08-04T09:38:00.006-04:00

PHEW what a weekend I had, I seem to say that a lot. I must be doing a lot more than I think. As I mentioned before my ex's half sister has arrived for her weeklong visit to NY. She's 21 and very sweet. You forget how much there is to do and see when you live somewhere for most of you life.

Kaitlynn arrived on Saturday morning just before the storms came through. In Northern California thunderstorms are really rare, I think that my entire time there had one and they are NOTHING like the amazing and powerful storms we have here. Mother Nature put on quite the show on Saturday morning/afternoon, I hope that Kait was impressed. We were actually trapped in the car at one point it was raining and hailing so hard, thank goodness we were only heading to NJ to see some friends as going to NYC in that weather would not have been the best first impression. In the car I give her a brief tour of Queens, that is as we drive through on our way back to Westchester where I live. I also gave her the list of all NY foods that no visit her would be complete without, pizza, bagels and cream cheese, Black and White cookies, Knishes and of course dirty water dogs (hot dogs purchased from street vendors). She's only had one of the 5 so far. I have a few errands to run since it's my typical Saturday but no workout was done. I feel so guilty when I miss a day but I do have to live too, something I think that I lose sight of.

After some running around and pizza we head over the George Washington Bridge to New Jersey to see my friends Edye, Alberto and their gorgeous son Mario (pics to come later). They live out in Summit so I don't get to see them that often but the drive out is totally worth it. Poor Kaitlynn is really dragging at this point as she left Cali at 11pm the night before I did not let her sleep, its easier to adjust when you get a normal night's sleep. We head to the mall because what better way to welcome and out of town guest than with no sales tax shopping. It was a nice mall and suddenly she was wide awake, funny what a little shopping can do. We decide that dinner in the mall would be easiest with the baby...boy were we WRONG. They would not let us bring the stroller into the restaraunt and Mario is only 4 months old thus causing us a bit of a problem. To solve this problem Edye or Alberto had to walk the baby in the stroller in the mall while the other one ate their meal. We are going to complain to the company about this. We went back to their place for a quick dessert and then headed back to my house where we both passed out.

Sunday could not have been more perfect weather wise. I woke up at 6:30 and headed out for my 4.5 mile walk before we went into Manhattan. I wanted to get some kind of workout in before we left as I had no idea what lay ahead food wise etc. My mom agreed to be our tour guide since Kaitlynn may apply to the NYU School of Nursing and since my mom is an NYU graduate she knows a lot more about that area than I do. We took the train from my house to Grand Central Terminal, since they cleaned it up it's really so nice to go there. From there we headed to the subway, a first for the out of towner. It can be overwhelming I think if you don't have people who are familiar with NY. We headed to the East Village, to check out NYU and all of the street vendors selling their wares. I am telling you people will sell anything and not feel the least bit bad about it. We saw lots of JUNK and I mean junk. My mom and I did end up buying some necklaces from a pretty cool man. She got a really nice and grown up (she's a mom) bead necklace and I got a Hello Kitty bedazzled necklace. Have I mentioned that I am 36? We also stopped in a few cute stores that Kaitlynn could do some NY shopping, after all this is the best shopping city ever. At around 1 we headed over the West Village which is really completely different than the East which sound funny since they are so close together. We decided to eat in one of my favorite places, The Hummus Place, FANTASTIC and relatively healthy. From there we needed something sweet and my mom's favorite chocolate shop Lilac had closed it's W Village location so we HAD to go to the Chocolate Restaraunt in Union Square, Max Brenner is an amazing place. My mom and I shared a double chocolate brownie cookie and Kait had something that looked like a chocolate chemistry set. Thank goodness we walked from 14th St to 42nd to catch the train home, after that we all needed a walk. What a day of walking in the sun can do, we all practically collapsed when we sat down.

To close out the perfect Sunday Kaitlynn and I walked a mile and half from my apt down to a park in my town that's on Long Island sound (pics to come). The breeze was blowing and the sun was still shining at 6 in the evening. It was a nice chance for us to talk about stuff in our lives, we have not seen each other in over a year since I left Nor Cal. It's nice that although I ended my relationship with her brother that I am able to remain friends with her. She's a fantastic person and an easy houseguest. We had dinner outside in town, walked home and I was sleeping by 9:30. All in all it was a great weekend, good weather, good friends, great walking, fantastic city and a happy visitor.

Some Days Are Harder Than Others

2008-08-01T07:37:00.007-04:00

PHEW, my Friday morning swim was tough to say the least. It was actually harder than my swim on Tuesday. Joe was there so that did help to ease my mind. I had equipment issues and I could not get my stroke right. But let's start with the good news...

Yesterday's run and strength workout were great! I did my 30 minute run on this great treadmill, I did a hill course and it shows a real mountain and where your elevation is it. It kind of keeps it interesting, it also has a 5K course. I did a nice easy pace and kept it up with no walking breaks, I am really trying to build up the amount of time I run vs walk. I have a really bad knee (degenerating quad and patellar tendons plus a torn meniscus thrown in for good measure) which will eventually require surgery so I have to be careful but I do what is comfortable. Following my great run I did a full body strength work out, I modify the one that I do with Brian on Saturdays and it seems to work out really well for me. It was a bit strange in my new gym since it was super crowded, doesn't anyone in Rye sleep past 6:30? But I worked around the other people and got my business done.

Then it was off to the foot doctor to be fitted for my orthodics. Dr Rosenzweig was my doctor in high school so you cna imagine my joy to discover he was still practicing and he took my insurance double bonus. He took x-rays and of course I have a small bunion on my right foot, darn those cute shoes, he also noted that I have flatter feet than most people. Hmmmmm interesting and that explains why I get so many heel blisters, my foot is pronating in my shoes. So in two weeks my feet, calf muscles and knees will be all lined up. I wonder what kind of difference this will make in my training. I am counting down the days until they arrive. If they are as great as I hope then I will bring my ski boots back for a fitting before Winter '08.

This all brings me to todays terrible swim. I think that swimming the day after a big strength workout may not be my best idea. Although not sore I am sure that my shoulders and arms are tired. I just could not get it together. My swim cap was not covering my ears right and I got lots of water in them and then my goggles were breaking my nose off for some reason...OK I know the reason, I had a small ponytail under there and it was messing everything up. Note to self, no ponytail under the swim gear. My stroke was off due to how tired I felt too, which was not making me too happy. I did complete my 30 minute swim with fewer breaks, other than to fix my crap. When I was done I met a woman in the locker room who is a triathlete so we started talking about my first race, she told me there is a race in Pawling that is perfect for first timers. I searched high and low today for information on this race and came up emtpy, if anyone has any ideas how to find races please let me know. (Thanks in advance) For some reason I am not overly energized after a swim the way I am after the bike and run stuff, actually I could pass out and take a nap at any moment. Wonder why...I will be back in the pool on Monday after a pure cardio weekend. I am dropping off my bike for a tune up tomorrow and to have a computer installed so I will know distance and speed, something that I have been in the dark about. It will be nice to know.

So that's it. I started Friday on a rough note but all in all it was a great week. I lost weight, had some great workouts and I woke up for another gorgeous day in NY.

1 to Go!!!

2008-07-30T10:15:00.010-04:00

Yes, you read it here first. I have ONE POUND to WW goal...OK 1.6 but 1 sounds so much better and it's not really MY goal it's the highest weight I can be for my height on WW. When I hit that weight I just cannot go 2lbs over it and in 6 weeks I won't have to pay for meetings anymore. Sounds good to me and even more of a motivator to keep working this program. In my meeting last night we discussed rehearsing and what changes we can make to help us get to goal on the scale. Rehearsing is playing out situations that we know about, like parties and bbq's, in our heads so that we're not overwhelmed by the food and can remain in control of what we put in our mouths.

My day yesterday started out with another 30 minute swim, no run as I was pressed for time. I was so relieved to see my friend Joe at the pool again, something about his friendly face and demeanor sets me at ease. The pool was a bit more crowded then it was on Monday, a non-swim day for me, so I picked the empty unmarked lane and started my work out. I was able to complete more laps in row which made me happy. I was not as afraid that I would drown this time but I was worried that someone else would want to be in my private lane as I am still nervous that would mess me all up. Luckily everyone else wanted to be with their friends in the speedier lanes so I was spared PHEW. Who knows when my luck is going to run out but I am hoping it's not tomorrow morning for my next swim/run workout. I will say that I may have some trouble with the swim/bike transition as getting my suit off and my running stuff on seems to take forever. I guess I have lots of time to practice since my tri will not be until next year. Anyway, I did my 30 minutes alternating freestyle with the breast stroke when I got tired. I was very pleased with my workout and as I got out of the pool at 6:25am Joe came over to tell me how good I looked and that I should keep it up. That was the icing on the cake. I bet that man has no idea how much his encouraging words really mean to me, if he's there tomorrow maybe I will share that with him.

I have successfully completed the WW online application for becoming a receptionist at a WW Center. That would be heaven, helping to encourage people to get to their goals, it's a perfect fit for me. I was the acting receptionist at the At Work meeting at Clorox so I have a basic understanding of how it works. It's nice to know that I could be working for a company that I truly believe in and that helps people live happier and healthier lives. It's done wonders for me. They do ask A LOT of questions and some I was unsure how to answer so I did what I do best, I told the truth. Ultimately I would like to become a leader and have my own meetings. Of course that will be just one more thing to fit into my already hectic schedule but it would be an honor to assist people in getting to their goal. I only hope that I can be half the leader that Mary is.

This weeks topic was so perfect for me because I have a house guest coming in on Saturday and she'll be here for a week. It's my ex's half sister, it sounds weird but I broke up with him because he was a total jack ass it has nothing to do with his family. Plus she does not speak to him on a regular basis so I believe that secretly she likes me better :-) Back to the topic, we have a lot of things going on and we're out to dinner most nights that she's here. For a WW that is the scariest thing it's like being on vacation but not leaving your house. I have planned the meals that I can at places that I am familiar with and places that I am not I will be sure to check the menu before we go. I have also decided that I cannot let my workout schedule fall to the wayside because of my guest. I will just have to tiptoe out of my apt at 5:30am and tip toe back in when I get home around 7. I have to do this for my own sanity and for the ultimate reward...GOAL!!!

All in all I am happy about the 1lb weight loss that brought me within 1.6lbs of my goal. Now I just have to keep reminding myself that I REALLY am no longer 231 lbs and that I am a strong, beautiful athlete, if I say it enough I will surely have to believe it. A friend from work came into my office yesterday, I had not seen her in two weeks, to tell me how great I looked and how toned I was. (Thanks Caley!) It appears that I am the only one not seeing it, although I do see it, in my clothes and even in some pictures. Seeing it is one thing...believing it is something else.

What a Weekend!

2008-07-28T19:39:00.024-04:00

I cannot believe that it's already Monday night and I have waited this long to post about my weekend. It was really a good one. I spent a lot of time with my parents, mostly my mom which really was a bonus. Every Saturday morning we meet at Strata Health Club in White Plains to train with Brian, he must be a saint to deal with both of us at 9am on a Saturday. It's something that we had both been wanting to do for a while and then along came this opportunity, it was meant to be. We have both seen some changes in our bodies which is fantastic. We have been increasing weight and working a lot of "swimming" muscles so that when I start my swim classes in September I will be a strong swimmer, slow but strong. So we meet, have a great workout with Brian and decide that we're heading to Pocantico, it's a gorgeous state park, for a short walk on the soft ground. Soon I will be working Saturdays at the gym checking people in, I need some extra cash for this new fitness challenge, they need the help and I need the money, what could be better?

Right after the gym I headed over to Westchester Road Runner, it's a running store with tons of triathlon gear. It's time to buy a bathing suit to train in, this is the moment of truth. Trying on bathing suits is really not all that much fun, even after all of this weight loss. I felt like Spider Man in this thing, it's red and black, plus it suctions onto my body. I need as little "drag" from my suit as possible as I have enough "drag" all on my own. I ended up with a TYR Reversable MaxBack, pink goggles and a swim cap. These new swim caps are great, I still have all of my hair after using it, that was a plus for sure!

I am all set to start swimming, now all I need is a pool. After the shopping spree I head over to the Rye Y to join. It's a big step for me since I have been working out at the gym in my office building so having to drive to the gym is going to take some getting used to. It's the right decision 100%. I get my tour and there is the pool, YIKES there are other people in there. I hope that I can actually get into my Spider Man suit and walk in front of the huge window to climb into the pool, I had until Sunday to deal with that fear.

Now that the shopping part of my day is over I met back up with my mom for our little adventure in the park. We did about 2.5 miles and it was totally worth it. Here is the park greeter, who wouldn't feel welcome with this guy at the start of your walk. He did not even try to run. The great thing about the park is that it's all soft ground and although you can run on it pretty easily we chose to walk, we had a really big workout with Brian and neither of us felt like killing ourselves. Plus once again it was HOT, we really know how to pick our days. We have our water bottle packs and my mom has packed some snacks, you always have to be prepared. Lucky for us the trail map is marked with distances so this helps us plan our route, there is a beautiful lake in the middle of the trails, we did not spend too much time near this since it was in the sun and we needed some trees and shade. We got lots of that plus some brooks and pretty scenery. Here is my gorgeous, dedicated workout partner/mother. As you can see she's all smiles. Look at the background, who wouldn't be. I cannot wait until October to cross the finish line with her!

On our adventure we had a chance to talk about my grandmother, she was one of my favorite people, our plans for Baltimore and how much we both love working out with Brian. Oh yeah, and we chatted about the guy that Brian wants me to meet when he comes up from Florida. We also got to see another deer, 15 ducks, a chipmunk, a Canadian goose and a turtle all while working toward stronger bodies. At the end of our trek I finally allowed my mom to take my picture. It's always hard to see yourself on film, especially if you have a bad body image, something that I am working on but still it's a challenge. As you can see we did make it to the lake at the end. I was smiling for so many reasons. I think that there are two things that bring the biggest smile to my face and I am fortunate that I have them. I smile because I have my mom to take on these challenges with, it's so much nicer to have someone to work out with, someone that you love and really enjoy spending time with. We're both really busy so it's nice that we have this time carved out to spend together, it makes a difference when we're meeting for something other than lunch. WW always pushes meeting people for something other than food...we took that advice and ran with it. The second is that I can actually see some changes in my body in this pic. I am certainly not perfect but I have been working my butt off and it's really paying off. There is moment in every WW life when it becomes OK to say "I am proud of my accomplishments", it usually comes after the first weigh in but for me it's something that I need to recite every day, kind of like a second mantra. After the walk we went home and continued to bask in the fun of our day.

My Sunday started a bit differently than the other Sundays this year. I woke up at my usual time 7am, ate breakfast and put on my Spider Man suit to head to the POOL. Yes, I am going to brave the pool and I can honestly say I cannot remember the last time I went "swimming" meaning being in the water for excercise and I am so nervous. I figure that there is only one first time so after today it's a cake walk. So I arrive at the Y just after they open and I can see that there are other people in the pool UGH. I do see an empty lane but it's for FAST swimmers, I am in full on panic. I put my stuff into my locker, I did have to stop on my way over to get a new lock so I was repeating the numbers in my head the entire swim. So I don my towel, goggles, new fangled swim cap and off I go. I head down the "wet hall" to the six lane pool. Upon arrival I flag down the older gentleman working at the pool, Joe, and I explain that this is my first day and I am nervous. He tells me that I need to swim where I am comfortable...ummmm OK what the hell does that mean? The FAST lane is still open so he tells me it's OK to head in there and not to worry so much, thanks Joe. So as I am climbing in a man in a Speedo climbs in and he was really nice about sharing the lane with me, even if I was not a fast swimmer.

Here I go...I start to swim and I think that I am going to drown. Well not really but I can hear myself huffing and puffing, it's kind of disturbing and it leaves me wondering if everyone else can hear me. For the swim class I am going to take in September all I have to be able to do is complete two laps in the pool, 200m. Lucky for me I can. I swim for 30 minutes, yes 30 MINUTES, I did have to stop at the wall a few times because this swimming is hard work. During one of my breaks Joe comes over to tell me that I am a good swimmer but I need to slow down so that I can swim for 15 minutes straight, that's when the benefits start to kick in. I was so happy to hear that I was a good swimmer considering I felt like a complete dork in the water.

Following my 30 minute swim I did a 30 minute run in my new gym. I got to watch my favorite show which probably made the run seem a lot easier than it was. I walked out of the Rye Y with my head held high as I had met the challenge I had set for myself. After my intense morning I was supposed to play golf with my parents, thank goodness for horrible thunderstorms, I was off the hook. We grabbed an early dinner and I was asleep by 6:30pm. One thing my first swim proved was that I can do this, I may not be the prettiest, most polished swimmer but I can do anything that I put my mind to and that is something to be proud of.

I did get up this morning at 5:15 and head back to the gym for a 45 minute bike ride. I was famished all day, tomorrow it's another swim and run (if there is time).

On Being Single

2008-07-24T11:30:00.008-04:00

This is a topic that I was going to blog about a few other times but decided that today is the day. I am not sure how inspirational I can be with this as once again I have been disappointed in men. Sorry to generalize but I have had been disappointed in my dating life, or lack thereof. Here goes...

I live a rich life and I am not talking about money here, I mean rich as far as my family, friends, work and what I am passionate about. As I have said I have a wonderful support group of family and friends and I am lucky enough to head to a job that I love every day. I live a healthy, fulfilled life with a body that I am slowly turning into one of a true athlete. What could be bad...well nothing really. I am happy and thankful for all that is mine. That said, I am single and have been for a few long months. I guess a little history is needed here to sort of fill in some of the blanks.

I moved home last May, 2007, after being with a man (I use that term VERY loosely) for four and half years. We met at the gym in Michigan and he is 9 years younger than me. Not too bad for an old lady HAHA. He is in the US Coast Guard and was given orders to Nor Cal shortly after we started dating. We decided that the responsible thing to do would be to really not get too serious since he was leaving and I had a great job at GM along with a condo, family and a great group of friends in Michgan....well you can see how well that plan worked. So in October of 2004 I moved to Nor Cal to be with him and in May of 2007 I moved back to NY after a very tumultuous four years, the first six months were great! Upon my arrival home I met someone at a BBQ at my neighbors house. We dated for 8 months. He is 36, single and really cute. He was, most importantly, a nice guy, something that I was not familiar with but we were way too different and although we are friends there is/was no future there.

So I joined JDate and went on one date with someone who seemed to be really excited to meet me etc. well needless to say I never saw him again and did not meet anyone else from there to date. Funny thing is that I made a lot of very close friends, mostly women, on that site. I cancelled that $40 a month site and decided to try out eHarmony for one month, they were about $35 a month. I mean come on they are advertising all over the place about their fantastic success rates and how you take this profile thing. I needed a nap after filling that thing out and I am not even sure that I gave accurate answers after a while, but whatever I was done and my money had been paid. So then every day they sent me at least five or six "matches" are these people for real and hello what did I put in that novel of a questionnaire that I filled out?! You'd be really surprised how many "spiritual but not religious" men there are out there. That site proved to be even less successful than JDate as I spoke to one man with a very young son who lived upstate. I have no problem dating someone with children but a very young child meant that he had just recently ended a marriage.

While searching for a race on active.com I came across fitness-singles.com. PERFECT! I am into fitness and I am single, it was like a match made in heaven, for me and the site anyway. They were only $29.99/mo for full benefits, email etc. I am 36 and would like to date a man who is close to my age, early 30's to early 40's is fine but honestly, I am not looking to date my father. I have been contacted by many more 50 somethings than I would like to think about. There is nothing wrong with these men but they are a bit too old for me and most of them were closer in age to my mom than me. By the way, those 50 somethings get really mad when you kindly explain that they are out of your age range, I was not hiding the fact that I am looking for someone closer to my age, it is after all right there in my profile. There are a ton of pictures of men with out shirts in their underwear who have taken pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror. Do these men really not have any friends who would snap a quick pic for them?? And last I remember steroids were illegal substances, I guess not on Long Island aptly knicknamed "Strong Island" for a reason. Luckily only one man pictured in his underwear contacted me. He was a lawyer from CT who wrote like he was a teenager so I had to nix that conversation. He DID have a fabulous body but lawyer or not, he was not bright. There was one who checked out me regularly and finally about 2 months ago we connected via the fantastic IM system they have that seems to crash out computers, mine included, so we exchanged IM information for our personal accounts. WOW this was exciting someone normal who wanted to chat...here we go. Well this went on for a bit and he was heading out of town for the weekend so I gave him my number figuring why not, he was going to be in the car for a bit we could talk. He thanked me but never called, kind of odd right, you're on a dating site after all and you pursued me. OK so we went back to chatting and email, it was nice and I looked forward to hearing from him. This past Monday I sent him another email checking to see if he wanted to meet and at this point I felt like there was something up, I am pretty sharp. Well last night he told me that he had met someone this past week when he was away and he did not want to lead me on but he wanted to continue to email and chat. UM NO. Thanks but my friends are straightfoward, honest people and I have enough of them. My response was honest...I explained that that was probably not going to happen as he did not even give me a chance and for whatever reason he never wanted to meet me. So basically...it's his loss. Needless to say I am cancelling my subscription and taking a much needed break from dating or trying to date to focus on my triathlon and 1/2 marthon training because that's what makes me happy.

I was really down about that as it took the wind out of my sails but writing about it here and then re-reading it its almost funny. This is the life of a single girl in 2008. Good, honest, attractive men are hard to find on the street or on the internet, no matter how much you pay per month. One thing that I can comfortably say is that I am a happy person, I live life surrounded by people and things that make me happy. I do not want it to be anyone else's responsibility to make me happy, I have to find that within myself. Having a partner would be more of a bonus to the life that I have worked so hard to create for myself. At the end of the day that's the most important lesson and until I find "him" I will continue to do what makes me happy and complete.

Morning versus Evening

2008-07-22T21:51:00.009-04:00

Hmmmm so tonight was my normal weigh in night, I am a Tuesday night girl and I am devoted to my meeting, leader and of course this lifestyle. I was up 2lbs tonight from where I was last Sunday morning. See the difference...one weigh in after a days worth of food and the other before I have had any food pass my lips. It begs the question what is my real weight? Is it the weight that I am when I wake up or the weight I am before dinner on Tuesday nights? I think that it has to be based on when you normally weigh in, morning, noon or night. For me my real weight is what I weigh every Tuesday night at my meeting, not on some make up day (even if I was lighter on that day). When I get to goal I want it to be on a Tuesday night with Mary, my usual leader. I have to say that this weight loss battle is just that, a battle and one that I will have to fight for my entire life. I will always have to be concerned with my weight whether it is a Tuesday night or a Sunday morning.

I am about 10 pounds from my WW goal and I am hoping to work at WW when I get there. To me it's about promoting the lifestyle change that has helped me find my inner athlete along with creating lifelong frienships. Of course I am also hoping that training for my next set of events help to push me even closer to the number on the scale. That's what it's all about, right??? If you follow only the WW way then yes, the number on the scale is what determines your success. Tonight in our meeting we discussed other measures of success, smaller clothing sizes, the ability to look at yourself in the mirror and see something positive, seeing your measurements getting smaller, I personally have lost a little over 2 inches in my legs over the last 5 or so weeks. Now THAT is something to be proud of and I have to own it. I may have been up on the scale tonight but my clothes are fitting better and I am starting to shop in the smaller sizes in my closet, what a great feeling. One thing that is hard for people who were once fat, for lack of a better word, is the fact that you cannot see yourself as the thin person you now are. I have touched on this before but it's more and more apparent to me now that I am not over 200lbs anymore. It takes some getting used to the mirror, my clothes and people's comments should be my barometer and not the negative image I have of myself stuck in my head.

I learned something in a meeting years and years ago about how we talk to ourselves.Would you talk to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? I would never say the things to my best friend that I say to myself. Why do we think that it is OK to berate ourselves over a small mis-step or a slight gain on the scale? We are only human after all and on WW or not life must go on. I have to remember to be gentle with myself and I have to celebrate the success that I have had along with learning from any set backs. I need to keep my focus on my future and the athlete that I am growing into. The negative thoughts accomplish nothing while knowing how to get where I want to should bring me a welcomed challenge.

There is a lesson to be learned every week at WW and of course every day in life. Today I learned that I need to only weigh in on Tuesday nights and that from my last Tuesday night weigh in I was down 1.6lbs...so even though there was a gain on the scale at the end of the day it was a real loss that I should not discount...the truth is the scale only meausres a number, it does not measure my ultimate success, only I can do that.

13.1 & Counting...

2008-07-20T18:58:00.017-04:00

Rye, NY
Sunday90° / 72°
Monday87° / 69°
Tuesday88° / 65°
Wednesday82° / 66°

Today as you can see from the above weather block was 90 degrees which is really bad enough without the humidity, something that I did not miss while in Nor Cal. That said it was 90 degrees today and HUMID, so humid in fact that my hair looked like I stuck it in an outlet and then used a cotton candy machine to dry it. Ahhhhh what a sight.

So this leads me to the title of my post. Last week my mom, who is doing her first 1/2 marathon in October, mentioned that she wanted to do the full distance in advance of the race, just to make sure she could do it. I have told her time and time again if you can do 9 you can do 13.1 without a problem, this was not good enough for her so I volunteered to do the distance with her. What kind of training partner would I be making her do it alone?

Knowing how hot it was going to be and being fed up with carrying back packs on our backs filled with what we needed for our walks I went and bought us both a carrier for our water, Clif Blox and trail mix, when doing this distance energy is important. Both being WW members, she's at Lifetime, its a scary proposition to eat AND work out without guilt, it is something that we are both going to need to get past in order to make sure we don't bonk before the finish. My mom had never had Blox and I wanted her to eat them today to make sure she had no adverse reactions...race day is not a good time to discover that they don't agree with you. Obviously I did not take the entire bag of delicious trail mix but you get the idea. Anyway, this little pack sits on the small of your back and does not interfere with your shoulders, back, arms or anything else. My mom did complain about the bottle itself but with some training she'll figure out how to get it to work for her.

I met her at her house which is exactly 4 miles from my house, the thermometer in my car was already reading 78 degrees and that was at 7:20a.m. We were in for a long hot walk with lots of sunshine. When we left her house at 7:30 she was a bit stiff, she is 58 years old, so we were a bit slower which was perfect with the weather. Last September when I did the DisneyLand Half Marathon it was a lot hotter at 6a.m. when we started so I knew what to expect, slower paces and more water...there really was not enough in that bottle for the day we were going to have. So off we go...we head toward my house (if I was talented I would have a map...notice I said IF) in Larchmont, I have the entire route planned to make sure we get the miles in. In just over an hour we are in Larchmont, we're making great time. At 9 I tell my mom that she needs to eat a serving of Blox, she tells me that she's not hungry. Have you ever seen one of these? They look like Gummy Bears that someone put into an ice tray. I explain that it's not for food it's for fuel, something completely different. So she happily takes her 3 Blox. Now we're down by the Long Island Sound and it is a bit cooler, just a bit but the houses are so gorgeous. One of the things she points out is that some people say hi and others pretend you're not there. It's kind of funny, maybe not everyone is as happy as we are to be out there. Who knows but it would make for an interesting study.

About a mile from my house I run out of water in my bottle, this could have been probelmatic as I did not have house keys and my mom's house was another 5 miles in away. Have I mentioned that it's HOT now and the sun is pretty high up in the sky? My mom, being the super-mom she is, has money in her little pouch so we stop at Starbuck's next to my house. It's nice and cool in there plus they donate money so that kids can have clean drinking water when you buy Ethos water. Everyone benefits from this, me, my mom (she used the bathroom) & kids who need clean drinking water. We're off again and its about 10am, moving right along one foot in front of the other. I start to use my mantra, something I picked up in Slow Fat Triathlete, repeat it even if you don't believe it..."I am strong. I am beautiful. I am an ATHLETE" over and over. It's time to eat, that trail mix hits the spot. We make the turn back towards Rye, only 4.5 miles to go. I notice that my mom is starting to slow up at bit, I know it's hot but I can tell that she's running out of steam so I tell her to eat some of the almonds she has. These are delicious, I bought some for myself yesterday and yes they have a chocolatey taste to them. After this little snack she gets her energy back, see sometimes even I am right. So close to home. She's doing great and I for the first time ever don't feel any blisters on my toes or feet. It's the best feeling, finally my shoes, socks and feet are in synch. Thanks Michelle for the sock remmendation, I will never go back to all of my toes being in one spot again!! My step dad called at 10:45ish to see how we're doing and to tell us he's going wholesale shopping. When my mom tells him where we are he's impressed and tells her how great this is. I don't think that in her own mind she's even acknowledged that she can do this. She can, I am sure. We finish our last 3 Blox and we make the last few turns toward her house. What a great feeling to have done all of this distance together, it will make race day that much better. We made it back to her house in 3.5 hours, well under the 4 hours we have alloted for the race. That said, it won't be hot and humid on race day and we won't have to carry any of our own stuff, that will help a lot with getting to the finish line.

It's nice that we have this time together, we chat about things and we do get to see some really NICE houses in Larchmont. This time is ours to enjoy each other's company and to train together, its a gift that not all mothers and daughters have. It is something to be cherished and never taken for granted. We stretched when we got back and I warned her how tired she was going to be, she was getting a bit out of it there for a bit towards the end. I left at 11:20 and it was 94 degrees, I could not be happier to come home, take a shower and wait for my hair appt. I needed a color bad, no nap for me. I was too busy eating and waiting to leave. That time in the chair though while they got the brown back in was so relaxing I did feel myself starting to nod off, I wonder if anyone would have noticed. Here's the hair and some nice shoulders just for fun. My hair used to be red with a blonde streak, I loved that but I think that as I get older I need to be more "natural". WOW those are some crazy muscles I have going on LOL. Anyway, I had a great walk with my mom today, we did the distance together and come October 11, 2008 my mom will be a 1/2 marathon finisher and I will be right there with her. Hopefully at mile 12.5 she'll get her makeup applied as she's hoping so that she does not look as though she did a 1/2 marathon.

Is there really any "Free" food...

2008-07-18T17:33:00.009-04:00

This topic came to mind on my train ride home from our DIRECTV Summer Party today. I was texting with Michelle about the goodie bag we received on our way out of the party. To the left is a picture of what was in our bag, I did rip open the Razzles as they are candy that turns into gum, what could possibly be better than that?!? Notice the shiny box of candy cigarettes? Remember when those were cool?? The reason this is coming to mind is because following the WW program you realize the true meaning of "Free" food. When you're on program a free food is one that is ZERO POINTS, mostly veggies and some condiments and berries. On a day when you've used your Daily POINTS Allowance and your flexies you are in serious need of some of those free foods. That said it brings to mind all of the "Free" food that is given out at parties, left around the office and served at various meetings. The office is a food battleground, one that takes very careful navigation especially for WW members and people concerned with their general good health.

I am certainly as guilty as anyone else of two big office fumbles, bringing in "bad" food that I no longer want in my house (Halloween candy) and leftovers from parties, dips etc. I have to say in my current office the later happens infrequently but the first still occurs. I have also been guilty of eating whatever people brought or left there for the taking. I figured what could it hurt...ummmmm well 231 pounds with pains in my feet and knees proved that it hurts a lot. Since joining WW and being dedicated to a healthy life I have stopped doing that and I have to say, it's not that hard to avoid these office pitfalls. I just have to remember Halloween candy is a trick not a treat, you think that because the pieces are small that they could not be that many POINTS, but 1 POINT per miniature is A LOT, especially because we all know that it's hard to eat just one. It's funny to be talking about Halloween candy in July but the goodie bag brought this one to the top of my mind. In my goodie bag was one of my favorite candy bars a 1000 Grand Bar, that's 4 points, practically a meal. Pre WW I would have eaten that without a second thought, I mean it was FREE. Now I think about how eating this will affect the rest of my day and personally, 4 POINTS on a candy bar is so not worth it. Another one of my favorites, also in the bag, is the Whatchamacallit, thats 5 POINTS...now that IS a meal. Again, please don't get me wrong I LOVE candy, I just look at it completely differently now.

I went to an offsite meeting on Tuesday that included lunch, and we all know how "good" that free food is for you. I did something that I never thought I could do, I packed my own lunch and snacks. Once lunch arrived I was so happy that I did, they had sandwiches and pasta, chips, cookies and some fruit. I happily ate my phoney salami sandwich, pre-measured pretzels and veggies. Totally worth it, even if the other food was "Free". I also knew that I was going out for dinner that night so I felt that my commitment to WW was more important than anything else after all, it's only food.

Working in an office where meetings are held pretty frequently with food being served and not all of it is consumed where else do you put the leftovers...on the filing cabinet between the cubes of course. THANK GOODNESS I don't sit out there. There are days when it looks better than others but to keep myself from eating it I just think about how many people have walked by, breathed on or touched the food, problem solved. Also, the thought of having to spend any extra time on my bike just because I ate something that I will eventually have to work off keeps it all in perspective. I pack enough food to keep me happy and satisfied at the office so I don't ever feel like that "Free" food is worth it. That bike sure is pretty though huh? I know that I am not alone in my quest for healthier food etc to be served at the office. When I was at Clorox in San Fran I brought it up to General Counsel that we really need healthier options at meetings both on and offsite sponsored by the Company. California is supposed to be filled with health conscious people, I guess that not too many of them worked at Clorox, no offense to anyone who works there, but at every meeting there were muffins, bagels and pastries, not one slice of fruit or any veggies in site. How is that promoting a healthy work environment? I brought WW at Work back to the office and we had a lot of successful, dedicated members, for their sake I hope that things have changed there.

I have no control over all situations the only control that I have is how I respond to them. I kept my "Free" food and will deliver it to another home shortly...after I decide if the 5 POINTS is worth it. :-)

Count Your Blessings

2008-07-16T20:17:00.012-04:00

That is what my friend Mindy told me today when I was celebrating my boss' approval of my alternate work schedule for 18 Tuesdays once Tri Training starts. Mindy is on the right and Jenny is in the middle, everyone knows the girl on the left. She got me thinking about what kinds of things I count as blessings. There are so many things and I could probably go on and on about those things but I will try to keep it to a minimum. Friends, family, my fantastic job and my good health are things that I am thankful for every day. Since I moved back to NY I have really been leaning on my friends and family and they have all stood by me, something that I know makes me very fortunate. When talking about friends I mean people who are both in NY and on the other side of the country.

I think that friends is a term that people use very loosely, they talk about people that they have met once or twice and they consider them a close friend. I am not one of those people, I take my time getting to know who they really are before I decide it they are worthy of bringing closer. Close friends are actually an extended family, a family you actually get to choose. I have had the same best friend for nearly 20 years, I spoke about her before, Kerry(her wedding photo is below). We have had moments where we don't speak as often as others but I know that she's always there no matter what, and vise versa. I think that I have told her at least 200,000 times how thankful I am for her. There is a group of people who I left in Cali, Karen, Erin, Robin, Jean and Ann. They were my co-workers at Clorox and without the 5 of them my hellish life in Nor Cal would have been completely lost. The miles have not reduced my knowledge that they are a blessing and people who will always be part of my life which is something special. Here we are on one of our outings to Tra Vigne, Michael Chiarillo's place...FANTASTIC. They were there for me every step of the way back to NY. In Michigan I made some dear friends too. Andrea(pictured below), Lora and Pam. They helped me with my decision to move from Michigan to Cali and back to NY. Although we don't talk everyday we always try to get together on my visits to Michigan. What a great group of women I am fortunate enough to call my friends. My NY friends are people that I would not trade for anything.We are a core group of 6 who email every day and are involved in some of the deepest parts of each others lives, from dating to pet health issues. We sometimes disagree like family and at the end of the day we kiss and make up. Larry, Ben, Nicky, Mindy and Jenny...two of whom are pictured above. They are my blessings in NY. They welcomed me into their lives and have made me a part of their family which is, as I get older, very unusual. This is an exceptional group and they are tolerating my semi-absence while I get this Tri Training going(I put it in all caps to remind myself how important it is).

Family...who isn't thankful for their family. I have spoken about my mother and my aunt. I have cousins who I love, they were really excited that I was coming home. I missed a lot being away and coming home made that more obvious. Now I don't miss a thing with them if I can help it. But someone that I consider a true blessing is my father. When I lived in Michigan we spent a lot of time together, something that I am so thankful for. My dad is an amazing man who is a brilliant editor in Michigan, he was just honored by other people in his industry and as I have said before, I could not be more proud to be my father's daughter. He's a good man who cheers me on much like my mom but he's far away. He's the reason that I have decided to do the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon. I recently did the Race for the Cure in Detroit and my dad was at the start and finish, it was an amazing feeling and one I will never forget. Here he is waiting with Andrea and I for the start of the race, did I mention we had to get up at 5 to get to the race before they started closing the streets? Yup, that's my dad.

Doing races for both breast cancer and Team in Training, that's where I got my start, reminds me how blessed I am that I have my good health. Knock on wood. I do not have anything that would prevent me from living my life to the fullest and because of that I try to pick races that have a charity that benefits from my doing it. It's my way of giving back and testing myself at the same time.

I am lucky enough to get up every day and head to a job that I love. Yes, I LOVE it! I feel challenged and appreciated at my job, most of the time. I work for a great boss who respects me and my work. I have a co-worker who is one of my closest friends. We are creepishly similar where we both say the same thing at the same time...creepy. Tammy is great! She's a So Cal transplant and a snowboarder, her great personality makes up for the knuckle dragging part of her. We recently completed a 5K Race for Women's Cancer, it was so great to have her there with me, we only finished about 5 minutes apart, she was faster. We both glowed in our finish time as we shuffled back down 5th Ave from Central Park, ummmmm there is no after race transportation??? Guess which one is Tammy? At lunch we watch I Love Lucy sometimes and it's funny how much we resemble those dear friends, she's my Ethel. So someone was watching over me when I submitted my resume to DIRECTV and for that I am once again blessed...

The Truth About Weight Loss

2008-07-14T10:32:00.033-04:00

The truth about losing weight is that its scary. Your body, lifestyle and a completely new relationship with food. ALL scary. I am speaking from experience as I have been on this journey for a long time. That's just one of many pictures from the journey. This picture was taken at my friend Kerry's wedding three years ago. I have NO idea what I was thinking but it certainly was not about losing weight and being healthy. I was more concerned with partying, drinking and worrying about everything else that was really important to me. Also, WHAT was I thinking with that bra??
The first and hardest thing to accept when on this weight loss journey or healthy lifestyle quest is that my body is changing. Its changing shape, size and it is always willing to accept any new challenge that I come up with. I am amazed sometimes that I am not 231 pounds anymore, that's the only image I have in my mind. I am wearing size 8 and I still think that I am a fat girl. It is something that is hard to get past and I know that I am not alone in that thought process. I am unsure how to get past it other than to look at recent pics and continue to shop in my closet. I work out once a week with a personal trainer to help change the shape of my body. They say that the shoulders are the smallest and fastest developing muscles in the body, I agree as I have a nice set of shoulders. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to post them here. I have lost inches off of my legs and even my midsection, with some help and good nutrition my body seems to react quite positively to the life I have chosen. This is from the finish of The Disneyland Half Marathon last September with my friend Kimberly, someone from Nor Cal that I miss dearly (hmmmm a blog idea for tomorrow). Shortly after this race I put on the 30 lbs I am currently taking off. In October there will be a pic like this of my mom and I. Looking at pics I can see my inner athlete trying to get out!
My relationship with food has REALLY changed. I use it to fuel my body, I think about what I am eating before I put it in my mouth. I try not to eat mindlessly, although I am only human. On WW you have to count your POINTS which is kind of like having a bank account to use but instead of money it's for the almighty food, which includes EVERYTHING. Before working the program I did not even think about how many points each Hershey's Minature had, well...the are 1 pt each!! For that?!?!?! Come on are you kidding. It's either that or I can have over a cup of strawberries or even carrots and hummus, which are both so much more satisfying. Don't get me wrong, I induldge on a weekly basis, but I count it and move on, sometimes with more guilt than others. Since I am a vegetarian veggies, fish and tofu are staples in my day. You'd be surprised how versatile veggies are and how many various meat substitutes there are out there. So thinking before I eat is something that I have learned over the years is really one of the most important lessons from WW. Look how pretty those veggies are. Who wouldn't want to munch on them.
My lifestyle is one of an athletic, determined woman. As much as I feel like I am 231lbs I know that I am not and it's because my lifestyle has completely changed. No more parties of drinking all night followed by cold pizza from dinner before the party. Now at parties I try to stay away from the food table, it's just not worth it to me to gorge and feel bloated. Plus when you're on a weight loss journey you realize how hard it is to get the scale to budge so I head out with the intention of hanging out with people I care about as opposed to getting excited that I can "cheat". Another change is instead of trying to squeeze as much time in bed as possible in the morning I head out at 6a.m., most mornings, for either a bike ride or a long walk. This way if I don't get to the gym at work I have a workout under my belt for the day. I do this on the weekends too, I can honestly say I cannot remember the last time I was in bed past 7a.m. This is a lifestyle that 70 pounds ago I could not even imagine. I also remember how forturnate I am to be able to be live the healthy life I have been given. I try to do races, mostly 5K races, that help others. The Race for the Cure is one of the biggest and this year I am doing two. In May I did one with my friend Andrea(isn't she cute?), who is also going to be my partner for the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon, because of her I had my best time yet, 34 minutes. Remember I could not run a mile in high school.
I was down 3.2 this past week, I weighed in a bit early since tomorrow I am heading to Bon Jovi tomorrow with a dear friend. That was a complete surprise but a welcome one on this journey.

Some Inspiration

2008-07-13T06:50:00.007-04:00

I have been thinking a lot about who inspires me to be a better, healthier, kinder person. Right now I have four women who stand by me no matter what is going on in my life, one of whom I wrote about yesterday. Two have known me my entire life, literally and the third recently showed up but is just as important.

Let's start with the woman who gave me life, my mother. I lover her more than words can express and without her I would not be half the woman that I am. She recently turned into my training partner, I have signed her up for her first 1/2 marathon which she will be completing at the age of 58. To me that's amazing and something to be praised. She's the fittest healthiest 58 year old I know. She pushes herself on a daily basis to be stronger and to ensure that she'll be around for a long, long time. I have had some very difficult times in my life and she has stood by me through every one of them. She's my biggest cheerleader on my weight loss and fitness jounrney, not matter how up or how down. I do know that I am fortunate that she is mine. When WE cross the finish line in October it will really be just the beginning our of fitness quest. I have promised her that she'll be hooked. Here's a pic from one of her visits to see me in Nor Cal, she LOVES La Crema.

The second woman has recently appeared in my life. Mary is my WW leader and without her I certainly would have quit. She stuck with me and encouraged me through the 10 week plateau, YES 10 WEEKS. It seemed as though it was never ending but Mary scoured the WW website to try to figure out ways to get this weight to budge and reasons why it may not be. It's hard enough to embark on a weight loss journey as life happens but with a fantastic WW leader it does not feel so daunting. She has ideas and anecdotes from her own weight loss journey. What is most important to me is that she's more than my leader, she's my friend and it's apparent that my success is just as important to her as it is to me. My fear is having to switch meetings because of triathlon training, I am doing everything that I can to prevent that. If you've ever done WW you know how important a leader that you connect with is. It's a special relationship and I am thankful that I walked into the Tuesday night meeting, my life is forever changed.

Last but not least is my aunt Riva(Isn't she cute). She only has sons and I am the only girl in my family...does that explain the special relationship I have with her? We are both on WW and attend meetings together, neither of us schedule anything else on that night(I am not as good as sticking to it but Bill Clinton and Bon Jovi are both important too). Every Tuesday we have a date, WW and then dinner at the diner where we catch up on everything that going on in our lives. In the last year through some various events and happenings Riva and I have really bonded. It's so nice to have her there with me through the frustration and joy, to be honest it's been more frustration than joy for me but she's always there. Riva, I will share my foot papertowel with you anytime.

Tri Reading

2008-07-12T06:14:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned yesterday I have been toying with doing a triathlon next year, I am even joining a gym with a pool and a tri club to help with reaching that goal. My friend Michelle, from Nor Cal, is my tri inspiration. She too had a blog and she's talented.

http://diaryofanaspiringloser.blogspot.com/

I highly recommend that you bookmark her blog, this lady is going places. This blog aspires to be as good as that one :-). A little background on this long distance, long lasting friendship. Michelle and I met in 2007 at our WW meeting in Novato, just before I was packing up and moving back to NY. We had the same starting weight, lived in the same complex (we did not know this for the 2 years I was there), and both had Palm Treo's (M: I still have mine), if anyone has used a Treo you know that they are great for texting. That's how we maintain our friendship, we've expanded to e-mail but text and now blogging is our main lifeline. We text daily about life, WW, our successes and our struggles.

A few months ago she mentioned that she had signed up for a Sprint Triathlon in Nor Cal and my firt reaction was I am so afraid of the open water swim I could never do that. But GO YOU! The happiness and joy that she shared at the completion of the event and that fact that she signed up for an Olympic distance one almost right after helped to peak my interest.

I mentioned to Michelle that's she got me thinking about doing a tri and even told her about the program at the Y. Of course she was on board that I should do this, for many reasons. One of them being that if I start to do these then we can meet somewhere and do one together. We can then celebrate our finish together and celebrate our success on WW, we did both start at over 200lbs. Along with many clothing and bathing suit recommendations she recommended two books, Your First Triathlon and Slow Fat Triathlete. The later she disclosed was a great inspirational read and that I was neither slow nor fat. She was RIGHT this book is VERY inspirational. I have been reading it every day, night and on the train, people think I am a bit off as I am laughing out loud on the train. The fact is though, I could be like this woman, that's the inspirational part.

That said, I have even more resolve to train and complete a Sprint Tri in the spring with the support and comradarie of my dear friend Michelle...and some other local support from my MOM. Who is doing a half marathon with me in October...maybe that's tomorrow blog.

The Last Gain

2008-07-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

So where to start...I guess at the beginning. I have had weight issues for my entire life, meaning I have always been overweight. In the last 5 years or so I have decided to take control of those issues by joining Weight Watchers and training for event after event. Last April I was down 85 pounds, yes 85 pounds, I was thin, too thin probably. It was not a healthy loss as I had just gone through a traumatic break-up and was moving back to NY from Nor Cal. I had been away from home for 10 years! Well I have been home since May 2007 and in February of 2008 I went to the doctor to find out that I had gained.....30 pounds back!!!! That was completely unacceptable, and it was grossly obvious that I was not following the program since it works if you work it. Here I am in July and I have lost 10 of the 30, it's been a slow process and when I say slow I mean a crawl. I was on a plateau for 10 weeks, amazingly I did not give up. It made me train harder and make other choices that were positive. This brings me to the title of this post.

After having three losses in row, something that was novel in the last few months, I had a small gain at my meeting on Tuesday and it really put me into a tail spin. The long weekend had been an activity filled on for me. I walked 19.5 miles over three days, rode my bike and played 9 holes of golf. The gain was such a bubble burst after all of the effort I put in to being on program. I earned 28 Activity Points and if you know anything about WW you know that's more than a full days worth of food. I just have to face the gain and learn from it.

As my profile says I could not run a mile in high school, I HATED the Presidents Physical Fitness test. It was my worst nightmare. It's funny that at 36 I am in better shape than I was from 13-30. I have done 1 full marathon and 7 or 8 1/2 marathons. If I seriously look at my life in the 5 years I should be proud of what I have accomplished and not get caught up in the negative.

This week, with the encouragement of a dear dear friend, I have decided that I am going to get past my fear of open water swimming and train for a Sprint Triathlon through the Y near my house. It will be something that I never thought I could do, kind of like completing the marathon(I cried at the finish). My body is ready to move on to the next level of fitness and I think that my mind just has to catch up.

This was not as hard as I thought. I have a friend in SF, who I mention a lot, who has a blog on here, it's fantastic!!